It’s Not 'Jurassic Park', But I'll Take It...

Colossal Biosciences, the company trying to resurrect the woolly mammoth, has set its sights on another extinct animal – the bluebuck. This species of antelope thrived in Southern Africa until just 230 years ago, when it was hunted to extinction for its unique silvery slate–blue skin.

Yes, Reader, if the name rings a bell, it is indeed the same company that attempted to convince the world they had recreated an extinct dire wolf a while ago. But there’s better basis for belief this time: 

The company plans to modify the genes of the bluebuck's living relatives – the roan and sable antelopes – to make a hybrid that closely resembles the extinct species.

Two of the worlds most striking antelope species, and two personal favourites of mine, though sadly rarely seen in captivity in UK zoos, with the exception of Marwell, which has a small herd of roan, and had sable years ago, when I first visited.

Although Colossal Biosciences doesn't have a timeline for the species' return, it is working to find 'rewilding' sites in South Africa where the bluebuck could be released.

Those techniques will not only be useful for bringing back the bluebuck, but also in aiding conservation projects for antelopes currently on the brink of extinction.

And I for one wish them well in this latest endeavour. 

Monkey Business...

An ex-keeper is suing Edinburgh Zoo bosses over alleged discrimination and "humiliation" she faced at work as a result of her ADHD. Lisa O'Hare appeared at the Edinburgh Employment Tribunal on December 1.She claimed she was subjected to "degrading" treatment and "excessive scrutiny" aimed at "constructing a case against" her. Ms O'Hara resigned from her post in February 2025 after starting in the role less than a year prior in April 2024.

It should be an open and shut case, because she sounds like a fucking nightmare to have had to work witrh, but you never know with tribunals... 

Ms O'Hara was assigned to care for primates at Edinburgh Zoo and the court heard she had difficulty identifying individual capuchin monkeys due to her ADHD, which her superior took issue with.

Zoo bosses claimed identifying individual animals is a vital part of a keeper's job to ensure animal health and wellbeing.

Why do I suspect that the welfare of the animals will take second place when the 'disability' card is played? With the tribunal, anyway, the zoo management and her workmates thankfully weren't happy to put up with it. 

Court documents showed Callum Gibson, Ms O'Hara's superior, said: "You have to start taking responsibility for yourself with training. It is not the rest of the team's responsibility to help you with this. There is only so much I can do to support this before you need to take ownership and communicate with others".

Ms O'Hara told the court: "I just didn't feel, given how it was a particular problem for my disability" how there couldn't be more flexibility, adding: "I felt it was unequally applied to me than others" and "there were other individuals" on the team who could identify the capuchins.

Maybe there were, but it was YOUR JOB to do so, not theirs!

She also alleged her colleague Kenna Valles repeatedly made critical statements regarding her timekeeping ability. In one instance, documents showed Ms Valles allegedly said "I'm just waiting on Lisa" in a "sardonic" tone. Ms O'Hara felt this showed her co-worker was "outwardly expressing annoyance with my disability and related difficulties with timekeeping" and "mocking my disability [and related issues] with timekeeping and hyper focus" resulting in "negative treatment and frustrations".

Are the other employees supposed to put up with someone who is continually later for work then? 

A solicitor representing the Royal Zoological Society of Scotland, owners of the zoo, mentioned that five employees had lodged complaints against Ms O'Hara.

Seems they weren't prepared to, yet they didn't have a Disability Card to wave.

What's Wrong With The Danes?

A zoo in Denmark is asking for donations of small pets as food for its predators. 

Good grief, we stopped this nonsense back in  the 18th century!

The Aalborg zoo said it is trying to mimic the natural food chain of the animals housed there "for the sake of both animal welfare and professional integrity" and offers assurances the pets will be "gently euthanized" by trained staff. The zoo in northern Denmark explained in a Facebook post that "if you have a healthy animal that needs to be given away for various reasons, feel free to donate it to us." The zoo points to guinea pigs, rabbits and chickens as possible donations. After being euthanized, the animals will be used as fodder, the zoo said.

