Friday 16 July 2010

"Be vewy vewy quiet..."

"I'm hunting wabbits cows":
The investigation also revealed:

A police constable and an acting sergeant blasted a cow eight times with a rifle and four times with a shotgun during a 'humane destruction' in Stockton-on-Tees in August last year.
We'd better hope that Mark Wadsworth's long prophesied cow war never comes to pass...

12 comments:

Jeff Wood said...

Shooting a cow with a shotgun?

/Facepalm, followed by towering rage.


In shooting clubs, loading and unloading drills are very strict, so there are very few negligent discharges. It is trickier in the case of people who carry firearms for work, say slodiers, cops, farmers and hunters. NDs are inevitably more common.

However, right from the invention of firearms, men discovered the rules the hard way, so that if one makes enough mistakes to get as far as an unintended shot going off, at least the piece should be pointed in a safe direction.

Jeff Wood said...

Soldiers, of course. Sorry.

Chuckles said...

Probably worth setting RSPCA, DEFRA and PETA onto them? The jurisdiction fight should be marketable to Channel 4.

Perhaps you could enquire of the rabidly pro 'arm the police' loons that have been frothing and grunting around recently, if the could explain how this fits in with their strategy, and illustrates how their mature and professional and well trained police force for the 21st century carries out it's duties. Bolsters their case no end I'd say?

I think I need to go and lie down for a bit. I have these recurring images of the Englishmans 'African Infantryman' competition, and where this lot would be in the standings...

Anonymous said...

Superintendent: Why the heck didn't you go down the humane dynamite route?

Sergeant: Someone had misplaced the biscuit tin again, Super.

Super: How come the animal was shot with eight bullets and 64 pellets, Sergeant?

Sergeant: 'Cos we run out of ammo, Super.

Brian, follower of Deornoth said...

Anon, unless this was an especially well-armoured cow, I'd imagine the surrounding countryside was shot with eight bullets and sixty-four pellets.

(The cow probably died of fright.)

Jiks said...

"A Bedfordshire Police officer fired off a Taser 26 times by mistake into a ballistic bag at an armoury in December last year."

How the hell can you accidently shoot something 26 times?! I mean, really, come on ...

Mark Wadsworth said...

Ta for link.

I'd just like to point out that in relative terms, German cows are three times as bloodthirsty as ours. Two or three deaths in June alone.

James Higham said...

Saw that - it was horrible. One shot to the brain would have done it.

ArtCo said...

Maybe they should have got Raoul Moat to do it .
oops ill get my coat.
ArtCo

Fuck off you were all thinking the same.

ArtCo said...

On a serious note, its not easy killing an animal (although with a gun its probably easier) a friend of my dads was walking down a lane and a rabbit literaly bumped into him, in the seventies Myxomatosis was prevalent,he said it took him about 5 bashes against a tree before hed dispatched the animal, Since then Mr Sutcliffe has gone from strength to strength.

Anonymous said...

They were all accidents. The shotgun just went off on the only four occasions people were standing in front of the barrel.

Gadget (Ex Inspector)
Stanley Royd Asylum

JuliaM said...

"NDs are inevitably more common. "

I was amazed to see that perennial favourite in there - 'shot in the hand while cleaning the gun'. WTF?

"Probably worth setting RSPCA, DEFRA and PETA onto them?"

Just as in the FMD crisis, the RSPCA never seem to want to take action when the target is the government. Too much chance they'll lose their influemce, I guess.

"Perhaps you could enquire of the rabidly pro 'arm the police' loons that have been frothing and grunting around recently, if the could explain how this fits in with their strategy, and illustrates how their mature and professional and well trained police force for the 21st century carries out it's duties. Bolsters their case no end I'd say?"

They've gone a bit quiet lately. Wonder why? ;)

"How the hell can you accidently shoot something 26 times?! "

I think you have to be very, very stupid...

"...you were all thinking the same."

True! :)