Competition: Find A More 2026 Opening Paragraph Than This One!

As a mother of four boys, teenagers riding e-bikes had become one of my biggest parenting fears. But after speaking to friends of William Drake, 16, and Adrian Lai, 15, the two teenagers killed when their dirt bike collided with a bus in Sydney's west this week, that has completely changed. And I think everyone should be more worried about what happens when police get more authority to seize and destroy these bikes.

A middle class woman opens dialogue with some ‘teens’ over the senseless death of two of them during a criminal endeavour, and comes away from it thinking they have a point. 

The following day, a number of their mates agreed to talk to me about their involvement in the growing illegal e-bike culture. I expected regret. I expected a wake-up call. Instead, I was met with defiance. And something far more confronting: fear.

Not, Reader, fear of dying in a horrifying crash. That takes sense, with they clearly lack.  

'What else are we going to do?' one classmate asked me when I questioned whether this tragedy would stop ride-outs. 'How else will we be able to make friends and have somewhere to go?'He wasn't concerned about getting hurt, or worse still, losing his life before it even had a chance to really begin. He was worried about losing his freedom.

The freedom to end your short life in a twisted mass of mangled metal? 

But what struck me most is this: e-bikes are not the real problem.

Not all kids play sport. Youth clubs are dwindling. And now social media, for many under-16s, is effectively off the table.

Oh dear, I’d forgotten this was Australia. Is that ‘unforeseen consequences’ I hear calling?

The young teens I spoke to didn't care what the law says, and they are willing to take the risk of being caught for the thing they love most. That's actually being with their mates, but their logical brains are still developing, and they think it is about the e-bikes. Which means if we ban them without replacing them, they will not stop.

Give them social media so they won't find more dangerous pursuits? Well, it's a theory...

Unforseen Consequences

Sir Keir Starmer issued a direct plea to London parents to get their children vaccinated against measles as health chiefs were scrambling to contain a “big outbreak” in the north of the capital. The Prime Minister’s intervention highlighted how worried the Government is about the outbreak in Enfield.

And they are right to be, but it’s a disaster entirely of their own making, no matter what they want you to believe. 

Taking a swipe at Nigel Farage’s Reform UK for giving a stage to a doctor who wrongly claimed Covid jabs were linked to cancers affecting the King and Princess of Wales, the PM added: “Public health isn’t a culture war.

 It became one when you acquiesced in the government of the day’s plan to lock down the entire country for a flu variant, and encouraged everyone to get ineffective jabs to ‘combat’ it.

“It’s about keeping our communities safe.

 Which ‘communities’ are these anyway? Remember when the UK only had the one to worry about? 

Health minister Stephen Kinnock stressed that the Government was “very concerned” about the big outbreak in north London.“Our country expects its leaders to stand firmly behind science to protect our children, not to give oxygen to conspiracy theories.”

Dismissing discredited claims of a link between the MMR vaccine and autism, he stressed that the jab was “completely safe in terms of the science”.

Yeah, science, from the people that believe women can have penises and men can, if they take hormones, grow a cervix! It is to laugh!

What's Another Barmy Idea From The World Of Education, After All?

Pupils should not automatically be sent home if they are suspended from school in England and could instead remain on site, the government has said. Education Secretary Bridget Phillipson said being sent home could mean children "retreating to social media". She said on-site suspensions should be used for pupils who had not been violent.

Starmer is getting pretty deseperate to avoid pupils reading that he's a wanker on Twitter and Snapchat I guess. Everyone already knows, Kwier... 

And why is there such a desperate need to suspend pupils anyway?

The number and rate of suspensions had been increasing before Covid, but the rise has accelerated ever since.

Ah, Covid panic - the gift that really does go on giving. 

"Unintended Consequences? Never Heard Of Them!"

A new criminal offence of intentionally deceiving a person into engaging in sexual activity should be created to address confusion in the law around consent, legal experts and lawyers have said.

The new offence of inducing sexual activity by deception would cover both making of false representations as well as failing to disclose information.

As such, it would potentially apply in future to cases such as those involving “spy cops”, in which undercover police officers adopted fake personas and conducted sexual affairs with female activists.

Hmmm. Isn't it also going to apply to transgender people who aren't forthcoming about their real sex?

 I'm going to need two of these!

"Consequences? No-one Told Me There'd Be Any Of Those!"

