”This, Right Here, Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things…!”

A £3,000 blank wall built for teenage graffiti artists by a council was painted by a disgruntled taxpayer with the slogan: "I paid my tax and all I got was this lousy wall".

The 6ft high by 30ft long wall was installed so youths could practice their graffiti artwork without vandalising local property.

But ahead of its opening on October 31 a fed-up resident sneaked behind a security fence and daubed a protest about the use of taxpayer's money.

Please excuse any misspellings in this post. It’s hard to type this, as I’m trying desperately to wipe the tears of mirth from my eyes…

The wall, in Wadebridge, Cornwall, was funded by Wadebridge Town Council, Wadebridge Town Forum and North Cornwall District Council.

It was built in the town's Jubilee Park and was the brainchild of Sergeant Robin Moorcroft who has vowed to investigate the graffiti.

So, a policeman thought this up? As part of a cunning plan to lure vandals to the wall, arrest and then charge them? Or obtain samples of their handiwork for forensic analysis and later action? Good going, Sgt Moorcroft!

Oh.

Wait…

He said it is "ironic" because most of the cost was subsidised by local businesses who supplied free materials and labour.

"The ironic thing is that the wall has been built thanks to the generosity of local people giving time and resources for free," he said.

"But it is now going to cost the taxpayer, as we will have to crime it, investigate it and paint over it.

Sorry..? Did I read that right?

‘Most’ of the resources were donated, so it’s ok that the rest was not, and that this barmy plan got off the ground in the first place?

You now have to ‘paint over it’ so the vandals have a pristine blank canvas again? Why, will it put them off their artistic stroke if you don’t?

It was put up for the ‘free expression’ of vandals, but the ‘free expression’ of a taxpayer fed up with the people paid to prevent this sort of behaviour pandering to criminals is suddenly a heinous crime deserving of your time?

Now I truly understand the expression ‘going native’. Sgt Moorcroft doesn’t belong in uniform:

"We have been working hard to try to provide something positive for the community and this coward and their juvenile delinquent act has set a terrible example to the youth of the town.

"All residents were given the opportunity to raise objections during the planning process. This person could have come and spoken to us instead of committing this petty act.

"To paint graffiti on the wall and remain anonymous shows this person has no courage, I would have more respect if he or she came forward and admitted responsibility."

Have I fallen down the rabbit hole? This self-satisfied, public-pensioned, oh-so-right-on little creep is whining that his grand plan to provide free space for vandals has been ‘ruined’ by someone else painting on the bloody wall put up for the vandals to paint on…?

But one resident added: "I suppose you could say the writing is on the wall. People around here think the money could be better spent on more worthy projects.

"It seems like an awful waste of time and money - especially during a credit crunch."

In other words – “Shove off, Sgt Moorcroft, and take your trendy ideas with you. Do the job you’re paid to do. Hint: that isn’t to be a ‘youth advocate’.’