Because ‘The Curry House Argument’ Wasn’t Working…

The UK Border Agency was today accused of damaging London’s reputation for world music with a “heavy-handed” visa clampdown.

Oh noes! However will we look….errr, somebody…in the face again?

Music promoter Jay Visvadeva had to cancel two performances by the renowned Pakistani group Sachal Jazz Ensemble at Kings Place in King’s Cross last week.

And thus the music scene in London is that little less vibrant and rich. Or something.

“Six professional musicians who travel the world constantly should have a clean application. We had no issues with visas last year. The Border Agency are the culprits. They are heavy-handed especially with people from the Indian subcontinent.”

Gosh. I wonder why? Did they just pick them out of a hat? ‘Today, chaps, it’s roust the Romanians, and next Tuesday, it’s torment the Tonganese’. Is that how it works?

Or is there maybe a valis reason?

Simon Broughton, editor of world music magazine Songlines, said visa issues were making promoters reluctant to book musicians from certain countries. “I don’t know whether something has changed at the Border Agency but it has become a problem recently,” he said.

“Great musicians who are very well known in their own fields are not getting into this country, where there is an audience for them. Much of the music is a fantastic way of correcting the image of Islam as sombre and strict, but the musicians can’t get into the country. It doesn’t help the understanding of these cultures.”

I think we understand ‘em just fine. That’s exactly why we are tightening up on the entry requirements…

Frankly, Yes. And Long May It Remain So…

A leading UK human rights charity has claimed there is a campaign of intimidation of human rights workers going on at UK borders…

Really? Why?

… after the Terrorism Act was used to detain a Yemeni activist at Gatwick.

Ah. Of course. Who happened to work for that very same charity.

Baraa Shiban, a respected human rights activist who works in Yemen as a project co-ordinator for the London-based legal charity Reprieve and was travelling to London to speak at an event, said he was held for an hour on Monday night and questioned about his work and political views.

Reprieve, the charity founded by the odious Clive Stafford-Smith and dedicated to ensuring scumbags go free, or live behind bars rather than be put to death. Well, for once, the UKBA is on the ball.

And I don't say that often.

Shiban said: "I was stunned when the border agent said I was being held simply because I came from Yemen. It was even more shocking when he spent the entire time asking me about my human rights work and about Reprieve, the charity I work for.

"Is the UK the kind of place that human rights activists are fair game for detention, intimidation and interrogation?"

Let's hope so, in your case!

Why Does It Take Three Years..?

Dudley Magistrates’ Court heard how Mohammed Mahdizada made no attempt to intervene when the Japanese akitas launched at Alan Pearce’s Staffordshire Bull Terrier, Oscar.

When Mr Pearce put his hand down to stop the two dogs, one bit his hand before biting him again on his two feet as he fell and slipped to the ground in the Fen Pool Nature Reserve in Pensnett, Dudley.

Mahdizada, 27, an asylum seeker from Iran who lives in Walpole Street, Wolverhampton, then walked away with the two dogs, making no contact with Mr Pearce, who later needed eight stitches to his feet.

*sighs*

Mahdizada was convicted following a trial last month of allowing a dog to be out of control in a public place. He claims to be looking after the dogs in his home while the owner is away in Iran.

Gosh, I hope the owner left him plenty of cans of Pedigree Chum too. After all, asylum seekers live in penury, according to the progressives…

The situation has left police unable to get owner’s permission to assess the dogs for their danger to the public from their owner – so an application to destroy them cannot be made.

Surely it can be made once Mr Anon returns? In the meantime, they are under the temporary ownership of Mr Mahdizada, so why cannot he give permission?

Would a vet refuse to treat them because he's not the owner?

Yesterday at the court hearing, deputy district judge Mr Prakash Aujla said: “If someone can’t be bothered to obey laws in this country or assist this court, they deserve the punishment it warrants.”

Oooh, I bet that didn't go down too well…

Mr Roy Paterson, defending, said Mahdizada had been living in the country as an asylum seeker for three years and did not work.

Why does it take three years to assess his claim?

Mahdizada will be sentenced at Wolverhampton Crown Court on July 10.

One to watch.

Pure Theatre...

Border police swooped on town centre businesses in Faversham alongside firefighters, housing and environmental health officers in a secret spot-check.

Seven premises, including cafes and restaurants, received random visits from the team, which checked for illegal immigrants and hygiene and fire safety breaches on Friday last week.

Woohoo! At last! How many did they catch?

Errr...

No arrests were made...

*sigh*

Karyn Dunning, head of the Border Agency's Immigration Team in Kent, said the exercise was an "excellent example" of cooperation between Kent Police and council officers...

Apart from that wholesale failure to catch anyone, I guess? Still, just another pointless exercise.

Why pick sleepy Faversham, though?

As one of the towns along the route of the Olympic torch relay, Faversham is likely to come under increased scrutiny from emergency and security services and more secret checks are planned.

