Oh, Hi, Chickens!

...can I offer you a roost?

Referral units for children who have been excluded from mainstream schools are warning that they are full to bursting because of unprecedented levels of disruptive behaviour across the country.

Is the 'C' word getting a mention here, perchance? Well, Reader, only obliquely...

Providers that take children excluded from mainstream schools say that after a lull during the pandemic, the situation has deteriorated, and they have seen permanent exclusions rising across the country in the past year.

So the pandemic was a good thing...? And not in any way a potential cause of this increase..? 

Dave McPartlin, head of Flakefleet primary school in Lancashire, said: “The additional need we are seeing in schools is absolutely unprecedented and everyone is seeing more behaviour problems.”

He said complex needs were emerging much earlier too, with children in nursery and reception exhibiting emotional, social and communication issues.

Hmmm... 

I wonder what other treats we have in store from three years of covid shenanigans?

Your Wee Dram Is About To Get More Expensive...

The Scottish First Minister could stage a new crackdown on the whisky industry north of the border. The move could be introduced amid fears emissions from the "angel's share" of casks are harming both the environment and human health.

Good grief, it's one of the few things Scotland provides that people want to buy! 

Researchers have been asked to suggest possible "mitigation strategies" for "controlling" whisky-related emissions. However, this has led to a backlash from the industry.

Sadly, not the sort of 'backlash' that would result in the election of a new First Minister... 

H/T: The Jannie via email

Let's Stop This 'One Bite Allowed' Nonsense...

A woman's whose dog attacked a postman has been ordered to keep her pet muzzled and on a lead in public.

Why? Why isn't the thing destroyed immediately and her fined a huge amount? 

In her police interview the defendant said Roxy has separation anxiety and one of the triggers is shoes.

Wait, there's mitigation for bloody dogs now...?! Christ, defence solicitors will have to work overtime... 

The court heard Roxy has been assessed by a police dog expert.

Ah! A police expert, eh? 

She found the defendant is a responsible dog owner who has Roxy on a lead and ensures she wears a muzzle in public.

She has also bought a new letterbox to ensure postmen do not have to approach the front door. She is having a taller fence fitted and a more secure gate. And a stairgate has been fitted at the front door to prevent Roxy getting out.

Her view was that the defendant is a fit and proper person to have control of a dog and is a responsible dog owner.

She added: "From what I have seen of Roxy she is not a dangerous dog."

The poor bloody victim might have a different opinion, but who cares about him? 

And why is someone allowed to keep an animal that requires that level of security to prevent it harming anyone? 

Paul Kay, mitigating, said the defendant has no previous convictions. She lives on her own with her five-year-old grandson. The front door was open as they were going to the shop. She went in a separate room to put on her shoes.

What, the things that trigger the dog? Oh, FFS! 

"He's been at it all day rambling on, but never in my life did I think he would go to the school with a meat cleaver."

Another parent, who was the first to call police, said: 'It was an accident waiting to happen. Today he sounded very distressed and he's been using foul language all day. He just sounded incredibly upset and distressed throughout the day.'

Ah, yes, the nutter with the weapon is the real victim here... 

'You could hear and see him from the back garden brandishing knives. My husband who works from home ran down the stairs and said he's on the front going into school with a meat cleaver, and I was just on the phone talking to the police straight away and talking through to them until they got here.'

Some other people weren't prepared to wait for that, and tackled the man.  

'The teachers acted very quickly and got everybody in the school hall, three men were trying to calm him down, but he was very, very agitated and then he moved further in and then it was seven men who were watching what he was doing and then one of them actually wrestled him to the floor.' 

Those men are heroes.  

Newsflash, Chris: 'Down The Road' Is Out Of Range!

A police force using electric vehicles is struggling to respond to crime because the batteries keep going flat, a Police and Crime Commissioner said.

Oh, well, it's probably one or two show vehicles, so...

Ah. 

Gloucestershire Constabulary has the largest full electric fleet in the UK, making up 21% of their 435 vehicles.

/facepalm 

PCC Chris Nelson said while "we've all got to go towards electric vehicles moving forwards," the force has the largest fleet by percentage size and "that has brought its problems".

"The design options available for electric vehicles for operational uses are not perhaps as advanced as I would like them to be."

He added that he was "cautious about going any further down that road at this stage".

Well, yes, if there's no charging station at the end of it, no wonder! 

H/T: Ian J via email

They Won't Learn, Because There Are No Consequences...

A mother who went on a drink and cocaine binge while her nine-year-old boy was mauled to death by an American bulldog cross has apologised to his father - as a court heard there had been three previous incidents with the dog.

Was I right, or was I right?

Today, senior coroner for Cornwall, Andrew Cox, said Willis had made a 'serious error of judgment and a serious mistake' in leaving Frankie alone with the dog but her negligence was not sufficient to allow him to record a conclusion of unlawful killing.

What..?!? 

Instead, he recorded a narrative conclusion and said he would be writing a preventing future deaths report to Devon and Cornwall Police. It came as the court heard the dog had previously attacked three people in Plymouth between 2016 and 2018.