Gosh, it'd take a heart of stone, wouldn't it?

The awards system has maintained its usual artist categories, with prizes for British solo male and British solo female. That means there is no room for Smith, who uses they and them as their pronouns since coming out as non-binary in September 2019.

Best reply:

/applause 

H/T: Shatterface via Twitter

You Allowed, Nay, Encouraged, Them To Take An Inch...

...why the surprise when they come back for the mile?

A woman was left 'dumbstruck' after a pharmacy assistant told her she couldn't buy a pregnancy test because it is 'not an essential item' and she 'shouldn't be trying to conceive' amid the coronavirus pandemic.

What did you think would happen when you demanded they start meddling in things like this? Did you think they'd stop at telling people to stub out those fags?

In a later post, the woman, who decided to order a pregnancy test from Amazon, went on to say how she had since called the pharmacy to complain.

However, she believed it was the same assistant who answered the phone due to the 'sound of her voice'.

And when the customer asked to speak to the manager, the staff member said he wasn't there and they were unable to call her back.

Gosh, and I thought they were all supposed to be 'community-focussed' now...

Surely You Already Know The Answer..?

It's because his boss got away with killing an innocent Brazilian electrician and was promoted to the highest rank possible.

After that, anything goes in the thoroughly discredited Met, clearly...

In 2016, retired High Court judge Sir Richard Henriques produced an excoriating report on the failings of the inquiry in general, but vital sections (43 in all), including the shortcomings of individual detectives, were redacted.

Yesterday, the largely uncensored version was published, and it could not have been more critical of former DAC Rodhouse – of his judgment, of his decision-making and of his professionalism, which ultimately resulted in £2.5million of public money – and 16 months – being spent on the say-so of a single ‘source’, the now convicted fantasist Carl Beech, aka Nick.

He's the fall guy, and deservedly so, but the rest of his team hardly cover themselves in glory:

One crucial lead was a ‘corroborating’ witness called Fred. ‘The DAC,’ said Sir Richard, ‘reiterated the need to explore all options regarding Fred.’ Yet data that could have established his whereabouts and identity was never examined.

‘This is a classic demonstration,’ said the judge, ‘of the difference between investigating and believing an allegation.’

It turned out after Operation Midland was closed in 2016 without any arrests that Fred was Nick using another email address.

Basic investigative policy thrown overboard due to the prevailing climate at the time. So why isn't some criticism falling on those who spread the policy of always believing the victim? 

People like Kier Starmer and Alison Saunders, who steamrollered this policy through, ensured it spread throughout all branches of our so-called 'justice system' and who never faced any consequences either.

They are just as culpable. As are the politicians that saw them into their roles and never uttered a peep. I'm looking at you, Cameron and May.

Well, My Irony Meter Just Exploded. Again.

Speaking as a member of the Green Party, Councillor Pete West said: “According to the council, there is no scope for warning before fines.

“Green councillors have received a great many complaints from both residents and small businesses who have been at the receiving end of a heavy-handed approach being taken by 3GS on behalf of the council.”

Green councillors complaining about onerous and heavy handed demands on the public!

What next? Labour Party councillors whining about an increase in vibrancy in their neighbourhoods?

Oh, We're Listening, All Right...

...it's just that we all know you're talking utter bollocks:

Ed Willis, 27, a rough sleeper on St James’s Street, said: “It’s got to the point where I’d rather die on the street than live in a hostel.

“I can’t even live in my home town.

“I sit here with a razor blade cutting myself and people just walk past. How much does one person have to suffer for people to care?

“I blame everyone in authority - even the Queen.”

 Of course you do....

He said the main reason homelessness is on the rise in the city is that rough sleepers are increasingly moving to Brighton from other cities.

Of those spoken to, two were from Blackburn, one from Newcastle and another from Glasgow.

Because Brighton is attractive to them. Why would they come otherwise? So there must be lots of people listening.

Surely A Better Question Would Be 'How The Hell Did She Know?'...

Gina Martin, 25, spotted a man’s phone screen at BST Festival in Hyde Park last month, saw a woman’s thighs and underwear, and was "shocked" to realise the crotch in the image was her own.

Does she sew a little nametag into her knickers, or something?

The copywriter said the Met Police told her they could not punish the man because he had "done nothing illegal", so she launched a petition – which has now amassed more than 55,000 signatures - calling for "upskirting" to be added to the Sexual Offences Act 2003.