Ah.

H/T: Rob Cullen via email

Well, There’s A Shocker, And No Mistake…

A failed asylum seeker living in Nottingham was convicted of fraudulently receiving more than £14,000 in benefits.

Mohammed Hossein Gholamy, 27, of Maud Street, New Basford, had denied the charges but was found guilty at Nottingham Magistrates' Court.

The court heard £8,585 was paid into his bank account during the same period he received £14,212.87 in benefits between August 2009 and June 2011.

And where did it come from?

The court heard that after being refused asylum, Gholamy made further representations about his claim in June 2009 and was banned from working while the UK Border Agency considered his additional evidence.

But after being arrested for being drunk and disorderly (Ed: With that name..?!) in June 2011, officers found documents in his possession – including vehicle registration, bank statements and a taxi licensing application – which indicated he had another income.

Well, of course! What better way to go to work in the black economy than by taxi driving? I mean, it’s not like anyone ever checks who you are when they are handing out those licenses…

Have we got rid of him yet?

Gholamy was sentenced to 60 days in prison, suspended for a year.

He was also ordered to carry out 200 hours' unpaid community work.

Ah. Guess not.

The UK Border Agency said it will now seek to remove Gholamy from the country if the further representations about his asylum claim are rejected.

*sigh*

10 Mnths! K Thnx Bai!

A Polish man who beat up a woman at Blackburn has learned of his 10 months jail term by text after leaving the country.

SNORK!

Judge Pamela Badley sentenced him in his absence to 10 months prison.

Less time served…

Oh, wait.

Following the hearing, Mr Hind said the ‘sentencing text’ was a first. He added: “His passport was seized as part of his bail conditions, but he’s managed to get through somehow.

“If he ever lands on British soil he’ll be arrested at port of entry and jailed. But I can’t say if he’ll be back.”

It seems that, thanks to our useless border controls, no-one can say if he’ll be back! He may already be back, of course...

Well, They Won't Have Much Trouble Finding It...

Don't get ripped off, though, lads. No more than £5 a wrap is my guess...

At Last!

Thousands of child asylum-seekers are to be removed from Britain under savage budget cuts being drawn up by the Home Office ahead of this week's comprehensive spending review.

A briefing document sent to ministers sets out detailed proposals to remove child refugees before they reach 17 years old, and recommends bearing down on benefits given to asylum seekers.

I’m not sure which aspect of this gladdens my heart more. Is it the fact that the coalition at least seems to be taking the phrase ‘charity begins at home’ seriously?

Is it the fact that they seem capable, unlike Labour, of looking to the future, not just the present?

Under current rules unaccompanied child asylum-seekers are usually granted leave to remain in the UK until they can make a fresh asylum application as an adult.

There are more than 4,200 unaccompanied child asylum-seekers in Britain, with most being supported in local authority social services homes.

Or is it the fact that the squeals of outrage from the ‘Open Borders’ advocates is starting to reach a pitch only dogs and bats could hear?

Emma Ginn, of the charity Medical Justice, said last night: "Many unaccompanied children are orphans. Many have escaped various forms of slavery, war and being made into child soldiers. To deport vulnerable unaccompanied children is despicable. To do it to save money is indecent ... How we treat asylum-seeking children is already uncivilised, but to sink this low would cost our international reputation dearly."

Yeah, you know what? I think we’ll live with that just fine…

The news that there may be savage staffing cuts on the horizon too has galvanised the unions to begin their special pleading too:

Paul O'Connor, the Home Office group secretary of the Public and Commercial Services union (PCS), said that cutting staff would lead to security risks from international criminal smuggling gangs and child and sex traffickers.

He said: "There should be no compulsory redundancies. In terms of frontline security our members are the first port of call to maintain proper border controls. If they decide to cut one in three this country will be less safe and lead to a massive exploitation of young people."

Yes, I’m sure fewer UKBA bungling clowns staff would indeed make the UK less safe…

One of the proposals outlined in the document has already been implemented. The £50m Immigration Impact Fund, which gives aid to local authorities to help support asylum-seekers living in their region, was quietly dropped over the summer.

Perhaps that explains why councils are starting to say ‘Enough’s enough’?

Clearly, money talks louder than the wishes of their constituents…

I Never Thought I'd Say This...

...but well done, Birmingham!

Birmingham City Council will not renew its five-year contract with the UK Border Agency, meaning not a single immigrant will be granted asylum there by the public sector after June next year.

And three cheers for councillor John Lines, who is surely about to face a concerted attack by the left and their fellow travellers for this:

Cllr John Lines, who is in charge of housing, said the decision was made because of the rising numbers of homeless people in the city, and insisted it was "not to save money, not political and not racist".

And why, exactly, should he need to state that?

He said: "Hundreds of Brummies, hundreds of my people are in B&Bs instead of council-provided homes. Why should that be? My people have got to come first.