*sighs* 

'When I went into the caravan the dog followed me in and Frankie asked me if the dog could stay in and I asked Sadie, 'Is he alright' and she said, 'Yeah, take Winnie, Winnie loves kids.'

Loves them to death. 

The most heart-rending part of this story is that the poor kid had defensive wounds, indicating that he tried - futilely - to fight off the beast that weighed more than he did...  

Andrew Cox, the senior coroner for Cornwall, said: 'It does raise the question in my mind whether steps could have been taken earlier that may have avoided this tragic outcome.

'It is manifestly obvious now to us having heard all of the evidence and having learnt of the incidents in 2016 and 2018 that there was a risk of this dog attacking Frankie.

'At the time Ms Willis did not know that and I have accepted her evidence.

'The same cannot be said of Ms Totterdell as she must have known of the earlier incidents and was spoken to by the police following the incident in 2016 and spoken to by the mother of the child bitten in 2018.'

But that's the problem, isn't it? She was just 'spoken to'. The police being seemingly handicapped by the old adage that a dog is 'allowed one bite' even when it's already had two or three. 

He said: 'I want the police to check the systems they now have in place are sufficiently robust to ensure where that happens, if it is necessary, a dog is dealt with before this sort of incident can happen again.

'I want to be very clear, I am not saying that the police did not take the appropriate steps on this occasion.

'We know there were two incidents in 2016 but the events of 2018 were not brought to police attention.

'What it seems to me is important is that a robust system is in place so that if there are incidents like this in the future, we can be confident that those dogs that need to be are dealt with.'

Don't hold your breath, Mr Cox... 

'Gutted'..? You Should Be Hung, Drawn And Quartered...

A surveillance team and special tactics group monitored the man at all times and plain clothes officers were able to shoot and kill him within 60 seconds of launching the attack after detectives were so close they 'heard' the commotion.

And yet despite that, six victims are tonight fighting for their lives in hospitals in Adern's New Zealand.

Ardern revealed that the suspect was considered one of the nation's most dangerous extremists and had been watched 24/7 since 2016, adding she was 'gutted' he was able to carry out the attack despite being on the terror watchlist.

If he'd been deported back to his home country, he wouldn't have been able to do it, would he? Whoever he is. Because despite him being stone cold dead, the law in Adern's nightmare land forbid him from being identified...

Due to suppression orders that are already in place, Ardern says there is information about the man's identity and details of his past criminal history that cannot yet be revealed.

She vowed to share any further details 'within the confines of the law' if the court lifted suppression orders in the wake of his death. But Auckland's mayor Phil Goff said it is 'frustrating' that Ardern cannot reveal more details about the attacker.

It's more than just frustrating, it's utterly insane. The lands down under have turned into places that even North Korea probably regard as a bit bonkers. 

When Quotas Cause Accidents..?

A school bus driver has been jailed for three years for crashing a double-decker into a railway bridge, injuring 41 children, three of them seriously.

Prosecutor Nicholas Cotter told the court that Walker, who was a Stagecoach employee, had been driving the route for the first time when he had taken a wrong turn without realising.

This was a low-speed accident - the bus kept going forward at 10mph while the children screamed and the roof peeled back. Why would an experienced bus driver keep driving, in these circumstances? 

Defence lawyer Neil Fitzgibbon said Walker had learning difficulties and dyslexia but had been a "careful and diligent driver" until this crash.

He said Walker had only been given a "partial familiarisation" trip on the route by his supervisors at Stagecoach and should have been given more training because of his learning disabilities.

Why would you hire a learning disabled dyslexic to drive schoolchildren? Is ticking a diversity box more important to Stagecoach than passenger safety?

That Diversity Hire Programme Going Well, Eh..?

A police officer has been struck from the force without notice following a fast-tracked misconduct hearing.

Oh, another one? They are like buses, aren't they? So, what did this one do to get fast tracked? 

Former PC Melissa Sanchez Marulanda, 29, was off-duty when she launched an attack on a fellow officer who she repeatedly struck in the face.

Ah. Yeah. That'll do it a lot faster than if she'd assaulted a member of the public! 

How'd this happen, anyway? Argument in the canteen over the last bacon roll?

Met Police were called to a property in Croydon, south London, after receiving a silent emergency call last July. They met the former probationer at the site, along with two other people, and explained that they needed to ensure the welfare of those inside.

However when they tried to enter, they were pushed and Sanchez Marulanda physically attacked one of the officers.

Curiouser and curiouser... 

“Although PC Melissa Sanchez Marulanda was only weeks into her career as a Metropolitan Police officer, her behaviour displayed none of the qualities we expect in our officers,” said Chief Inspector Matt Cox, from the Met’s Directorate of Professional Standards.

“A lack of self-control, ill-discipline and a disregard for the law. She pleaded guilty to assaulting a colleague, and has now had to face the consequences of her actions; and an end to her policing career.”

Really? It sems to be the type you're planning on attracting these days.  

OK, Who Remembers These In The Manifesto..?

Hmmm....

via GIPHY