Tuesday, 21 September 2010

RT @PC99 ‘Ello, ‘ello’, ‘ello… < THIS!

Beat constables are being issued with costly mobile phones so they can send messages to residents on Twitter.

Up to 80 neighbourhood officers will use BlackBerry devices to ‘tweet’ or send messages about crimes on their patch.
I’m in two minds about this – on the one hand, it’ll be quite interesting to watch this experiment with social media unfold, but on the other…
The £150 phones will also allow them to carry out spot checks on suspects and vehicles.
Surely, that’s what their radios are for?Are they therefore going to carry the Blackberries as well? Just how much more equipment are they supposed to burden themselves with?
The initiative comes from Greater Manchester Police, which this week announced it could lose up to 1,500 officers through budget cuts.
Of course, this money will come from a different budget to that for staff salaries.

The police aren’t exactly overwhelmed by the opportunity, as you might imagine:
One officer, who did not want to be named, said: ‘I find these BlackBerry phones impossible to work when I’m at home.

'I can’t imagine how I’m supposed to be typing and walking on patrol at the same time.

‘We will have to stop whatever we should be doing to type. I can’t see who will be interested to read them.

'The point of social networking is it is a social thing. Who wants to hear gossip from your local bobby?’

Another said: ‘It does not look very professional walking around typing.’
So, will they think again? Of course not!
But Kevin Hoy, the force’s web manager, said: ‘Twitter will become the main network for the force and new local Twitter channels will be set up in the neighbourhoods throughout the autumn.

‘These will allow dedicated officers to tweet from the frontline, keeping local communities up to date on issues that affect them.’
OK, firstly, ‘Twitter channels’..? Does he mean accounts?

Secondly, only the people with Twitter who bother to follow these cops will be kept up to date. What percentage of the local population will that be, I wonder?

And what percentage of the wider population who'll do so just for giggles? Like me! :)


Smoking Hot said...

One hopes the criminal fraternity will follow suit :)

Akvavitix said...

You can imagine the pencil necked dork that came up with this latest wheeze.

Blindly forgetting we have had a change of government and we don't have bullshit like a Twatter Tsar anymore (Thank fuck), this blithering little moron, with a perma dew drop hanging out of his nose and the coat hanger still in his shirt to keep his bloody puny little shoulders apart proposes a way of "modernising" police communications and increasing their appeal to the yoof.

The hierarchy, anxious to improve their diversity tickbox point count agree to sack a few officers to fund Blackberry contracts instead.


Old BE said...

It would be laughable if it wasn't so plausible.

Bucko said...

It would be funny if Twitter banned all local police forces from their services for being cunts

Clarissa said...

I'm sure that anyone intent on carrying out a piece of premeditated property crime in the GMP area will find this rather useful.

Indyanhat said...

How long before they are being mugged for their phones I wonder?

ninjaguardsheep said...

You can access twitter from any mobile phone which can access the web, you don't need £150 worth of Blackberry.

Quiet_Man said...

I don't use twitter, I don't see the point, this wont make me use it either.

RantinRab said...

manc_cop. Remember to lock up all sheds and outbuildings.

rantinrab. @manc_cop go fuck yourself you state sponsored thug.

Could be fun! (If I still had a twatter account).

RAB said...

I generally find, having worked closely with the police at certain times in my life, that the ordinary front line ones (when you can find one) are reasonably sane, but yes it is the pencil necked (damn fine rant there Akva!) senior management that are off with the fairies.

I dont Twitter. I have a mobile but I dont even know how to text. Where are the buggers going to get my number from anyway? Only 6 people have it.

In my neck of the woods, if someone gets burgled we all get to know about it pretty sharpish. It's called being neighbourly.

The police have completely lost the plot.

The other day my wife parked the car and went to do some shopping. When she got back there was this bloody big notice stuck to the windscreen saying that they had noticed there was a "Something" in the back seat that might entice a thief and it should be removed or put in the boot out of sight (It was a carton of beer covered by a blanket).

Thanks a bunch Plod. Adverise that our car may well be worth breaking into, why doncha!

Utter fuckin wankers!

Ranter said...

I just couldn't read it all. I mean? Uuuh, what? How can they justify it and why? Aaarrrggghhhh.
Surely the web geek is just trying to justify his role....and failing spectacularly!

Captain Haddock said...

Here's a little "something" for the numpties, masquerading as Senior "Management" in Greater Manchester Police to have a think about ..


Macheath said...


I can't wait for the security furore that will inevitably erupt when one of these precious blackberries ends up in the wrong hands.

Indyanhat said...

@Macheath, which will be at the moment they are issued, methinks!

JuliaM said...

"One hopes the criminal fraternity will follow suit.."

That would really be awesome!

"Blindly forgetting we have had a change of government..."

I think, to them, we haven't. They consider this a temporary setback, at most.

"I'm sure that anyone intent on carrying out a piece of premeditated property crime in the GMP area will find this rather useful."

Bet the idiots Tweet with their location!

"Thanks a bunch Plod. Adverise that our car may well be worth breaking into, why doncha!"

I thought they'd given this up?