Monday, 27 February 2012

I Thought The Welsh Hobby Was Choral Singing..?

A family of eight desperate to move out of their tiny council house said they were shocked when the council suggested they “buy fewer toys” to make room.
Personally, I’d have suggested they buy more toys.

And play with them themselves, rather than with each other!
Christian Lorey, 30, and his 33-year-old partner Hayley Green said life is chaos with six children crammed into their three-bed home in Heol Cefni, Caemawr.
I suppose they could have reconsidered having some of those children then? But no, of course not. It’s their ‘uman right, look you…

OK, let’s take the roll call, shall we?
Corey aged 13, Lewis aged 12, Nikkisha aged ten, Morgan aged nine, McKenzie aged four and Mason aged two.
Hmmm, make’s you wonder about the gap between McKenzie and Morgan, doesn’t it? What was Mr Lorey doing rather than plowing Ms Green’s fertile field?
“The kids are fighting all the time because it is so cramped.

“They are getting no sleep because of it and waking up shattered.

“One of them is only two and he wakes everyone else up all the time.

“The house is so full it really isn’t comfortable.”
And who’s fault is that? Not the poor benighted taxpayers of Caemawr, I’ll be bound.
Swansea Council did not confirm or deny it had told the family not to buy any more toys.

But a spokesman said in a statement: “The housing service is aware of the family’s current housing need and their request to move to larger accommodation.

“But Mr Lorey is limiting his options because he has told us he only wants to move to a particular area of the city.

“We will continue to provide advice and assistance in order to achieve a positive outcome for Mr Lorey and his family.”
A couple of housebricks should do it for the ‘assistance’…
Mr Lorey confirmed the council had offered him another house, but he said this was still too small for six children.

He also said he did not want to move into a “worse area” of Swansea than the one in which he currently lives.
I’m not going to suggest that the mere fact of Mr Lorey moving into an area with his brood will automatically make it a worse area, dear me, no…

How can he afford this, you ask? Well, simples!
Mr Lorey suffers from depression and does not work. His partner is a housewife.
There you go! They aren’t paying – we all are!


Captain Haddock said...

"Mr Lorey suffers from depression" ..

I think I'd suffer from depression too, if I lived in Wales .. ;)

"does not work. His partner is a housewife" ...

No .. but I bet they can afford (at our expense) to smoke, drink, enjoy nights out with their mates, have a 50" flatscreen telly & a dog (they always have a dog, don't they ?) ..

Remember the old rhyme .. "Taffy was a Welshman .. Taffy was a thief" ?

Well in this case one's an oxygen thief, t'other a sperm thief .. ;)

General Pyston Broak said...


He wouldn't be depressed after Wales beat England to win the triple crown on Saturday;)

£580 a week x 52 is £30,160 a year and the rent is already paid. That's a gross income of over £40,000 you'd need to earn to get that.

Absolutely ridiculous.

Antisthenes said...

I am Welsh by birth and Scottish and English by ancestry so not keen on Captain Haddock's comments or JM's mocking " look you…". I am not adverse to a bit of leg pulling but what is tantamount to racism is going that bit too far. Please be more sensitive of other peoples feelings.

However that aside my comment on this subject is if the UK does not return to growth or even if it does financial resources are going to become ever more scarce. So the likes of these people are going to find that the state is going to do and care less for them and rightly so.

John Tee said...

When does the benefit cap come in?

Anonymous said...

For those who choose to opt out of 'normal' society, whereby you work and take care of yourself, there appears little consequence.

He should be told that every taxpayer has had the same idea as him and no one is working any more as they are all depressed at being taken for mugs.

The same chavs also make themselves a burden on medical, police and council services....what can you do with them? What work ethic are those kids growing up with....none by the look of it.

Not too depressed to have lots of sex then?

John Tee said...

Hmmm, make’s you wonder about the gap between McKenzie and Morgan, doesn’t it?

I note that the oldest's surname is Green. So much is missing from the story. It could be, just possibly, that Mr Lorey is not the biological father of, say, the first four, thus explaining the gap.

I also note that they have been on the waiting list for a larger property for eleven months. So up until then everything was peachy?

John Tee said...

Mr Lorey suffers from depression and does not work. His partner is a housewife.

Could not Mr Lorey be the house husband, leaving Ms Green available for payed work? Or does depression mean you can't operate a vacuum cleaner or open a tin of beans?

