One To Watch For Next Month?

It is absolutely terrifying. You know how they say you should never see how a sausage is made? Well, my friends, better a thousand sausages than any of the workings of this foundational piece of the criminal justice system – the best method of dispensing fairness we have been able to invent, and upon which the fates of uncountable millions of accused, their accusers and silent victims have depended.

What is this show? Well, it's Channel 4’s The Jury: Murder Trial, where not one but two juries are attending the same (dramatised) trial, in ignorance that the other exists. And since I'm due to take up a second stint at jury service in early April, I thought I'd better tune in and see what ten years had wrought on the average member of the public.

And...all I can say is I really hope that the members of both juries have been selected the way all such reality shows are usually selected, with an eye to drama. Because what I saw was nothing like my experience (of careful and sober juries), which fully understood the rules and more importantly, what we were really there to do.

Is this typical of modern juries? I'm going to find out soon, aren't I?

It's OK, The British Big Cats Will Get Them All...

Police are investigating I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!...

Well, it's about time! For crimes against entertainment?

...over concerns non-native wildlife could have escaped into the Welsh countryside during bushtucker trials, the Guardian can reveal.

Oh... 

Authorities are investigating ITV after complaints by the TV presenter and naturalist Iolo Williams, who was appalled after watching the show last week and seeing thousands of cockroaches being poured over contestants.

Williams said: “Cockroaches are the ultimate survivors, and if they survive in north Wales and escape into the wild there, what effect are they going to have? I don’t know, nobody knows … I just find it incredible that they’re allowed to do this, and I’m not being a killjoy here. Why not use fish guts, or offal?”

I have to say, if the Welsh countryside can be 'threatened by cockroaches', it's doomed... 

Natural Resources Wales, which gives out licences for the release of species, did not receive an application from ITV to release non-native species. If these species have been released without a licence it would be a breach of the Wildlife and Countryside Act.

A spokesperson for north Wales police said: “The matter is being investigated by officers from our rural crime team.”

I would love to see this in one of those fly-on-the-wall police documentaries in the future... 

Mankind Cannot Bear Too Much Reality TV...

Cancel culture is like the Terminator. It just keeps coming...

The long-running TV show Cops, one of the first shows to expose an American audience to law enforcement in the field, has been cancelled by the Paramount Network after 32 seasons.

The network removed the show from its schedule amid protests sparked by the police killing of George Floyd.

I guess it won't be long before 'Police Interceptors' and other reality shows here in the UK come under fire too.

Cops, which debuted in 1989, had one of the longest runs in American television history and sparked a number of similar programs.

The show faced criticism over the years from those who said the program glorified police aggression and profited from suspects’ misfortune.

It also showed pretty accurately who it is that commits crime. Which is, I suspect, its worst failing in the eyes of progressives...

In 2013, the civil rights group Color of Change began a campaign urging Fox to not renew the show and called on advertisers to withdraw support.

In a series of tweets on Tuesday evening, the group applauded the decision to cancel the show.

“Crime TV plays a significant role in advancing distorted representations of crime, justice, race & gender within culture & #Cops led the way, pushing troubling implications for generations of viewers,” the organization said in a statement attributed to Arisha Michelle, its vice-president and chief of campaigns.

As I figured.

The English Language Means Nothing Anymore...

TV dating show fans have begged for producers to intervene after a contestant was branded “dangerous”.

Oh, good lord! It's not another dig at a man who likes to indulge in a hobby the progressives don't care for, is it?

Are they now claiming he's one step away from going full-on 'Most Dangerous Game' and tracking his fellow contestants with a view to putting their heads on a wall (I might actually watch it if that's the case...)..?

Oh, no, wait, they must have another victim, since he's been hounded off. So, who is it this time?

Fans called for Connor Durman to be removed from Love Island after an expletive-laden rant on Friday night. Coffee bean salesman and part-time naked butler Connor said he felt “f***ing uncomfortable” after his love interest in the show Sophie Piper paid compliments to fellow contestants.

And...wait, how is that 'dangerous'?

Fans were shocked by his outburst, with many viewers taking to social media pleading with the show bosses to remove Connor, of Worthing, due to his “dangerous” tendencies.

WTAF?

Connor had already apologised for his controlling behaviour in the show last week.

Bad move. You can't appease people like this. You shouldn't even try.

Fans shared their concerns when he lost his temper with Sophie after she celebrated the arrival of two new boys into the TV dating show’s villa. Connor, 25, said he felt “mugged off” by her reaction and pulled the 21-year-old aside to “speak to her”.

She explained she had only been “joking with the girls”. But Connor failed to see the funny side as Sophie was chosen by new boy, 6ft 3in model Connagh Howard, to go for a date and later shared a smooch with him in a game of “beer pong dares”.

Fans called the behaviour “controlling” with one viewer saying: “Connor is so controlling having the audacity to talk to Sophie like that, I’m fuming.”

The future of mankind is doomed, if these morons are representative of the next generation...

Crank Letters...

Chris Packham has criticised ITV for putting profit ahead of 'environmental morals' as he backed calls for an alleged trophy hunter to be axed from Love Island.

Oliver Williams, 23, was pictured smiling by the carcasses of a warthog, water buffalo (Ed: *rolls eyes*) and sable antelope in Africa.

I guess you don't feel as positive and optimistic then..?

Packham has previously railed against ITV for using animals for entertainment and successfully campaigned to ban the eating of live insects on I'm A Celebrity.

'They've never replied to any of my letters,' Packham said of ITV executives.

Heh! I can just imagine the scene: "Tarquin, we've got another one - different shade of green ink, but I recognise the handwriting...""

He added that killing a warthog for conservation is 'nonsensical' as the species does not qualify as threatened, near-threatened or conservation dependent.

Then it's fair game, surely?