How will they be euthanised? No journaliist appears to have asked that question? Most modern methods - as I pointed out at Tim's -  that people would expect would render the carcasses inedible due to the chemicals used. So the 'gentle euthanasia' the zoo promises is a lie. Oh, if only we had journalists who were capable of more than just regurgitating press releases...

And what pet owner wouldn't be present when their pet is euthanised? 

H/T : Blinky via Twitter

Why So Coy?

 What animal was it? We aren't told! 

A spokesperson for Queensland ambulance said the woman suffered a “significant arm injury”.In a statement on Facebook on Sunday afternoon, the Darling Downs Zoo said the woman was watching keepers working in the carnivore precinct when the attack happened.“This is something that she has done many, many times over the past 20 years. She is well versed in safety protocols around potentially dangerous animals. “Inexplicably, at this stage, one animal grabbed her by one arm and caused severe damage to it. At no stage did this animal leave [its] enclosure and there was no risk at all to staff members or members of the public.”

Quitre bizarre! Clearly, there's only one explanation, taking our clues from human crime journalism - it must have been a black panther! 

Update: they’ve now admitted it was a lion. But why not say that to start with?

The Weather Might Be, But The Population Is Starting To Resemble Them More

Although we are trying to replicate Uganda and Kenya we are actually in Cheshire so the weather is slightly different,” admits Chester zoo boss, Jamie Christon, on a fresh and very grey Monday morning.

This is what they were building when I visited Chester for a long weekend last year. It's a breathtaking undertaking, huge in scope, and the zoo itself was already massive. Also absolutely the best zoo in the UK. 

But ignore the chilliness and screw your eyes and you could well be transported to a sweeping African savannah where, one day, there will be giraffes, zebras, antelopes and ostriches roaming majestically side by side. Christon is speaking at the launch of the UK’s biggest ever such zoo development – a £28m facility called Heart of Africa. It covers just over 9 hectares (22.5 acres) and is home to 57 African species including vultures, rhinos, a colony of naked mole rats and 15,000 locusts.

Chester was a lovely town, but already beginning to show signs that the diversity is heading its way... 

Nice Try, Rosie, But Surely The Essence Of Good PR Is....

...not making your clients look unprofessional?

It's home to over 200 animals, ranging from giraffes to cheetahs. But despite this extensive collection, keepers at Bristol Zoo Project have been left baffled by one mysterious creature. The four-legged animal was caught on a night vision camera in the Bear Wood habitat.

Baffled? I could have told you what it was. Every gamekeeper and deerstalker and farmer in the country could have told you what it was. But Rosie struggles on gamely: 

...the confused keepers say it's 'like nothing they have spotted before.'

'The sighting of this mythical-like creature is a mystery to us here at Bristol Zoo Project,' said Rosie Sims, Public Engagement Manager at Bristol Zoo Project.

'Scotland has the Loch Ness monster and Cornwall has the Beast of Bodmin Moor. 'Have we discovered a similar mythical here in Bristol perhaps?'

No, and your keepers should hand in their licences to work at a zoo if they really can't identify a muntjac. 

Of course, that's not what happened, this is a story designed to publicise the zoo by being picked up by a supine MSM who'll print any old press release without stopping to think how likely it is... 

To get to the bottom of it, MailOnline turned to the AI bot, ChatGPT. We uploaded a photo of the creature and asked ChatGPT: 'What animal is this?'

Within seconds, the AI bot responded: 'The animal in the image appears to be a muntjac, also known as a barking deer.'

Imagine being thrashed at animal recognition by 'Mail' journalists...!  

End Of An Era...

Bristol Zoo has provided animal magic to its visitors for 186 years – so successfully, in fact, that it even became the setting for the TV show of the same name.

But now – after welcoming 90million people and having saved 175 species from extinction through its conservation work – it is to close for good.

What a shame. I visited this about 20 years ago, and it was a fabulous zoo, on a par with London zoo as it is now.  

Its animals will go to a new zoo at Bristol Zoological Society’s Wild Place Project near the city after it shuts on September 3.

Well, at least that's something... 

Parts of the site will become housing... 

To squeeze humans into spaces so small, if the former site inhabitants were housed there, the protestors would never leave! 

...but the gardens will remain open to the public.

