But They Did Beat You, Didn't They...?

Mr Sayner said: “I can’t believe it, the world has gone mad.

“What’s annoying is the police can find the time to knock on the door about a scarecrow and they’ve got all this crime going on.

“Have they got nothing better to do?”

Yes, it's yet another incidence of 'I'm offended' and the state looking to do something about it. In this case, visit the offending party and claim powers they don't actually have:

“I said I could change the colour of the face if that would make it better?

“She said ‘no, it’s not that, it’s the whole Michael Jackson thing and the red PVC suit'.

“I explained it’s the actual Thriller suit. There was a sign underneath that said 'thriller'.

“She said, ‘no, we need it removing.’

At which point, your answer should have been 'No. It breaks no laws'. 

Having taken the Michael Jackson figure down the couple have since created a tableau of Village People performing legendary hit YMCA.

Mr Sayner said: "I thought, 'they're not beating me'. At the moment, when everyone's feeling fed up and a bit down - it’s a bit of fun isn’t it.”

In what way have they 'not beaten you'?

You cravenly did as they asked. They had no power to compel you to do it. They weren't even real police!

A Humberside Police spokesperson said: "We understand that, especially at this time, people are coming together and are wanting to bring light-hearted relief to their communities.

"On Saturday May 23 we did receive a complaint from a local resident who reported they had been offended by a scarecrow on display in a front garden on Compass Road in Hull.

"As with all reports of this nature we want to make sure we talk to everyone involved to look at a way to resolve any situation amicably.

"PCSOs discussed the concerns of the person reporting it to us with the householder displaying the scarecrow, who decided to remove it from their garden.

"There is no further involvement or action that will be taken by police."

There wasn't any to begin with! And until people start to grow a pair and reply with Stephen Fry's response to claims of offence, we'll have uniformed Karens going around thinking they have a licence to bully.