Darwen – UK Capital Of Dependency?

Parents have hit-out over a lack of bonfire events in Darwen.

‘Hit out’ at whom?

Why, the council of course! From whom all largesse originates, and who are even responsible for these people’s entertainment now!

Since a gala committee-run event in Bold Venture Park was cancelled over a decade ago, families say they have no option but to travel out of town or pay to attend a privately-run event.

So, basically, the option is to shift your lazy arse a bit further or pay out of your own pocket?

What awful injustice!

A mother of two young children from the Springvale area said: “The event at Bold Venture was very popular, but now there’s only pub events or ones you’ve got to pay to enter.

“I don’t really want to be taking my children to a pub, and I’ve had to pay out £17 for four of us to attend a private display in Hoddlesden.

“There is a big free-to-attend event in Witton Park, but why should we have to travel out of town to Blackburn?”

BECAUSE THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH, YOU PARASITE!!!

*deep breath*

That’s better. Luckily, some of the councillors are sensible:

Councillor Damian Talbot of Blackburn with Darwen Council, said: "We don't organise bonfires. The one at Witton Park, which is designed to be for the entire borough, is organised by the Blackburn Lions and Rotary Club and we support them.

“Given the tough financial climate we have to ensure money is being spent where it is needed most."

And some are not:

Councillor Steve Duncan, leader of Darwen Town Council, said he will raise the idea of funding an event next year with fellow members.

He said: “The problem with these events is the insurance and health and safety rules that go with them.

“I'll raise at the next development meeting to see what feeling is.”

If the ‘feeling’ is anything other than disgust at these freeloading parasites, it’s the wrong one…

Fun With (Industrial) Fireworks!

George Kemble-Brown, 15, of Great Baddow, bought the industrial firework – used by farmers to scare birds – illegally from a man in the street with his lunch money.

At around 8pm on Monday, George was messing about with friends at Great Baddow Recreation Ground.

But when he lit the fuse, the firework instantly exploded, deafening George and blasting his fingers off.

Well, at least no innocent people were hurt, and the little cretin claims to have learnt his lesson.

Which is more than you can say for his mother, who blames….anyone but her darling offspring, of course!

Mother Joanne Kemble-Wright said: "These are not normal fireworks – they are three times as loud – and it does not help that people are selling these in the street."

If people – your idiot offspring, for one – weren't buying them in the street, then perhaps no-one would be selling them in the street, hmm?

"You surely have to have a licence to sell things like that. "

Did the fact that they were sold illegally escape your notice? How would a license help?

"It just drives me mad."

You know what drives me mad, Mrs Double-Barrell? The way people like you seek to blame anyone and everyone for the inevitable consequences of your offspring’s actions - criminal actions, at that.

Plus the unnecessary waste of NHS time and resources used to patch him up. You should be charged for that.