Captain Haddock said...

@ Antisthenes ..

I'm saddened that you perceived my comments as being racist ..

Piss-taking, definitely .. racist, no ..

And I certainly don't wish to fall out with you over them ..

I've been to Wales for arduous training a number of times and have indeed found it to be a depressing place .. often with a low cloud-base, often raining .. very ofen downright unfriendly (especially in the North, despite one's pay going into the local economy) ..

As for the use of the name "Taffy" .. all I can offer you is that in HM Armed Forces, any Welshman, whose real name is not known to you, is called "Taffy" or "Taff" .. just as any Scot is called "Jock" (in fact I once served with a Scot, who disliked his christian name so much, that he refused to answer to it and insisted on being called "Jock" followed by his surname) ..

Similarly, because of where I originally hail from, I was invariably known as "Yorkie" .. and you should hear the comments passed about Yorkshire folk where I now live, in Lincolnshire, they'd fair make one weep, if one were over sensitive ..

I'd go so far as to say that one of the things I miss since retiring is the merciless piss-taking .. no-one was immune and even if one were the current "duty victim", one knew that it would be someone else's turn very shortly .. it was a kind of "cement" which bound individuals together, to form a cohesive team ..

Macheath said...

Applying the usual underclass arithmetic, Lorey would have been 17 when the oldest child was born and the mother 20; on balance of probablility, I'd say the boy isn't his (which raises the interesting question of child maintenance, if John Tee's hypothesis is correct).

However, they seem to be making up for lost time; I was under the impression that depression severe enough to make someone permanently unemployed - given that many sufferers manage to hold down jobs - is linked to a complete lack of interest in sex, but there you go.

PJH said...

"What was Mr Lorey doing rather than plowing Ms Green’s fertile field? "

Something along these lines? I'm sure the name is just co-incidental:

"A SWANSEA father of six has been sent to prison for a trafficking offence involving the Class A drug cocaine.

Christian Lorey was charged after police raided his home in Heol Cefni, Morriston, a judge was told.

Anonymous said...


I've been to Wales several times and on each occasion it was closed.

What a dump, just fields and sheep, full of inbreeds and the perpetually offended. Like you.

Baa! There's lovely for you, isn't it?

PS Rain.

Albion lost said...

"what is tantamount to racism"

FFS, can we avoid the modern-think and leave the magic word 'race' out of this altogether?

Wales is just a country, in which there are people of various races, colours, height, weight, age, etc. If you want to be 'sensitive' then go right ahead, but do it in your own back garden and not advertise it here.

Anonymous said...

And on cue from the Daily Wail (Hypertension sufferers MUST NOT read)

At least 100 families raking in enough housing benefits to fund a £1MILLION mortgage each
Thirty families receiving £6,000 a month and at least 60 families getting £5,000 a month
Unemployed living in luxury homes in upmarket parts of London such as Kensington, Chelsea and Westminster
Poor families should not be allowed to live 'swanky' lifestyles in postcodes beyond their means, says campaigners
Calls for the Government's £400 per week cap to be properly enforced
Housing benefit costs taxpayers £22bn a year

Read more:


Antisthenes said...

Captain Haddock a bit of ribbing, piss taking and being called Taffy I can live with that and I accept your explanation as it being no more than that. It is however a very thin line between that and bigotry and Anonymous and Albion Lost have all the hall marks of those types of people and are ignorant cretins to boot.

Anonymous said...

Hey Taff,

I'm sure that the Capt'n is mighty relieved to find that you accept his explanations.

I personally don't give a piss if you are offended by someone pointing out that the Taffs are, in general, a bunch of touchy bastards with a persecution complex, who blame the fact that their own nation is a post-industrial shit-tip on the English, the very same English that pay for your shitty little country to continue to produce sheep-shaggers, drunks and half-wits. Isn't it?

Antisthenes said...

Hey Anonymous

You really are a nasty bit of soiled toilet paper with a mouth to match.

JM points out that the world these days is populated with morons like you. What is your excuse for behaving in such a rude and obnoxious manner? Had too much to drink and had a degenerate upbringing where goading and antagonising decent people was considered a real laugh, something you obviously still do.

Anonymous said...

Hey Boyo,

You were doing fine until you said 'decent people', then the post descends into farce.

Everybody knows that decent people don't shag sheep or eat daffodils.

