Bodybags Sure Can Pick 'em!

The new farming minister fainted while visiting a refrigerated storage unit full of beef, it has been revealed.

Od dear. What was her name?

Stephen Morgan has been on a tour of farms and suppliers since being appointed.

Oops!  

...he felt ill when stepping into the room filled with shelves of meat from slaughtered cattle at a food processing plant in the Lake District. One local farmer, who knew about the incident, said: “He’d been shown large chunks of beef as well as some steaks but then he felt faint. 

“He said something like, ‘I don’t feel too well — I need a moment.’”

But it's OK, he may know sod all about farming, but his background in sociology and politics has made him a master of implausible excuses: 

The Portsmouth South MP explained of his wobble: “I felt unwell moving between the extreme heat and cold storage, and I’m grateful to all the staff at Lake District Farmers. 

“Hats off to the brilliant ­people working in these conditions and temperatures to keep the nation fed.”

When's that election? There was someone more incompetent that Starmer after all! 

Some Animals Are More Equal Than Others – When It Comes To Labour’s Slaughter Regulations, Anyway

Caged hens will be a thing of the past in England, the government has announced, as it launches a package of new animal welfare laws. Pig farrowing crates, which campaigners have said are cruel, will also be banned under the welfare changes. These cramped crates are used to stop pigs from rolling over and crushing their young, but once in them sows cannot turn over or move around at all.

Graat! More baby piglets squashed! That seems about right for a Labour policy change, to end up bringing about the very thing it sets out to halt... 

About 21% of hens in the UK today are kept in enriched or colony cages. These hold up to 90 hens, and have perching spots, scratch mats and nest boxes, but generally only provide a tiny space – about the size of an A4 sheet of paper – for each bird. The birds do not leave the cages for their entire lives – until they are sent for slaughter. This does not meet their welfare needs: chickens like to bathe in dust to keep their feathers clean, scratch and peck on the ground, perch on branches and jump and fly around.The environment secretary, Emma Reynolds, is to announce on Monday that her department will consult on phasing out the remaining enriched colony cages and transitioning to non-cage systems next year.

Thus making British produced chicken extra costly, and resulting in the importation of more cheap chicken produced abroad with lower - or no - welfare standards. Sorry farmers! 

Also in the new laws are humane slaughter requirements for farmed fish to spare them avoidable pain.

And the 'Daily Mail' is already trying to tell us that the lobster issue means restauranteurs will be out of pocket, but if they have chefs that don't know how to humanely despatch  a live lobster with a kitchen knife, they are probably restaurants you wouldn't want to visit anyway.

Richard Wilkins, who runs 104 Restaurant in London's plush Notting Hill, is among those questioning the need for the new guidance.

'How do you police something like that? Is Keir Starmer coming in in his chef's whites to keep an eye on things?'

Mr Wilkins said. 'The wider issue is whether we should we be legislating on everything. It's probably the most inane part of the strategy – if we're just banning it (without enforcement) that's kind of pointless, isn't it?'

Yes indeed, it's very reminiscent of the ban on fur farming, which simply meant that fur was imported from countries that laughed at the sensibilities of the animal rights lobby, like China.

Reynolds said: “We’re a nation of animal lovers. This government is delivering the most ambitious animal welfare strategy in a generation. Our strategy will raise welfare standards for animals in the home, on the farm and in the wild. We’ve already acted to improve zoo standards, end puppy smuggling and protect livestock from dog attacks. Now, we’re planning to ban caged hens, cruel snares, trail hunting, and curb low welfare dog breeding.”

But crucially, I note, not planning to ban the biggest animal rights issue that the public have consistently requested when given the chance:

 

Not As Daft As It Sounds...

The Government has announced an imminent ban on 'bird gatherings' as it tries to curb the spread of a highly contagious avian influenza.

From midday on Monday, the gatherings will be banned and this involves ducks, geese, swans, pheasants, partridge, quail, chickens, turkeys and guinea fowl, the environment ministry said in a statement.

All those laughing right now, no, the government isn't quite so dumb as to try to prevent birds of a feather from flocking together - this is human activity:

The UK Government classifies 'bird gatherings' as bird fairs, markets, shows, sales, exhibitions and some premises used for dealing or internet sales.

