Tuesday 20 April 2010

Yasmin Needs The Smack Of Firm Government…

She’s at it again:
Excuse me, could I please? May I intrude, sneak into the parties – a ligger, no less…
What!?!

Oh, I misread that. Carry on, Yasmin…
… and say something on the political contest? We need to talk about things gone missing. And first among these is that after all the argument and all the promises, access and influence still seem confined to the same old magic circle – white, middle-class, male and top universities.
Oh, here she goes aga…

Oh! She’s ahead of me:
There she goes again, hoary Ms PC going madder ever year that passes.
Wow! A moment of self-awareness?
Getting madder, actually.
Oh, definitely!

Well done, Yazza. But can she keep it up?

Ah. Seems the answer’s no:
Politicians like Theresa, Harriet, Tessa, and Caroline are elbowing in and I do salute Martha and Caroline and Sarah and Kirsty and Rita and others who dauntlessly carry on doing a fine job.
You must be deluding yourself, then...
But they didn't get the big TV debates and are unlikely to get the key spots on election night. If I am wrong, correct me and make me a happy woman.
I think it’s only a certain type of woman for whom ‘correction’ works that particular magic, Yazza…

And the reason the likes of Harriet Harman don’t get their faces on national tv is because even Gordoom realises what a vote-losing liability she is.

Still, Yazza’s smitten, like the rest of the UK:
Nick Clegg deserves the praise heaped on him. He has style and substance and though immersed in the bog of politics still smells of integrity. Last year he invited me to write a pamphlet on the need to develop a progressive national British identity.
That couldn’t be why you have suddenly fallen in love, could it? The fact that he asked you to write him a little puff piece is why you are twittering like a lovestruck 11 year old who just saw 'Twilight'?
His party has alone stood up for fundamental human rights and liberty...
Well, not all of them
But though it now has huge support from Britons of colour, the party has failed to select any black or Asian candidates in winnable seats.
Somehow, I just knew it would all come back to identity politics eventually…
I thought this year would be a breakthrough but it was not to be. Grabbing our votes without treating us seriously as equals is an ignominious old Labour trick, now passed down to the Lib Dems. Neither enlightened nor fair, that.
Oh, grow up! What’s ‘fair’ about being selected precisely because you have certain physical attributes?
Labour has selected candidates of the future – young, female, black, Asian, working class – but more importantly, sharp, educated and ultra-confident.
Not so fast. Remember what happened to ‘Blair’s Babes’…
We watch with interest what happens to them next – whether, like their predecessors they will simply become popcorn in the party machine or will ensure real democratic accountability.
I’m betting the answer’s ‘Yes’…
The New Tories have brought in diverse candidates of all backgrounds, for which Cameron gets credit.
Single-issue politics for a single-issue columnist…
The Tories want to shrink the state and big up society and community. They are expediently silent on equality.
Maybe that’s because they see it isn’t a vote winner, outside of the rareified bubble of Islington?

And it seems Yasmin fears apparent Tory enthusiasm for localism more than anything:
Local areas could decide that no help will be given to drug addicts or asylum seekers or ex-cons. What happens then?
We save some money..? And stop funding behaviour we don't wish to encourage?
Or neighbourhood schools and social services may opt out of equality and health and safety laws. If we think we are fragmented and divided now, just wait for the emerging people's dystopia.
Yes, it’d be chaos! Anarchy! Save me from that, BigGov!
So much to clarify and so little time. This election is being fought over by (mostly) men obsessed with the recession and MPs' expenses. If politicians want more voters to come out, they need to widen the debates and engage with issues they are ignoring.
Perhaps they are engaging with precisely the issues that the voters really want, Yazza. Do you ever think about that?
It's not only the economy, stupid.
No, it isn’t.

But it isn’t ‘diversity’ or ‘equality’ or any of the other issues that you might think it should be, either…

8 comments:

TDK said...

Perhaps ..(the politicians).. are engaging with precisely the issues that the voters really want

heh! your very own Yazza moment!

It must be infectious

Jonathan Miller said...

Sacking Tonge (who in my opinion is a raging anti-semite) was probably the most laudible thing Clegg ever did (or will do).

AntiCitizenOne said...

Will someone remind YABmonster that the U.K. has had no less than a female head of state and a female Prime-Minister at the same time?

g1lgam3sh said...

I truly despise this person...I try not to but there it is.

Greencoat said...

"I truly despise this person...I try not to but there it is."

Oh, go on - hate her like fuck like everyone else.

JuliaM said...

"heh! your very own Yazza moment!"

Oh, I don't think for a second they are telling the truth!

"Sacking Tonge (who in my opinion is a raging anti-semite) was probably the most laudible thing Clegg ever did (or will do)."

Pity it took him so long. And there are still senior people in the party that just don't get it.

"Will someone remind YABmonster that the U.K. has had no less than a female head of state and a female Prime-Minister at the same time?"

That doesn't count! Don't ask why. It just doesn't.

David Gillies said...

The first Jewish PM (albeit converted) was a Tory. I cannot conceive of Labour ever electing a black leader. I can imagine the Conservatives doing so. That is why, even though they are a million miles from where I wish them to be, they are still inherently a much more decent party than the Socialists and Social Democrats of Labour.

Surreptitious Evil said...

Just what in the Tory proposals for, for example, parent run schools, does the raving lunatic think would allow them to opt out of the law of the land?

Oh, sorry, juvenile debating tatics - take something your opponent said, stick a ridiculous straw man on the end of it and then rant about how bad that would be.

You see, Yasmin's proposals for supporting immigrants will mean that we will each end up with an Indian family camped in our living rooms and a Mosque in our spare bedrooms - that's an appalling expansion of state power (and as most Indians aren't Islamic, is going to lead to nuclear war being waged in every private dwelling in the country!)