Grieving relatives have been left distraught after a council banned them from dressing loved ones in their favourite outfits in a crackdown on pollution.Yup, councils now abrogate to themselves the right to tell us how to dress our deceased – for Gaia!
It means an end to people being cremated wearing their football shirts, or parents placing soft toys in children's coffins.Because it’s killing polar bears if you bury your dead child with a Chad Valley polar bear soft toy. Or something…
Kirklees Council in West Yorkshire is the only authority in the country to adopt the approach, according to a national cremation body.So, it’s a money-making scheme too, is it? Fantastic!
On top of the normal funeral arrangements, mourning families in Huddersfield are being forced to spend £60 on natural-fibre shrouds or seek permission from council officials to help honour their loved ones' last wishes.
Who’s got the contract for these ‘enviroshrouds’, I wonder? Al Gore? George Monbiot? Some other watermelon?
One man, who did not want to be named, was shocked to find his relative could not wear the 100 per cent cotton outfit she had chosen before she died.And now that this pointless (and heartless) decision has come to light in the media, are Kirklees backtracking wildly?
He said: 'We knew it had to be natural fibres so she chose a top and slip that was 100 per cent cotton.
'But when the funeral director came we were told she would have to wear a special shroud. He pulled out a swatch of different colours to choose from.
'We didn't know what it looked like and when we went to see her in the chapel of rest, we couldn't believe it.
'It was all fluffy and frilly. The deceased would not have wanted to have been seen dead in it - unfortunately she was.'
What do you think?
A Kirklees Council spokesman said: 'Crematoria must maintain strict emission controls and it is because of this that Kirklees Council has a policy that bodies be dressed in approved garments such as cremation shrouds and that no artefacts are placed within the coffin.Well, no wonder it was an unnamed spokesman…
'If a family wish to request a cremation in something other than a funeral shroud the funeral director needs to provide sufficient evidence that the proposed alternative was made completely of natural fibres. '
Listen, you little snivelling apparatchik – you aren’t employed to decide the minor funerary arrangements of the loved ones whose rates keep you in a comfortable job and a guaranteed pension.
You are employed to keep the streets clean, ensure the drains work, and the roads are pothole free. And nothing more.
Did even Soviet Russia aspire to these depths of control over their citizens lives?