Maybe It's Because He's A ....Wait, A 'Londoner'?

A Londoner accused of leaving crack cocaine and cannabis in a Pinehurst shop claimed the drugs were not his...

Oh, sure, that old chestnut.

...as he had robbed them from a dealer.

Oh. Well, that's different!

The 38-year-old Brit from Richmond-upon-Thames, who joked he was from Jamaica when asked his nationality by a court clerk, told JPs as he was marched from the dock: “12 weeks? That’s nothing. That’s a swim in the ocean.”

Perhaps that's what he should have been sentenced to...?

Randall declined the services of a duty solicitor, instead opting to represent himself.

And he did indeed have a fool for a client!

By admitting to the drugs and assault offences, Randall automatically activated an eight week suspended sentence given last November for a stalking offence.

He sounds quite a bit like this chap. 

H/T: wiggia via email