It is cold, it is wet, it is nearly Christmas and in Bournemouth the local council has come up with a new wheeze to torture the homeless.Yes, that’s mature. Of course, they are just doing it because they are big meanie poopyheads, aren’t they?
Apparently responding to complaints from commuters who felt “intimidated” by homeless people congregating outside the railway station, the council hit upon all-night bagpipes as a solution.Nice use of scare quotes. I’m guessing the sight of aggressive beggars doesn’t intimidate you. You must be soooooo brave.
When 4,000 – presumably less easily intimidated – people signed a petition branding the measure inhumane, the authority listened.
And it responded, by changing the record to Alvin and the Chipmunks’ uniquely eardrum-needling take on “All I Want For Christmas Is You”.Hahahahahahaha! Top trolling, Bournemouth Council!
This is not some sub-Orwellian joke. It happened. Just like those anti-homeless spikes that appeared outside a new block of flats in London and Selfridges in Manchester, and many other places besides. It takes a special kind of bureaucratic mind to see a social problem, such as growing numbers of people with nowhere to go but the streets, and then find a way to make matters worse for them.Because being aggressively panhandled for change by a drunk or druggie (or even someone who isn’t actually homeless at all) isn’t a social problem, I suppose?