Saturday 1 June 2019

What Don't You Understand, Alan..?

Alan suspects they used a hi-tech gadget to clone his keyless signal as there was no broken glass at the scene. The thieves also made off with his iPod and £,1000 worth of golf clubs.
The 68-year-old added: “I’ve been left completely frustrated because I can’t walk very far due to health reasons and I need a car.”
Help me out here, readers! Doesn't golf entail some walking...?
“I’m having to pay just over £2,000 with my excess and replacing everything in the car all because my car was stolen and that’s what annoys me because it’s through no fault of my own.
The police haven’t shown much interest, but I’m sure if £23,000 was stolen from a bank they would soon be quick to investigate. I don’t understand it.”
Yes, Alan, they are terrible aren't they, those Essex Police?

Say, what did you do before you retired?
Alan Jones, a former Essex Police officer...
*blinks*

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Unbelievable. Those Essex neuron pathways and Jaded fasciculi.

Stonyground said...

Just because he used to work for them shouldn't exclude him from calling them out for being shit.

Anonymous said...

The answer is simple. Don't buy a keyless entry/start car. If enough people tell their dealers they will not buy one of these "Come and steal me" motors, it will filter up to the car manufacturers and they will then, hopefully, devise a more secure system. Either that, or give a free krooklok type bar for the steering wheel with every keyless entry car. However, with the time taken to lock or unlock it,you may as well use your car key. not all 'progress' is beneficial.
Penseivat

Simon Cooke said...


Or just maybe our ex-copper didn't lock his car?

JuliaM said...

"Just because he used to work for them shouldn't exclude him from calling them out for being shit."

No, but it does rather make one wonder about blind spots...

"The answer is simple. Don't buy a keyless entry/start car."

Or make it more secure. Should we give up all new inventions at the first hurdle?

"Or just maybe our ex-copper didn't lock his car?"

That's a possibility too!