Tom Jones, what a degenerate.

PS The only good thing to come out of Wales, apart from Ian Rush, is the M4. Rhyl looks like a testing ground for genetic weapons. The stench is overwhelming, and anyone with more then 4 teeth is viewed with total contempt. Well, when I say 'viewed', I mean squinted at.

There's filthy shit-hole for you, isn't it? It's probably best just to nuke the place and be done with it, and all the midgets that 'live' in it.

PPS Please don't set fire to some poor bugger's cottage in your impotent rage.

Anonymous said...

"I note that the oldest's surname is Green."

Just as well, he would be Corey Lorey!

Antisthenes said...

You obviously have not the first idea what decency means. You really are a sad specimen of a human being. I suggest you crawl back into the sewer that spawned you taking your venomous words and your ignorance with you. I would not stoop so low as to disparage people of a different race, nationality, ethnicity or religion yet you are obviously happy and feel gratified to do so which tells me and I suspect many others who are witnessing this exchange between us what an absolute utter low life you are.

Anonymous said...

Hey Boyo,

I'll leave off (most of)the insults and cut to the quick.

You have accused me of being, amongst other things, an ignorant cretin, rude and obnoxious, spawned in a sewer, a piece of soiled toilet paper and of having had a degenerate upbringing (which besmirches my parents and nation, but you seem oblivious to that).

You started the faux-outrage, indignity and hurt when innocuous comments were made by another about the Welsh, coming over all offended and wounded because someone dared point out that Wales has its fair share of tits, trying to call the Welsh a race when they are a nationality, thinking you had a trump-card in ANY argument by claiming to be the victim of racism, then using slagging tactics whilst thinking you occupy the moral high-ground and complaining when others do the same to you.

You say you were born in Wales, but your heritage is Scottish and English. You probably don't even live there (and never have, and I don't blame you, your parents were probably on holiday in the other world-renowned pile of piss - Llandudno - when you popped your dopey head into the world)and you think you can score a few ethnicity points by claiming to be a Boyo. If so you're no more Welsh by being born there than you are a donkey if you were born in a stable.

PS I'm not surprised you're a bit strange if one of your parents is a porridge-wog.

PPS You're not a female are you? You look like you may be from your over-emotionalism and hyper-sensitivity. If so, I'll leave off; it's not the English way to argue with a 'lady'.

PPPS Ffestiniog is shit as well. HTF can a flooded slate mine be a tourist attraction? Utter shit.

Frankie said...

Mr. Lorey needs a TV... To take his mind off 'the other'. Probably no room for one though, with all those kids!

PJH said...

"Probably no room for one though, with all those kids! "

Or toys. Don't forget the toys.

Antisthenes said...

Anonymous at least you are a comic of sorts your last comment is quite amusing. You obviously know nothing, understand nothing and are nothing. So I forgive you your transgressions as you are obviously not in full control of your faculties and one must make allowances for those with impaired mental abilities. So I suggest you leave off any further vitriol take your medication have some sleep and dream about sheep and wake up a different person preferably a nice one.

Anonymous said...


Counting sheep in order to sleep means a WHOLE different thing in Ingerland than it does in the valleys, mmm?

PS I thought that Ingerland was at least as shit as Wales, so much so I left the festering heap years ago. Don't have me down as merely anti-Welsh, I hate everybody.

Anonymous said...

Hey Daffyd,

Trawsfynnydd is quite nice. Submerged under millions of gallons of water to provide electricity to Scousers.

At least it's a start. Drown the buggers.

There's wet for you.

Macheath said...

@PJH Or toys. Don't forget the toys

Of course, that was what set the whole thing off in the first place, way back in the distant past...

I suppose any suggestion they might have saved the money and put it towards the deposit for renting from a private landlord would be met with howls of outrage.

Antisthenes said...

Anonymous we appear to have some things in common I also do not hold my fellow men in high esteem although I do not go around slagging them off. Except perhaps for criminals and politicians (who are only people on different sides of the same coin). I also fled Wales quite early on and then the UK altogether some time ago. Though I do miss it sometimes despite it's many downsides as I have found the land in which I have imposed my self exile has as many downsides except they are different ones and more alien.

Antisthenes said...

Anonymous I see you are still making derogatory remarks about Wales. I shall just put it down to your mental illness so will not take umbrage.

Anonymous said...

