I'm So Glad England Has Strict Gun Laws!

A sex offender armed himself with a shotgun and drove more than 30 miles to shoot out the windows of a terrified family.

Two days earlier, Adrian Thorsby, 49, had been granted bail prior to being sentenced for a sex attack on a girl.

Bail! FFS! They hand that out for pretty much anything these days, don't they?

Prosecutor David Hall told Hull Crown Court: "It seems that rumour and gossip and reports of the case spread around Hull.

"There were reports of him being a paedophile. He was unhappy about this."

You know how not to be reported as a paedophile, Mr Thorsby? Well, to start with, you could not be convicted of a sex attack on a 6-year-old child...

Still, armed with this new knowledge, the justice system will, I'm sure, deal with him appropriately.

Thorsby was jailed for four and a half years for possessing a shotgun with intent to cause fear of violence.

Oh. Maybe not.

Really? Are You Sure?

Neighbours have spoken of their shock after a 26-year-old man died after a disturbance at a house in west Hull.

Isn't it more of a shock when there isn't a murder in Hull?

James Myers, 22, said: "I didn't really know who lived there. They moved in a couple of weeks ago and kept themselves to themselves.

"I saw the man being pulled out on a stretcher so I knew it must be something serious.

"It is quite a shock. You don't expect something like this to happen on your doorstep."

I'd have thought you did if you lived in Hull...

Humberside Police Assistant Chief Constable Stuart Donald praised the officers involved in the case. Yesterday morning, Mr Donald posted on Twitter: "Excellent detective work overnight following death of man in Hull."

Really? Gosh. I doubt it took the detecting skills of Sherlock Holmes, somehow:

Yesterday, his father Stephen Hall, 52, appeared before Hull Magistrates' Court charged with murder.

Though I suppose all the DNA's the same, so...