Tuesday, 14 December 2010

It’s Amazing What Four Pints Of Stella Can Do…

I mean, it gives me a bit of a buzz, but mostly an overwhelming urge to run to the loo every five minutes.

So you wouldn’t think it’d have this effect on a great big burly chap, would you?
Miss Pickering said at this point Fodderie was becoming 'more aggressive' and was standing very close to the medic and pointing his finger in his face.

At this point he said: 'I'm a chef. If you ever come to Jamie Oliver's restaurant I'll poison your food.' He then said: 'I will f***ing knock you out.'

Miss Pickering said Dr Grant felt threatened and called security who then contacted the police.
Remind me not to send any dishes back to the kitchen if I ever eat there!

Still, abusing the front-line NHS staff is a big no-no, and rightly so, so I hope chummy knows how to cook porridge, because…

Oh, FFS!
District Judge Quentin Purdy said he saw it as a 'classic case of people on the front line being abused' but he was persuaded to suspend the cook's prison sentence.
Well, that’s how you get more and more ‘classic cases of people on the front line being abused’, moron!
Judge Purdy ordered that he carry out 150 hours of unpaid work and was banned from entering the City of Westminster for six months unless on work related activities.

He was also ordered to pay Dr Grant £200 in compensation.
Still, maybe it was his first offe…

Oh, why pretend?
The 23-year-old, who has a previous conviction for robbery

The sainted Oliver needs to select his protégés a little better, I think:
It is not the first time a Fifteen apprentice has found himself on the wrong side of the law.

Trainee chef Christopher Murray, 22, from south London, was jailed for two years in 2009 after sexually assaulting two women on the London Underground.
Or he could always take over that famous vegetarian restaurant in Covent Garden, and rename it ‘Crooks’….


Captain Haddock said...

A) ... If you eat in Jamie Oliver's restaurant, you deserve everything you get ..

B) ... What else can one expect from a Judge named "Quentin" FFS ???

subrosa said...

Can't stop laughing at the Captain.

Surely you know Jamie's the saviour of thugs Julia. :)

Clarissa said...

'Tis so nice to know that some of the money that the girls and I paid for lunch yesterday is going to this man...

David Gillies said...

Four pints of Stella? That's what's known as 'aperitif' before one starts drinking in earnest. Poof.

WV word: thoatted, which sounds like a dialect word. "Eee, Silas an Oi wuz right thoatted last night on scrumpy!"

blueknight said...

Nobody knows whether he ever pissed in the custard.....

JuliaM said...

"What else can one expect from a Judge named "Quentin" FFS ???"


"Surely you know Jamie's the saviour of thugs Julia. :)"

He does seem to have quite a collection!

"That's what's known as 'aperitif' before one starts drinking in earnest. Poof."

I do hope the revelation lead to a great deal of ridicule while inside.

Ah, but wait, he isn't going inside, is he? Not this time, any way.

Edwin Greenwood said...

Due to some unknown metabolic coincidence, ever since a pleasant, totally non-violent evening some twenty years ago during which I consumed four pints of said wifebeater potion, I have been physically allergic to Stella. One mouthful gives me a more-or-less instant hangover.

The A&E units of hospitals throughout the land will be reassured to learn that they are in no danger of violent Stella-fuelled rampages by me.

WV: swedliti: a lost band of Vikings who settled in Southern Italy in the late 9th century.

KenS said...

a quarter of people believe more money should be spent on benefits

I wonder if there is any correlation between the proportion of the population who believe more money should be spent on benefits and the proportion of the population who receive benefits?

KenS said...

Oops, posted on wrong thread!