Dr Justin Morris, the society’s chief executive, said: ‘This is our legacy. They will remain an important destination for people to visit and enjoy.’

Until they become a litter-strewn spot for drug deals, that is.

The money from the sale will pay for the new Bristol Zoo, which is due to open in 2024.

Wait, where will the animals go in the intervening year and a bit? 

See Naples And Die...If You're A Captive Zoo Tiger

In a statement announcing Eko’s arrival to the zoo last February, the zoo called Eko “a great ambassador for his species”.

It added: “When guests see him, we hope they fall in love and want to learn how they can do their part to save his cousins in the wild.”

Well, they can request that trigger-happy Yank cops be kept out of the zoo, and zoo staff be the ones to react to any accident caused by mouthbreathing idiots who decide to stick their hands in the cage. They might just have the sense to reach for a fire extinguisher rather than a gun...

The Rewilding Enthusiasts Must Be Fuming...

Two female brown bears have been shot and killed at Whipsnade Zoo in Bedfordshire after they escaped from their enclosure when strong winds toppled a tree.

The zoo’s chief curator, Malcolm Fitzpatrick, said in a statement that the tree fell in such a way that it formed a “bridge” between the brown bears’ pen and the fence of the neighbouring wild boar enclosure.

If I had my way, he'd be the ex-chief curator. 

This was a totally foreseeable accident; no trees capable of forming such a bridge should they fall should ever be near the inside or outside of an enclosure, and when high winds are forecast (as they were on this day), enclosures should automatically be checked for security. 

The two bears crossed into the enclosure, where they attacked a male boar. Fitzpatrick said the zookeepers had no choice but to euthanise the bears over concerns of an “immediate threat to human life”.

“As brown bears are strong and dangerous predators, our first priority is safety – we must quickly make decisions informed by our experience and expertise to protect our people, guests and our other animals,” he said.“No one wants to be the one to make that call, but when there’s an immediate threat to human life, the decision is made for you. ”

There's more than animal lovers who are going to be very, very unhappy about this, though. There's the enthusiasts for 'rewilding', who clearly want to see these 'threats to life' introduced:

If you go down in the woods today...

“We’ve managed to put a man on the moon, I don’t see why we can’t get wolves back in Scotland,” says Lister. Bears would also learn to specialise in killing deer, he believes, and would be an even more dramatic pull for visitors than wolves.

Maybe not, Mr Lister, maybe not... 

We Had To Destroy The Enclosure In Order To Save It...

Technical director of the zoo, Mads Frost Bertelsen, said: 'We are constantly checking our facilities, both out of consideration for the animals and with a view to the guest experience.

'The wolf enclosure was 40 years old and long ago no longer met the requirements that are made today in animal welfare.

'Therefore the facility had to be closed so that we can create a new and more modern area. Since we couldn't put the zoo's three male wolfs (sic) anywhere else, we had to kill them. '

Of course, it's Copenhagen Zoo again.

The zoo has said brown bears will also disappear in order to create more space for the more popular polar bears.

That sounds unnecessarily sinister... 

Maybe The Female Of The Species Is More At Risk Than The Male?

Shocked Zoo Zurich visitors have witnessed a woman being attacked and mauled to death by a Siberian tiger.

Swiss authorities are investigating why the zookeeper and the tiger were inside the enclosure at the same time.

Another zookeeper death, and it struck me that all of the last ones I can remember were women.

Rosa King, Stacey Konwiser, Samantha Kudeweh, unknown Spanish keeper, Kristen Hayden-Ortega - all women. All killed by tigers.

The rare exception that I could find being Akira Furusho.

A statistical blip, or is there something more to it?

I'll Help: It's Because It's A Crocodile!

Zoo Director Alex Rubel said the reason for the animal's aggressive behaviour has not been established.

I mean, is it me, or...?

The incident took place last Monday when the female zookeeper entered the animal's enclosure to clean it, according to local media reports.

The keeper tried to remove the male crocodile from the pen when the animal clamped its teeth around her hand and held it for several minutes.

Why on earth would anyone put their hand near a crocodile's jaws? What sort of zoo protocol are they running there?