Oh, for pity's sake...

“More than 55,000 people have signed my Care2 petition now, but it may not reach 100,000 and get a definite hearing in parliament. But I think if we can get enough women to write to their MPs demanding action, it can get discussed and the law may be changed.

“Section 67 of the Sexual Offences act needs to be amended to label ‘up-skirt photos’ or ‘creepshots’ as a sexual offence. Period.”

You don't think we maybe have bigger Tube-travel related problems to deal with right now..?

Simon Myerson QC told the Standard: “Making upskirting a specific offence would be helpful.

“I would try to work it around a definition of voyeurism. At the moment it involves watching other people engaging in sexual activity and I would try and get a definition that says taking photos of someone’s underwear or private parts – making sure to be careful to exclude swimwear and tight leggings etc or you get into a murky situation – is an offence, unless the person gave their express consent.

“The ‘upskirter’ could then potentially have their card marked as a sexual offender and go on the Sexual Offenders Register.”

Or, to translate: "Fantastic! More work for me & my colleagues arguing over how many angels can dance on the edge of a pin what constitutes a 'upskirt' shot and what's just an unfortunate angle to take a selfie from! And who cares if some bloke has his life ruined for a victimless crime? Not us! Trebles all round..."

But We Are Told Not To Encourage Vermin...

...and if that goes for rats, pigeons & urban foxes, why does it not go for beggars too?

Southend could become the first place in Britain to install lockers for rough sleepers to store their belongings.

You have got to be kidding me!

The project, headed by Quiller Hawkins of Solidarity Lockers UK, has taken inspiration from a similar scheme in Lisbon.

ACA Portugal, which is behind the yellow metal cabinets, is now working in partnership with Mr Hawkins. He came up with the idea after speaking to a homeless person who had their guitar stolen. The lockers, which could soon be installed in Southend town centre, will allow people who are homeless to store their belongings safely - reducing the risk of them being robbed and allowing them to own more clothes than they can carry.

Southend is already far too attractive to beggars and homeless drug addicts, thanks to the proximity to London & the antics of group like Harp, which exist solely to ensure that shopkeepers have to shoo beggars away when they open up in the morning.

The lockers will also have an address, as they come equipped with a letter box - meaning that the person using it can register with the NHS and get allocated a National Insurance number.

Not necessarily their own, either!

Mr Hawkins is drawing up plans for the project alongside Mark Flewitt, Tory councillor for housing, planning and sustainability. Mr Flewitt said: “I am optimistic that any measure, soft or otherwise, if it starts giving people some dignity it will encourage people to try harder and, more importantly, the authorities to try harder.

“If we help one or two people then it could make a huge difference to their lives, as they will feel like they are being paid attention to.”

The only people that should be 'paying attention to them' is the police. Begging should be dealt with like any other crime, zero tolerance.

Mr Flewitt told the Echo he has not yet formally taken the idea to Southend Council as he and Mr Hawkins believe it is best to publicise the idea first and gauge reaction from the community.

Of course, the only 'community' that'll actually be listened to will be the tiny minority of SJWs and charities employing people to ensure these people are carefully farmed like sheep...

Hard Cases, Bad Law...

A woman abused by the leader of a child grooming gang in Rotherham is pleading for a royal pardon.

Sammy Woodhouse has revealed her identity to call for a crime amnesty to encourage other grooming victims to come forward.

 Hmmm, why would this be needed?

She wants to see a ‘Sammy’s Law’ believing she could face years behind bars for crimes she was made to commit as a young teenager.

 Ah. Well, only someone with a heart of stone could possibly deny...

Wait!

Mr Hampton also said Spencer played a key role in the abuse. She was jailed for 12 years in 2014 when she was found guilty of 16 counts of arranging and causing child prostitution in Sheffield.

As her guilty verdict was read out in court, Spencer shouted: 'I'm not f****** going back to the cells.'

Spencer played a key role in the abuse, the court heard.

The court heard she plied one girl with alcohol and threatened violence to force her to have sex.

Bring in this law, and I guarantee you Spencer's lawyers would be using it.

Cuts Have Consequences, They Say...

Michael Hoy, a Rochford councillor said: “I was down there and it blocked the whole road, no one could get through. It was awful.

“It looked like a tipper truck had just dropped its load and left, it was clearly commercial waste. I worry that this is a sign that it will get worse because some recycling centres no longer takes garden waste.”