Hey Taff,

You won't believe it, but I've thought of a fella half-decent who was a leek-eater - Richard Burton.

Strange he anglicised his name and affected an outrageous English accent in order to succeed though, eh?

Oh yeah, he was good, really good.

But ... when I say half decent, I meant the non-Welsh bit.

The Welsh bit was obviously an adultering, wife-beating alcoholic that didn't have the sense to fulfill his potential because his mind was blighted by petty sentimentalism for a bunch of piss-poor 'mountains', coal-mines and gay choir-boys at the gay-fest that is Eisteddfod.

Isn't it?

Antisthenes said...

Anonymous I see you are not just criminally insane and should be locked up in Broadmoor but you have a hearing impediment as well. Richard Burton had a pronounced Welsh accent tempered somewhat by the needs of his vocation. Your take on the Welsh accent from what I can discern from your incoherent scribblings leads me to believe that you have very limited knowledge of the Welsh and how they speak. Like any other nation there is a plethora of different tones, dialects and regional variations. You like all bigots have gone for the stereotypical one which is only spoken in one small part of South Wales.

PJH said...

Hey, Julia - have you got a room you can lend to those two who are arguing?

Anonymous said...


Check out Richard's Wiki for the truth on his accent, and the mentor that gave it to him. Queen's to the root (if you'll forgive the pun [or understand it].)

Crystalised alcohol on the spine, FFS? Just how much DID he drink.

Clever bloke though, no doubt about that. The end of an era, sadly lamented - Welsh people with talent.

Compare with Max fucking Boyce, and see how much of a twat Max is.

No English influence, you see?

I'll shove that leek straight up where the sun don't shine, but that would be just about the whole area of Wales, as it rains with monotonous regularity. The Sun is such an uncommon appearance that the local is a pasty, pale looking sort of creature.

They are so backward that they throw sticks at helicopters because they are fearful of the 'iron bird!'

Antisthenes said...

Anonymous it has been nice trading insults with you but time to call it a day me thinks. If JM (apologies to JM for sullying her blog comments page with our irreverences) does not ban one or both of us then we can possibly resume another time on another subject. If you wish to have the last word feel free but for now I am signing off.

Anonymous said...


Yes, you are quite correct, it is very rude to argue on someone else's site.

I'll stop now.

PS The thought of sharing a room with the sexually deviant (ie Welsh) is horrifying. I doubt I'll sleep now, unless... ahh... sheep... those little furry bastards... jumping over fences... in order to escape the wellington booted Taff, weilding his shrunken penis like a lollipop stick, shouting bollocks about Owain Glyndwr whilst trying to simultaneously fill in a disability allowance benefit form because his forefathers (ie drunks) were battered by the English for the last 2000 years.

Utter bastards. The lot of them.

Anonymous said...

Hey Taff,

Fair enough.

Sleep well. You gave as good as you got.

Isn't it? :-)

Tattyfalarr said...

"The thought of sharing a room with the sexually deviant (ie Welsh) is horrifying. " man is a Gog...I like it. *huge grin*

JuliaM said...

"Well in this case one's an oxygen thief, t'other a sperm thief .."


"That's a gross income of over £40,000 you'd need to earn to get that."

It's amazing that more politician don't simply point this out in this manner - perhaps it's convince more people?

"...or JM's mocking " look you…"."

Antisthenes, you've been a regular here for long enough to know that mocking's a big part of it. I'm an equal opportunity mocker - everyone gets a taste sooner or later! It'll be Liverpudlians tomorrow... ;)

"When does the benefit cap come in?"

Not soon enough for me!

JuliaM said...

"Not too depressed to have lots of sex then?"

Well, indeed! And as Macheath points out, isn't that supposed to be a side effect of the claimed depression?

" It could be, just possibly, that Mr Lorey is not the biological father of, say, the first four, thus explaining the gap."

Good point!

"Something along these lines? I'm sure the name is just co-incidental.."

Oooh, good find!


We need to see more and more of this, to counter the 'Guardian's bleating...

JuliaM said...

"Hey, Julia - have you got a room you can lend to those two who are arguing?"

When I popped in and saw the comment count in the afternoon, I thought: 'Odd. I don't recall writing anything about cyclists in that post..' ;)

"...apologies to JM for sullying her blog comments page with our irreverences.."

Ahh, at least it ended amicably... ;)