The Naming Of Terrorists Is A Difficult Matter, It Isn't Just One Of Your Holiday Games...

You may think at first I'm as mad as a hatter when I tell you a Muslim must have different names...

Police are considering dropping the terms 'Islamist terror' and 'jihadi' because they 'don't help community relations.'

Alternatives suggested include 'faith-claimed terrorism', 'terrorists abusing religious motivations' and 'adherents of Osama bin Laden's ideology,' The Times reported.

Who on earth is suggesting this? Well, the enemy within, of course:

A Muslim police organisation claimed today's official terminology fuelled negative perceptions, stereotypes, discrimination and Islamophobia.

It instead suggested an Arabic word, 'Irhabi,' could be deployed. It is used throughout the Middle East to describe those with extremist views.

Nah, I think we'll stick with our own terms, thanks. If you're keen on Middle Eastern terms, why not go live there instead?

David Toube, of Quilliam, a counter-extremism think tank, told The Times: 'People do not like to feel that they are being told only the partial truth ... there is a serious problem with Islamist terrorism.

'The use of any term that obscures that fact risks damaging public trust in the police.'

Could it possibly be damaged any further?

"Move Over, Met Police, We're The Wokest Farce In The Country!"

Investigated by whom? Local council anti flyposting teams?

No. Avon and Somerset Police, of course!

Avon and Somerset Police said it believed the posters were put up overnight on Saturday.

Supt Andy Bennett (Ed: yup, it's this uniformed clown again, of course...), said the force took "any reported hate crime with the utmost seriousness".

"It is inexplicable and unacceptable," he said. "We are a vibrant, multi-cultural and diverse community. There is no space for hate in Avon and Somerset."

Really? That's surprising to hear, there was a place for it back in 2008. Aqil Farooq has probably made superintendent by now...

Queries to the farce as to what, exactly, makes 'It's OK to be white' some sort of hate crime have gone unanswered. Of course. Because we all know 'It's ok to be black' or 'It's OK to be brown' would never be described as such.

Can I Desecrate Graves Too?

A man is exasperated after repeatedly being told he would have to pay hundreds of pounds to see a “deeply offensive” racial term removed from two gravestones.

Because the world should immediately cave in and do it for free..?

Last week, St Margaret’s Church in Rottingdean covered up the headstones to two white music hall singers who performed in blackface. It has now promised to put the memorials – both inscribed with the word “c**n” – into storage.

But it has since emerged that a man had been battling to have the offensive language erased since last April.

Joseph Letang from Telscombe Cliffs, who is of Caribbean heritage, was upset by the wording. He wrote emails to church authorities and took his complaint to the highest levels of the Church of England.

He was repeatedly told the Church could not consider changing the wording unless he paid a £296.20 fee to launch a petition in a church court.

Personally, I'd have preferred the church to say 'No, not at any price. This is someone's gravestone, and the only people who can change it are the descendants'.

But of course, they didn't. Because they too are cowards, these days.

He is astounded by the length of time it took the church to act, and that as someone hurt by the language, he should have to pay for its removal.

How was he 'hurt by the language'? Could he see these gravestones from his window? Did he have to walk past them every day?

Reader, of course not:

He heard about the inscriptions from his 24-year-old daughter, who saw the graves on a walk in the churchyard.

He didn't even see them himself....

Mr Letang said he did not intend for the headstones to be taken away.

He said replacement stones without the offensive words should be put up to remember the dead and the originals, or photos of them, should be given to a museum.

When are we going to stop abasing ourselves to this 'offence culture'? There's no end to it. And the backlash is already starting.

It Was Also The Most Pointless Answer....

The United Nations rapporteur on extreme poverty and human rights squeezed onto a school bench alongside a dozen children in one of Glasgow’s most deprived neighbourhoods and posed a question: “Who should help poor people?”

“The rich people,” Soroush, one of the children, shot back. “It’s unfair to have people earning billions of pounds and have other people living on benefits.”

It was perhaps the frankest answer Philip Alston received on a two-day visit to Scotland, where a million people live in relative poverty, including one in five children.

Note that 'relative' in there. These children are not 'living in poverty' at all.

Little Soroush isn't rooting through a garbage pile for enough to eat, or sleeping on the streets, or dying of a relatively-curable illness.

The children were asked to jot down what being poor might mean for a person. John Adebola-Samuel, 12, quietly penned: “He cannot afford meals. He cannot buy trainers. He cannot watch TV.”

Remember when you could go to a Scottish school and quote children called Hamish & Morag? Are there any left?

While Alston met Sturgeon, Karen Reid, 35, a single mother of four in the deprived Pilton neighbourhood - close to affluent Stockbridge and the elite Fettes College public school - told the Guardian how she last worked nine years ago, struggled with depression and once drank so heavily she suffered permanent nerve damage to her hands and feet.

Her disability allowance has been stopped, costing her family £600 a month.

And relieving the taxpayer of having to support a workshy drunkard. Sounds like a good deal to me!

Alston is in Belfast on Saturday before finishing his tour in Essex and London. He will announce the conclusions of his investigation at a press conference on Friday.

Don't bother. I can already predict what he'll say.

Invasive And Unwanted...

...the RSPCA has now called for the sale of tanukis - also known as raccoon dogs - to be banned.

Really? Aren't they already regulated? Don't you need a wild animal licence?

Well, no. DEFRA is unconcerned. So why are the RSPCA getting out of their box?

The charity has confirmed that the creatures, which are native to Japan, Siberia and China, have already escaped into the wild and are posing a threat to British wildlife.

And there are fears that tanukis, which harbour high levels of parasites, could also infect humans, in some cases with lethal results.

RUN! RUN! Godzilla was nothing, here comes the Terrible Tanuki!

Dr Ros Clubb, RSPCA wildlife and exotic specialist, said: “We know that some raccoon dogs are now living wild in Britain, and there is a risk that they could start to breed.

“We want the authorities to ban the sale of these animals as pets. They are simply not suitable, and they are escaping and getting out into the natural environment.”

Yes, not regulate them, ban them. No-one is allowed to have a pet that the RSPCA disapproves of. It's why little old ladies leave them bequests, clearly...

“People might think 'I could just keep them in my living room and keep them as a dog but they're wild animals and need large areas and people just don't know how to look after them,” said Dr Clubb.

“They can be aggressive, some don't like to be handled or touched. They may run away or escape. It's a nightmare trying to re-home them - when we hear one has come in we all just sigh.”

Before euthanizing it? Like you do with so many seized animals PETA is probably going to come to you for advice?

But maybe my dislike for this ghastly self-serving fakecharity is colouring my reaction. Maybe we are overrun with cute but deadly raccoon dogs?

The RSPCA last year received 15 complaints about raccoon dogs and rescued three, up from four complaints and two rescues in 2015.

Oh. OK. That's a 'no' then?

Let's cull another invasive & unwanted species, then: Rspca vulgaris.