What?

Stuart Wilson, a councillor for the Hullbridge ward, added: “It looked like this had been done by a professional.

“It is definitely more than a coincidence that this has happened since they banned the disposal of garden waste at sites. It was inevitable this was going to happen I suppose. That is why the opposition voted against it at Essex County Council because we knew this would happen.”

What utter cretin thought that was a good idea?

A spokesman from Rochford Council said: “We were contacted at about 8.25am with a report that garden waste/felled trees had been fly tipped and that the road had been temporarily closed as a precaution.

“When our contractors, Suez, arrived the debris had already been cleared to the side of the road. They have had to arrange for another contractor to remove the waste later.”

Dave Sperring, Portfolio Holder for Environment, said: “It is truly shocking that anyone would be selfish enough to do this.”

Or short-sighted enough to realise that it would happen?

Simon Walsh, Essex County Council Cabinet Member for Environment and Waste, said: “The Council took the decision to clamp down on the illegal commercial use of Recycling Centres for Household Waste, which had been the cause of a huge cost to the taxpayer.

“We have already considerably reduced the amount of commercial waste illegally going to our recycling centres and there is no evidence that improving enforcement has led to an increase in criminal behaviour ...”

Apart from the great big pile of illegally-dumped waste on the front page of the newspaper, you mean?

This Could Prove Interesting....

A Northampton taxi company is now offering a service in which it can pick up customers and their four-legged friends - despite most of its drivers voting against the idea.

It will, of course, cost. But not much.

Bounds Taxis, which is based next to North Gate bus station, says it canvassed all of its 350 drivers over the idea of allowing dogs in their cars, and that 15 per cent (52) agreed.

As a result, the firm says it will now be carrying out the 'dog friendly service' at a charge of £3 per fare, although only the drivers which agreed will be offering to do so.

Now, if everyone in Northampton asks for this service - whether they have a dog or not - I think the other 85% of the staff might just get the message...

Consequences...

Banks have become increasingly wary of offering services to organisations sending money overseas because of stiff penalties introduced to stop illegal transactions on their books.

The Government has delegated a role to banks to monitor the potential financing of terrorism, which means they must report suspicious financing or money laundering or face penalties. As such banks scrutinise clients sending money to parts of the world connected with terrorism.

Which is what we all want, right?

The Nicaraguan Solidarity Campaign organisations chose to bank with Co-op because they believed that it was different from other banks,

Yuill said. “What they promoted and implemented corresponded more closely with the values and ethics of the groups concerned in particular equality, international solidarity and the protection of human rights and the environment,” Yuill said.

Awwww, dry those tears! You aren't special, and nor is the bank.

It Seems Whenever You Do Something To Assist The Disabled..

...you run the risk of creating more of them!

A total of 307 incidents were recorded last year, three times the number before the £1.5 billion walk-through fleet was introduced on the Metropolitan, Circle, Hammersmith & City and District lines.

The problem is worst at Baker Street, where 52 people — one a week — fell last year. Blue warning lights have been introduced to alert passengers to the bigger gap between train and platform.

Transport for London today admitted problems were exacerbated by making the new S-stock trains level with the platform to improve wheelchair access.

Ooops!

The RMT and ASLEF of course see this as a reason to immediately push for more staff. But, I dunno...

TfL was unable to provide details of injuries sustained by passengers but said the falls were caused by “distraction from use of smartphones, rushing [and] intoxication”.

Sounds more like we should let Darwinism run its course to me.

"You've done a man's job, sir. I guess you're through, huh?"

Superintendent Rory Freeman, local policing area commander for South and Vale, praised the officers' actions for their "bravery and professionalism".

He said: "This incident highlights the inherent dangers and risks attached to policing. I would like to commend both officers who were injured in the line of duty for their bravery and professionalism.

"I would like to praise all staff and officers who were called to and continue to investigate this incident."

 Shocking! Awful!

Steve Trinder, a retired Thames Valley police officer and current Mayor of Wantage, said the attack was a reminder of how dangerous an officer's job could be.

He said: "From my 30 years in the service and having worked with all sorts of criminals from burglars to murderers you never know what you are going to come across.

"Quite often officers are there on their own dealing with very serious incidents and you just have to think on your feet.

