Monday 10 December 2012

Well, I'd Probably Need Tranquillisers If I Lived In Coulsden...

Working mother-of-three Sienna Jones tries to feed her family of five (Ed: Eh..?) from the plot.
She said: "My strawberries, onions, beetroots, shallots, garlic – they have just flattened everything. Netting is very expensive, and I may as well just go to the supermarket.
"You cannot cull them because the bullets travel too far [a danger in an urban area]. I would rather they were tranquillised and taken to another site.
"If others came back, they could do the same next year."
You know, if I lived in Coulsden and bullets started flying around, my first thoughts wouldn't be 'Oh. Must be deer culling time'...

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

Re: Mother of three, family of five- three kids, herself and their father maybe? may not be as common as it was but still not that unusual..

John Pickworth said...

"There is another site in the borough which also has deer and most of the plot-holders have put up fencing around their plots which, apart from keeping out the deer, also keeps out birds."

And low orbiting satellites?

Noggin the Nog said...

Aside from the pleasurable aspect of growing your own, there is no way you can do so at a cheaper rate than investing the time spent on the lot in overtime at work and buying bag fulls for pennies at Sainsbury's.

Tatty said...

her family of five (Ed: Eh..?)
A family has a daddy (?!)...shocking, innit. In the interests of political correctness we could even assume it may also be another "mummy". Or perhaps a pet ?

Hmm...who really knows what "officially" constitutes a family nowadays.

Netting is very expensive, and I may as well just go to the supermarket.

If it's just to cover up the veggies again then pea netting is about £1.15 for 10 metres. You'd be lucky to get 5lb of spuds for that. Don't be silly, woman.

*rolls eyes*

Woman on a Raft said...

Venison.

Sorted.

Demetrius said...

Cue "April Showers"? Bambi, if you know what I mean. As for venison, see above, venison shanks done in a slow cooker are very tasty.

Ben said...

"[Cllr ]Wright is working with the council to help solve the problem.

He said: "The council knows there is a problem with the deer, in particular in the allotments.

"We're trying to see what can be done. As we all know our money is sorely limited.""

where was that violin again Julia? Those vicious tory cuts are clearly biting deep.

"bullets travel too far"
Use a shotgun. Or hit the target...

"[a danger in an urban area]"
Really? I would never have guessed.

"then pea netting..."
I'm a bit bewildered by this - it would need to be pretty sturdy netting to keep out deer - a fence would do the job better - and neither is particularly cheap given how high the little blighters can jump - but they're a long term investment.

That said, any cows or sheep that wander into our garden generally result in a quick call to the respective farmer - any pheasants or deer result in a quick stock-up of the freezer. Darn sight cheaper than going to the supermarket.

James Higham said...

How about Brummyland?

JuliaM said...

"Re: Mother of three, family of five- three kids, herself and their father maybe?"

Possibly. It's clumsy phrasing, thought. But then, it is a local paper, and the big ones are no better sometimes...

"And low orbiting satellites?"

Having one season netted some raspberries, I know just how difficult that is!

"Aside from the pleasurable aspect of growing your own..."

That really is the truth. And I'm not sure the difference in taste isn't just psychosomatic.

"Venison.

Sorted."


Indeed!

JuliaM said...

"where was that violin again Julia? Those vicious tory cuts are clearly biting deep."

These cuts seem as mythical as deer in Coulsdon...

""bullets travel too far"
Use a shotgun. Or hit the target..."


Spot on!

"How about Brummyland?"

Even more than tranquillisers!

Andy said...

Barbed wire maybe?