"The asylum seekers arrive here, they have a blooming family and they keep having children - it's a burden on the system.

"If people say I'm racist then I'd say we've got Brummies of all colours here, third or fourth generation Asians and blacks, but if you say I'm putting Birmingham people first, then, yes, I am."

Hopefully, it'll spread. There are signs of this already:

Wolverhampton council is understood to be ending its agreement with the Border Agency too.

It's not entirely good news, though. It's only good news for the council ratepayers of Birmingham. Income tax payers are still on the hook:

The UK Border Agency’s regional director for the Midlands and East of England, Gail Adams, said: “We’re disappointed by Birmingham City Council’s decision to withdraw from the West Midlands Consortium."

Asylum seekers could continue to come to the city but will have to live in privately rented accommodation, paid for by the Border Agency.

No. The Border Agency doesn't have any money.

Paid for by US....

I'll Save You The Trouble, Shall I?

It's because you are a pack of bumbling incompetents who couldn't find your own anuses with both hands and a torch:

The UK Border Agency is to launch an inquiry into how Benmakhlouf, who has 12 aliases, was able to make a mockery of Britain's border controls yet again.

Can anyone honestly claim to be surprised by this? Anyone? Bueller?

The 28-year-old, was first thrown out in July 2007 when, while serving a three-and-a-half year prison sentence for theft, he was given £3,000 by the Government to be released early and fly home to his native Algeria.

That went well, eh..?

But 24 hours later he returned to London on Eurostar to continue his extraordinary crime wave.

Benmakhlouf was re-arrested in April 2008 and jailed for three years the following month after admitting two thefts and asking for five similar offences to be taken into consideration.

But he was released last March after serving just a third of his sentence and flown home again at taxpayers' expense.

Ah. The good old taxpayer. The ones he was robbing personally, rather than getting the government to do it for him...

A UK Border Agency spokesperson said: 'We will look to remove this individual as soon as the judicial process is concluded. Those who come to the UK and break the rules will not be tolerated.'

They won't be kept out, either, it seems.

Shall we reserve him a seat now, for his next trip?

Joined-Up Government: Part 347

The trial of a Pakistani student accused of causing two deaths in a road crash is going ahead despite his failure to return to the UK.

Syed Raza, 27, will be absent from the trial at Lincoln Crown Court as he is in Pakistan, a jury was told as it was sworn in on Monday.

He was allowed to fly out to his sick mother while on bail, but failed to return.

Well, isn’t that just typical?

But, wait!

Mr Raza's visa expired while he was in Pakistan and the Border Agency prevented his return to face trial on several occasions.

Say what…?

First, he’s allowed to fly out despite the authorities knowing that his visa is shortly to run out, and then, when it does, despite knowing he’s on bail, the UKBA refuse to let him back in?

Not once, either. Multiple times.

A judge ordered the Agency to allow his return and Lincolnshire Police paid £516 for his flight but Mr Raza failed to board the plane.

How did Lincolnshire Police ‘pay his flight’? Have a whipround?

Or do they really mean, taxpayers paid for his flight...?

Pavlov's Cat can't believe what he's reading either...

‘Trojan Horse? Yeah, It Sort Of Rings A Bell…..’

I guess no-one at the Border Agency ever saw ‘Troy’:

A coach used by Border Agency workers to commute to France could have provided a route for hundreds of illegal immigrants into Britain.

A stowaway was seen fleeing from the coach in Folkestone, Kent, at the end of last month, in what appeared to be a one-off incident.

But a source close to the Border Agency has told the Mail this was just the tip of the iceberg, calling the coach a 'magnet for illegals' trying to sneak into the UK.

Now, you must be saying, surely a BA staff coach would have stringent counter-intelligence procedures and security?

It seems not:

The authorities have since discovered two overlooked hiding places either side of the coach's fuel tanks, where up to four stowaways can ride at a time.

And because its passengers are immigration officials, the vehicle is routinely waved through border checks.

It follows a predictable route and timetable and stands out as it is virtually the only coach without markings.

/facepalm

Let’s hope that MI5 don’t start recruiting from within UKBA ranks…

It is understood that the Border Agency specified the vehicle should have no logos to prevent identification, but this has had the opposite effect.

Well, who could foresee that? Apart, that is, from just about anybody who ever watched an episode of ‘Spooks’ or ‘Burn Notice’…

The source said: 'A large group of Border Agency staff have been staying every night for years at The Suite hotel in Coquelles - and the coach has always parked outside overnight.

'Some illegals have clearly discovered a new hiding place in it that no one had thought of before.

'The beauty of it is twofold. Firstly, in immigration officers' training, they are not trained to search for this space in a coach because no one had thought of it.
'Secondly, the coach is full of immigration offficers, so it's waved straight through by their colleagues at passport control.'

The source continued: 'I would not be surprised if the immigration service coach and its secret hiding place had been common knowledge among illegals for years.

I’d be astonished if it wasn’t…