A female of the same species still lives in Zurich Zoo, Rubel said, but officials have not yet decided whether the zoo will look for a new male.

Which responsible zoo would send you one?

"...handsome, confident...known for being very affectionate with the ladies in his life..."

No, not the latest chav on chav killing, though you could be forgiven for thinking that. This is London Zoo's bungled attempt to bring in a new breeding male.

Asim - whose name means 'Protector' in Arabic - had been matched with Melati through the European Endangered Species Programme for Sumatran tigers.

Oh, well, I suppose if the current match wasn't working out, then they had no ch...

Wait, hang on a tick.

The 10-year-old female had had three litters with her former mate, Jae Jae...

Who has now been moved to a French park. Let's hope he fancies his new dates, eh?

And if this wasn't such a horrible and unnecessary situation, I might be tempted to point out yet another European scheme promising to make things so much better, while in reality making them irreparably worse...

It Certainly Was For The Wolf!

A spokesman said:"What happened Monday is really a one-time incident."

Ummm, yeah. So far.

Stunned zookeepers say they have no idea why the bears attacked.

Oooh, ooh, I know! It's because they're bears!

Dierenrijk Zoo management is not really helping the image of zoos around the world, in their reaction to this totally unavoidable incident.

"The animals are put together to challenge them like this to play with each other."

WTAF?

"It's a piece of enrichment for the animal kingdom. The animals have always lived in good harmony with each other."

Sure. Right up until the point that they don't. And then, because they are in an enclosed space, there's nowhere to flee.

"It's always gone well. We decided years ago to put the wolves and brown bears together. That's good for the animals and we also see no reason to break them up now."

'Hey, look, we engineered the death of an animal through bad planning and starry-eyed ideas, but that's no reason we should change anything now, is it?'

I'm very glad these arrogant morons aren't in charge of something crucial, like an airline or nuclear power station.

Use Enough Gun

The Norfolk and Suffolk forces have revealed they have “measures in place in the event of large animals escaping from Banham Zoo or Africa Alive”.

In a joint response to a request under the Freedom of Information (FOI) Act, they said: “Suffolk and Norfolk constabularies own a high-powered rifle and suitable ammunition for dispatching large, thick-skinned animals.”

So the police have bought themselves a .375, have they? They don't reveal the make, but since the taxpayer's on the hook for it, I expect it's a top-of-the-range Holland & Holland...

But aren't zoos required, as part of their licence conditions, to have firearms on site? Why can't the police rely on these?

Depending on the level of threat to the public, the zoos would work closely with Norfolk and Suffolk Police, who both share a high-powered rifle with 0.375 calibre ammunition - around a centimetre thick - to shoot large, thick-skinned animals such as white rhinos and Congo buffalo.

Wait, who owns this gun? The zoo, or the local plod?

Insp Nick Russell said the rifle was a relatively new purchase made around three/four years ago and that all rifle officers have specific training for shooting animals. 

The Yorkshire police farces could not be reached for comment!

“We didn’t have anything sufficient to deal with rhinos,” Insp Russell added.

You could always ask the Labour Party conference chairman what precautions they take should Diane Abbott ever refuse to leave the buffet...

Ronald Reagan Was Wrong...

...it's actually ten most terrifying words in the English language: "I'm from the local council and I'm here to help.

"In a statement late on Sunday, the council said Lillith was "not afraid of humans" and had entered a populated area, and the shooting had been approved by the police, Welsh government and chief veterinary officer for Wales.

A council spokeswoman said: "It was not possible to assess the condition or temperament of the lynx but there were concerns about its likely behavioural response if it was startled or inadvertently confronted by a member of the public, especially by a young child."

Well, yes, sad, but animals are unpredictable, and no-one had any reason to thi...

Oh. Hang on:

"When we got there the caravan was boarded in on three sides with decking and all we had to do was sling a net across the back and we would have had her trapped," a park spokesman said on Saturday.

"Unfortunately, one of the officials insisted that he needed to photograph her and make a positive ID before we were allowed close.

"He slipped and fell going up the bank which startled her, causing her to run past him and off across the fields."

Perhaps she realised public sector employees are bitter & foul-tasting, unlike plump Welsh kiddiewinks?