"I remember when I was up in Yorkshire during the miner strikes and they had put a breeze block on a car and let it go into us. Even now with all the equipment officers are given it is still so dangerous."

"All we wanted to do was just catch the baddies and keep the community safe."

Well said! When two burly coppers aren't safe from...well, what was this incident that put them in hospital? It must have been a full scale riot, surely?

Two female police officers were rushed to hospital after being injured while breaking up a morning street fight between two men in Didcot.

One officer suffered a head injury and her colleague injured her wrist during the attack at about 6.30am yesterday. They had been called to the A4130 between Vauxhall Barracks and Great Western Park to defuse a fight between two 20-year-olds.

Comments are closed. How odd...

That Law Of Unintended Consequences (Part 45689087)…

Mr Glanville, 60, from Billericay, was arrested in connection with the murder probe along with a 54-year-old man from Basildon after the death in July 2015 and had been due to answer police bail in May.

Essex Police announced yesterday that the men will face no further action and an inquest into Mr Gallagher's death is due to take place.

It took a year. A whole year!

That’s a stunning new level of utter incompetence and slothfulness even by Essex Police standards, isn’t it?

His widow, Linda, said she had been left "devastated" by his death and has requested the case be looked at again, according to a national newspaper.

The Crown Prosecution Service said: "We have had an application from a family member under the victim's right of review for the decision to be looked at again and we will be doing so."

How is it that someone who breaks into your house and sets about you and your possessions can now be considered a ‘victim’ if you kill him in self defence?

Don't Say We Didn't Warn You....

Once, most fur came from Italy and France, where animals have to be kept in minimum-standard conditions. This kept the price high and ensured that it was only used on high-quality garments.

But because there are next to no welfare standards in Asia and battery farming is rife — some farms have up to 10,000 animals in tiny wire cages — fur can be produced for a pittance from rabbits, mink and foxes, as well as more unusual creatures such as raccoon dogs — a wild animal, resembling a fluffy raccoon.

A 70 cm strip of raccoon dog fur — enough for a hood trim — can be picked up for as little as a pound.

Something that was predicted by anyone with a brain when the animal rights loons were on their anti-fur rampage, and was ignored in the flurry of virtue signalling and hypocrisy.

The other problem is that consumers are now used to such realistic faux fur that it’s hard to tell what’s real and what isn’t.

Not for me, it isn't. I can always tell.

...with fur now so cheap, animal lovers and vegetarians may find themselves unwittingly buying into the fur trade, which they abhor.

Awwww, it'd take a heart of stone, wouldn't it?

The Real Threat, As Ever, Is Compensation Culture…

One Oxfordshire lock keeper, who didn't want to be named, said he had used his safety ladder three times already this year to rescue people who had fallen in the river.

He said: "This proposal is seriously dangerous, and the fact they haven't even asked us whether we can use our ladders is bizarre.

"You only need to Google 'carbon fibre ladders' and you can find lightweight ladders – there must be some reason behind this other than safety."

With regard to the proposed ban on fire extinguishers he said: "They have told us we should throw them a life ring, phone the fire brigade, then stand there and watch.

"Given how remote some of our sites are, it's just ridiculous – the fire service is under enough pressure."

Another Oxfordshire keeper said: "Every single lock keeper is up in arms about it. "What do they expect us to do, just stand there watching people drown?"

Well, public sector employees often have no problems with that…

But what’s prompted this move? Is it the ubiquitous ‘elf n’ safety?

… in a letter seen by the Oxford Mail, EA waterways manager Andrew Graham told lock keepers: "Our water training and rescue providers have recently reviewed our use of fire extinguishers at lock sites and have advised fire extinguishers should be present only if risk assessment requires it for staff to extinguish small fires or escape from buildings on the lock. "If the EA provides fire extinguishers for public to use on board boats in the lock, there is a duty of care and a liability issue, so would recommend they are removed from public areas. EA staff should not be fighting fires on boats in the lock."

Aha! No, it’s more the propensity of the increasingly bovine British public, goaded by ambulance-chasing shysters, to sue at the drop of a hat for the slightest little thing that they think they can claim is someone else’s fault.

The letter concluded: "Having extinguishers at lock sites would leave the temptation for our dedicated and committed staff to use them, despite not being trained to do so, in the process putting themselves at risk.

"It could also lead to a false sense of safety to boaters."

Doesn’t that apply to any public safety equipment, then?