Sunday 13 June 2010

'Experts' vs 'Ordinary Folk'

It doesn't always go the way you'd expect:
Rosemary Howat, of Livingstone Road, Hove, said a pair of birds had started attacking her after building a nest in her garden, even though she has been taking care of them.

Ms Howat said: “It’s got to the point where I can’t go outside in case they come at me.

“I need to get a hard hat to protect my head when I hang out my washing.

My cat is scared to go outside because they keep trying to attack it, but I know they are just trying to protect their chicks.”
Indeed. Perfectly normal, happens every year when they have nests to protect. It's not like it's some weird 'The Birds'-style Hitchcockian mystery, is it?

Oh:
Conservation experts say the birds have become “abnormally aggressive” in reaction to poor treatment by people in Peacehaven.
Oh, FFS..!
The National Gull Rescue And Protection group said there had been dozens of calls about birds injured by people in the town in the past couple of weeks.

It said the gulls had been attacking residents after roofs were cleared of nests, eggs smashed and birds shot.

Tim McKenzie, from the charity, said: “We are getting more crimes against gulls in Peacehaven than the rest of the towns along the South Coast put together.

“Part of the problem is the birds have become abnormally aggressive there but it is a defensive action.”
*grinds teeth*

12 comments:

JohnRS said...

Today several officials of the National Gull Rescue And Protection Group were found with their heads nailed to coffee tables.

Dinsdale Piranha, a local businessman said, "Citizens have become abnormally agressive in reaction to poor treatment from a multitude of quangos."

Jiks said...

Firstly, love this is happening in Peacehaven. I'd dread to think what is going down in Gravesend, zombie Resident Evil 3-style crow attacks presumably.

"Peacehaven's seagulls are dive-bombing and attacking humans after a spate of bird shootings"

Do these "experts" think the gulls held a meeting to determine their response or something? Methinks they have been watching too many Disney films or something ...

Ross said...

I blame global warming.

S.B.S. said...

Tennis Racket,
Perfect defence!

Anonymous said...

Where do they find these 'experts'?

Once again, a gem of a find, thanks Julia!

dr cromarty said...

Gulls are everywhere. Essentially big white pigeons (and pigeons are just feathery rats)

They tend to swoop on me if I walk my dog in a park nearby during nesting season. They don't like the dog, see (they leave me alone if I'm on my own). When I throw stones at them they stop swooping on me and the dog. They adapt well. That's why they survive. It's called evolution.

They don't need a f****** quango.

Greencoat said...

The National Gull Rescue And Protection Group - would that be the provisional 'wing'?

English Viking said...

This sounds like an allegory for Islamic immigration and the subsequent biting of the hand that feeds, but that's probably just because I'm an obsessed racist.

Anonymous said...

At least gulls are not protected like swallows.

If they move into your workroom/shed, you are not allowed to remove the nest.

Which means it'll rain mites, birdpoop, dead nestlings, salmonella and encephalitis causing bacteria on you and yours whilst the swallows rule the roost.

This happened to someone I know, not sure if they had the nerve to evict the birds, chances are they meekly risk their health this summer whilst sharing their workspace with the filthy birds.

JuliaM said...

"Dinsdale Piranha, a local businessman said, "Citizens have become abnormally agressive in reaction to poor treatment from a multitude of quangos.""

:D

"Firstly, love this is happening in Peacehaven. I'd dread to think what is going down in Gravesend, zombie Resident Evil 3-style crow attacks presumably."

Have you been to Gravesend? It'd be considered an improvement!

"I blame global warming."

I'm betting someone's eying up the story with a view to do just that...

"They adapt well. That's why they survive. It's called evolution. "

Indeed.

JuliaM said...

"The National Gull Rescue And Protection Group - would that be the provisional 'wing'?"

Heh!

"This happened to someone I know, not sure if they had the nerve to evict the birds..."

Swallows (like a lot of migratory birds) will return to the same nest site, so the thing to do it block up there access once they've flown the nest, so on return next year, they go elsewhere...

Anonymous said...

Swallows are not rare and removing the nest & eggs at the early stage would only have meant they'll restart elsewhere.

Instead, the law force people to sit literally in bird shit because you're not allowed to remove it, even if it's right above your work space.

The victims only legal choice is to surrender the space to the birds here or risk getting seriously sick.

As much as I love animals, the idea of putting birds' rights above humans like that is just insane.

WV: deconest