Well, actually, there are. And those words are 'fucking useless politically correct police who aren't fit for purpose and should be strung up by their bollocks (if you can find any)', but this is a family blog and...
Oh. Well, it
was.
A magistrate defending his family against an armed gang who stormed his home ended up being arrested himself – and accused of a racially aggravated assault.
Police detained Nigel Stringer for three hours and he remains under investigation while the gang – believed to have been armed with a gun, knives, metal bars and a crossbow – were allowed to leave.
Is there a bit of schadenfreude that this is a member of the criminal justice system suddenly realising what all of us who aren't have known for years?
Reader, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't...
The 67-year-old, who has been a magistrate for 26 years, is now standing down to pursue a private prosecution against the men.
But you know what? I totally admire him for this. Not content with just whinging, he's going to fight.
Mr Stringer says justice 'runs in my blood', with his grandfather and parents having careers in policing.
But he said: 'They would all turn in their graves to know that modern political correctness caused my son and I to be taken from our home for defending our family.
'In detaining us the police left my wife and daughters unprotected with some of the gang still in and around our garden.'
Of course they did.
And I'm wondering now if the cops that arrested him had ever come up against him in court, and lost. After all, it seems to be
a pretty common thing for uniformed thugs to get the idea they can do as they please.
Yesterday Mr Stringer said: 'This should be a warning to all homeowners that not only are the police unable to protect us, they will actually arrest innocent homeowners who protect themselves, even against an armed and dangerous gang.'
Thanks for the warning, but we didn't really
need it. We've seen it happen too many times.
A Norfolk Police spokesman said a file has been submitted to the Crown Prosecution Service and Mr Stringer 'remains under investigation'.
I hope there's a few sweaty collars in the CPS & ACPO ranks right now, and not just because of the unseasonable temperatures...