Vehicles used to transport a collection of live birds from multiple premises are also considered gatherings.

Are they worried about this? It seems they are, and for good reason - as Sobers points out in comments, there are drawbacks with vaccination: 

Bird-to-human transmission of avian influenza is rare and has only occurred a handful of times before in the UK.

Symptoms of the infection mirror those of regular flu and Covid. It doesn't spread easily between humans.

But I'm sure, in some area of Whitehall, to quote H G Well, 'slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us'. 

Will we meekly comply with lockdown this time? 

It’s Worrying That This Might Be Their Policy For Another Covid Too…

Poultry farmers are appealing to the government to let them vaccinate their flocks against the "devastating" bird flu virus spreading across the UK. Vaccinating poultry against avian influenza is currently not allowed in the UK. The government says that strong biosecurity measures and culling are the most effective ways of fighting it.

That's a bit of a change of tactics, isn't it? I guess no-one's pushing vaccination for birdies, just humans. 

Meanwhile, there are concerns that poultry vaccinations might be linked to the virus evolving.

No such concerns about covid, then? 

A bird flu prevention zone enforcing strict hygiene standards around domesticated birds has been declared for England, Wales and Scotland amid a rising number of cases of highly pathogenic avian influenza (HPAI). The risk to humans remains low, with chicken and eggs safe to eat if properly cooked, according to the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra).

And who wouldn't believe the government? 

Earlier this week, the government agency that deals with infectious diseases, UKHSA, confirmed a case of the H5N1 avian influenza virus in a farm worker in the West Midlands region. It said bird-to-human transmission of avian influenza was rare and that the risk to the wider public continues to be very low.

Sure it is. 

The National Farmers' Union said it was "essential that Defra refocuses efforts" on coming up with a workable avian influenza vaccination plan for the UK.

And if we had a government that valued farmers, instead of one that considers them guilty of crimes against climate, you might stand a chance. 

Another Attack On Farmers?

A farmer's daughter who was almost trampled to death by a herd of cows has warned that many people remain oblivious to the dangers posed by the normally docile animals.

Libby James was airlifted to hospital after being attacked by a group of the animals while walking with her husband Ger and their dog Arti in 2014. Since then Ms James has dedicated her time to raising awareness of attacks by 'killer cows', with shocking figures showing that in the past eight years at least 38 people have died in encounters with the herbivores.

A job that once went to sadly departed blogger Mark Wadsworth, but I suppose someone's got to pick up the baton... 

Speaking to the Mail, Ms James said she was not a novice when it came to being around the animals, but that still didn't prevent them attacking her.

'My father taught me to walk through a field of cows,' she said. 'I strolled confidently through the field and when the herd approached I raised my hands and bellowed "Go back".'

That's the wisdom imparted by dear old dad? 

Ms James has set up campaign group Cows On Walkers Safety (COWS), which runs the website 'Killer Cows' and has received more than 900 reports of cattle incidents since 2017. According to the latest available figures from the Health and Safety Executive, 62 people were killed by cows in the past ten years.

Sadly, our agriculture and livestock farming, not to mention our food production, relies on livestock, so we can't ban them like the XL Bully. Maybe scientists should be DNA-tinkering to produce more docile cows, and not ones that fart less? 

Ms James is calling for footpaths to be fenced off and cattle to be separated from public rights of way if fencing is not possible.

Has she any idea how much that would cost? 

'The footpaths were there before the farmers came on board. So the farms were established over the footpath network,' she said. 'The footpath network is wonderful, it keeps us in touch with nature and keeps people fit, and being able to access the countryside without the need to for an expensive gym or anything like that.

'So we need the footpaths, but we need them to be safe. People have a right to walk on those footpaths. It is indelibly laid down in law. 'But actually, if you put cows in a field and you are no longer safe to walk through that field. You are blocking that footpath, and that is illegal.

'And that is something that people don't realise yet.'

If it's illegal, how come no-one's been arrested for it? I'm sure the police would oblige, since Starmer The Farmer Harmer has decided they are Public Enemy No 1...