Ah, Those Benefits Of Free Movement Within The EU…

Non-English speaking Maria Araujo asked her husband Eduardo to help her deal with some documents, Bristol Crown Court heard.

In an argument that ensued she lashed out with a small kitchen knife and stabbed him in the upper inside of his thigh and calf.

And it’s not the first time she’s been in the dock for this…

The court heard the case had a protracted history and included a trial in April 2014 in which she was acquitted of wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm.

Time she spent remanded in custody, and also being put on a curfew, meant she had served the equivalent of a ten months prison sentence, the court heard.

So, guess what? Yup, you guessed it!

The court first had to swear in a Portuguese interpreter for Araujo to enable her to understand proceedings.

What’s the Portuguese for ‘pussy pass’? We should ask that expensive court interpreter…

The recorder Mr Stephen Hall: "You attacked your husband with a knife. It is said you employed a device to get him to your home so you could attack him."

Clear premeditation, so why the soft sentencing?

Mr Hollier said the prosecution accepted a jury's finding that Araujo did not intend to cause the injuries, but she conceded she was reckless.

You lie in wait for someone you’ve lured to a place with a knife, and you don’t intend to cause injuries? But let me guess, she’s the real victim?

Mr Nelson, defending, said: "It is hard to argue that it does not pass the (custody) threshold.

"The injuries were serious at the hand of a knife.

"She has suffered a great deal from depression and she has found this whole process extremely difficult. The court will be pleased to hear that since proceedings there has been no issue between the parties. There's no contact."

OK, back to Excuse School for you!