"Ah, Plucky Little Ukraine..!"

Wait, what..?

A list passed to this newspaper by a Kyiv government source identifies 29 such retribution killings, with 13 more assassination attempts that left some targets wounded.

Well, hopefully the Ukrainian government will get a grip on such war crimes. After all, they won't want to show they are just like their Russian enemy, will they? 

‘A hunt has been declared on collaborators and their life is not protected by law,’ said Anton Gerashchenko, an adviser to the interior ministry.

‘Our intelligence services are eliminating them, shooting them like pigs.’

Oh... 

Well, hopefully they won't do it with anything we've sent them? Because they would make us complicit, wouldn't it?

Is It My Birthday..?

Dangerous dogs and careless cyclists? Truly, my cup runneth over!

The victim, a woman in her 40s, was taken to hospital with serious leg injuries after the incident in Lancaster on 5 May. She told police she had been involved in an argument with a man who accused her of almost knocking into his child.

Any evidence that's true?

It occurred shortly after the victim was forced to brake to avoid a woman and child.

Ah. Awkward! 

No arrest has been made but police are appealing for information in an attempt to identify the dog walker, believed to be in his early 30s.

The man is described as white, 5ft 9in to 5ft 10in and of a slim build, with brown short back and sides hair. He was not wearing a top at the time of the incident.

Chavilicious! 

Hey Biden, If You're Looking For War Crimes...

...look no further:

...footage emerged of a group six Russian soldiers calling President Vladimir Putin a 'd**khead' on the orders of their Ukrainian captors and declaring they did not want to go to war after surrendering south of Chernihiv.

The group, lead by Major Viktor Blyudin, was a reconnaissance team located in the forest near to the town of Sribne in the southern part of Chernihiv oblast. They surrendered on March 14 to civilians in Sribne after learning that a neighbouring Russian cohort was killed, according to Sribnyanshchyna newspaper which posted a video of the soldiers on Facebook.

In the video, several of the soldiers can be heard repeating after their Ukrainian captors: 'Putin is a d**khead', before asking the people of Ukraine for forgiveness and telling their family and friends that they are being treated well.

Hmmm, what does the Geneva Convention say about the treatment of PoWs?

They are protected against any act of violence, as well as against intimidation, insults, and public curiosity.

Awkward! 

Whoops, Eh, Hugh..?

Perennial race-baiter Hugh Muir, in the 'Guardian':

Days after Azeem Rafiq revealed the torment he faced as an Asian player, the situation at Yorkshire cricket club looks no better.

It's OK, Hugh, that's certainly not all we're thinking about now:

We're thinking about anti-semitism too! 

Oh, that wasn't what you meant?

Err, Yes, And..?

via GIPHY

Still Feel Like Clapping Them...?

Hospitals may have broken the law by sending patients with Covid-19 back to care homes without telling their managers they had the virus. The Care Quality Commission (CQC) has been told that several hospitals returned people despite suspecting – or even knowing – they were infected.

Tragically, these patients triggered outbreaks in the homes, claiming the lives of other vulnerable residents.

Staff at the care homes would have not realised they had the virus so may not have been wearing adequate protective clothing or taken other infection control precautions.

The lawsuits that will come out of this will be massive. Can we at least find out which are the guilty parties?

The CQC would not disclose the names nor the locations of those hospitals accused of failing to inform care home staff that patients had coronavirus.

*sighs*

The Department of Health issued separate guidance on April 2 that negative tests were ‘not required’ before discharging people into a care home.

That 'world class civil service', folks! 

How'd You Like That Sauce, Ganders...?

Is it tasty?

Six months following the protest, the chain's sales dropped by more than nine per cent and owners of franchises in predominantly white suburbs began to lose money and sell off their restaurants.

The company’s chief operating officer, Mark Farrelly, said in an interview during the height of the boycott that they were facing right-wing backlash'.

The boycott is the favoured weapon of the Left, isn't it? Protesting in this way is a weapon both sides can use.

I wonder if Spurs sells popcorn?

Who Is More Important?

People with 'learning difficulties'?

Essex County Council created an Easy Read version of its survey asking residents what they think of proposals to close a third of libraries in the next five years.

“This image was specifically chosen to help communicate with people with learning disabilities.”

Or the 'transgender community'?

Save our Libraries Essex campaigner Liz Miles, from Wivenhoe, complained to the council. She said: “The clip art image is discriminatory and deeply offensive.

“It is a shockingly negative and inaccurate image, showing a person who appears to be miserable and confused, but on closer inspection is a man removing a wig.”

There's only one way to find out, isn't there? Oh, wait!

“We are sorry for any offence caused. We listened to feedback and the image is being removed.”

/golfclap

Crying Wolf At A Chihuahua...

Matt Dent, Labour councillor for Kursaal took to Twitter to voice his concerns.

He said on Twitter: “I've received alarming reports of posters for a far-right political group cropping up in locations around Southend, particularly on the Woodgrange Estate in Kursaal ward.”

*gasps*

“The emergence of divisive, hate-fuelled far-right politics in our communities is something we have to be eternally vigilant against. We need unity, not division, and cannot allow one group to be played against another, along fictitious and imaginary lines.”

So what's on these horrible, awful, no good posters?

"Bring the dog and kids build a kite and play games with the team"

*squints*

"We have far too many crimes not being investigated while the police chase hate crime."

Ummm....

"We give away billions in foreign aid to other countries while our's fall apart"

Apart from the grocer's apostrophe, it's, well, not exactly rabble-rousing material, is it?

A For Britain Movement spokesman said: "It is a shame that this Councillor, like so many, chooses to make wild statements without any basis in fact.

"For Britain was founded by an ex Labour Party member that worked for the NHS, and even a cursory glance at the party manifesto would see policies that in the majority are left leaning. As a party we typically appeal to traditional Labour voters.”

Ah. The sort that might decide to switch allegiance from Corbyn's Labour, in other words.

And after all, that's a fear of the very man now denouncing them. What changed his mind, I wonder?

In This Story, The Only One I Feel Sorry For Is The Dog...

Kyle Samuels, 29, confronted Sophie Redshaw at Manchester Airport as she walked through the arrivals hall after her flight from Ibiza had landed.

He claimed Miss Redshaw had agreed to look after his pet only to then fly out to the Balearic Islands.

And the natural reaction is to spit in her face.

Samuels, from Sale, Greater Manchester was arrested after being chased by police through a car park.

And the other worthless waste of oxygen?

It is not known whether Miss Redshaw underwent any medical tests following the incident last July 23.

I presume one was a test for brain function. To see how a dim chav could think it was sensible to hook up with another dim chav.

In a statement she said: 'I want him out of my life, he makes it a misery. I am always scared at what he is going to do.'

Which is why you promised to look after his beloved dog then promptly flew off to Chav Disneyland?

In mitigation defence lawyer Jon Mail, said: 'He was contacted by mutual friends and told that his dog was left alone - that's how he found out. The complainant had told him that she wasn't abroad, she was in Salford.

'This was an angry reaction on his behalf that the dog had left alone and he totally accepts that this was wrong of him. He has no intention of getting back the dog, as far as he is concerned the complainant can have it.'

Pity the RSPCA didn't get their hands on the poor animal...