Don't bother wracking your brains for a punchline. It isn't a joke (well, not that sort, anyway):
Riding home on his mobility scooter at less than 4 mph, Eamonn Donohoe wasn't going anywhere in a hurry and didn't appear to be a menace to pedestrians.Oh, boy! 'Polce Stop: Chesterfield' must be high on some late-night TV executive producers list...
But when the drunken Irishman ignored a policeman's attempt to flag him down, the local constabulary decided to take no chances.
As Mr Donohoe, 62, was trundling along the pavement near his sheltered bungalow he found himself surrounded by eight police officers and three marked vehicles.
One patrol car mounted the kerb to block his way and after failing a roadside breath test the disabled grandfather was locked in police cells for 12 hours, fingerprinted, photographed and had a DNA swab taken.I suspect the offence here was less 'driving while drunk' and more 'not obeying the police immediately'. If he had stopped, I wonder if he'd have got off with a caution?
Or is Chesterfield a crime-free paradise where there's nothing more serious going on? Well, the crime figures are mostly above the national averages, so I'll guess that's a 'no'.
Indeed, this isn't Mr Donohoe's first brush with the law, albeit on the other side last time:
...the bizarre episode has left the retired construction worker from Old Whittington, Chesterfield, feeling disillusioned with the forces of law and order.Indeed, Mr Donohoe. Hard to disagree.
He said:'I can’t believe how they treated me – anybody would think that I was a bank robber or a member of Al-Qaeda.
'The police are always saying they’re short of resources, and then go and employ eight officers arresting someone like me. It’s completely mad, and a total waste of public money.
'When someone broke into my home and stole my TV and my video two years ago the police didn’t turn up for three days, and yet they can drop everything for something as daft as this. There’s no wonder the police get it in the neck.'
Particularly when you read stuff like this, from Pavlov's Cat. It comes as no surprise to see that it's West Midland Police yet again, either.