Well, Really, Who Could Have Forseen This?

Except….everybody:

In July, more than 20 Roma were given tickets for flights and coaches to Romania after being rounded up in a raid by immigration officers and police on their encampment in Park Lane.

Tickets were supplied by the UK Border Agency and homelessness charity Thames Reach, also funded by taxpayers.

But now Westminster city council says it is aware that six of the group - almost a third - have come back.

I know, I know. I was astounded too!

Councillor Nickie Aiken (Ed: Oh, hai, Nickie!) told the Sunday Telegraph: “We need to get stricter at the border, particularly if these people have agreed to go home in the first place at taxpayers’ expense.”

Oh, if only that were possible...

The Home Office said it was unable to say whether the Roma it had funded to go home had since returned.

Unable..? Or just unwilling?

Will They Provide Cover For Special 'Branch' Officers Then?

The UK Border Agency has beefed up security. Meet their front line:

"You....shall not....PASS!"

...a series of floral displays is at the heart of the Home Office's new beefed-up security measures at the UK Border Agency's Lunar House headquarters in Wellesley Road.

A planning application submitted to Croydon Council upon "Home Office instruction", shows 27 one-metre tall, two-metre wide plant pots are to be strategically placed around the building "for security purposes".

You're kidding me?

But the Home Office was this week tight-lipped on the pots' purpose, saying only: "We don't comment on the measures we take for security reasons so that people who might wish to do us harm are not aware of why we are taking steps to secure buildings."

*boggle*

How About A Straight Swap?

He has served in the British Army for four years with an ‘exemplary record’, but Poloko Hiri has now been ordered out of the UK – because of a speeding offence.

According to the UK Border Farce, a speeding offence shows 'bad character'. Enough to wipe out his service to this country, it seems.

He had been doing 81mph in a 50mph roadworks zone at 1.30am.

I'll eat this keyboard if there was anyone actually working in that zone at 1:30 in the morning!

Meanwhile...

A man who raped and sexually assaulted a 13-year-girl after plying her with drugs and alcohol has been jailed for eight years. Rawad Bastawi was found guilty of abusing the underage teen over a number of days at an address in Whitehawk, Brighton.

OK, deport him to wherever his ancestors hail from (no, not Brighton) and keep Sapper Hiri.

Lousy At Your Job? Just Throw Your Weight About!

Of course, this might only work if you’re a civil servant, who’s neither civil, not servile:

Heathrow airport has been ordered by the Border Force to stop handing out leaflets to passengers acknowledging the "very long delays" at immigration.

And also, handily, advising them how to complain to the Home Office!

Which, rather than making the UKBA up their game, put more staff on and resolve this issue, has had them throw their toys out of the pram and demand Heathrow takes action instead to stop it being reported...

…Marc Owen, director of UK Border Agency operations at Heathrow, has told BAA that the leaflets are "inappropriate" and that ministers would take "a very dim view".

Well, who cares what ministers think?

Is it the case that UKBA short-staffing is causing delays? Yes.

Is it the case that this is causing difficulty for passengers, and therefore, by extension, Heathrow? Yes.

Is it the case, as MacHeath notes, that the magic technology that enabled the UKBA to cut its staff to thinner and thinner levels keeps failing? Yes.

So fix it! Don’t shoot the messenger. Trying to hide things under the carpet never works…

In an email obtained by The Daily Telegraph, he said: "The leaflet... is both inflammatory and likely to increase tensions in arrivals halls especially in the current atmosphere. It is inappropriate in that it is not for you to display how to complain on our behalf.

Mr Owen also told BAA to prevent passengers taking pictures in the arrivals hall. Pictures of lengthy queues have been posted on Twitter by frustrated people.

He ‘told’ them to prevent pictures being taken? Under what powers?

Who does this useless article think he is to forbid photography, the police?