Thursday, 18 September 2014

And Yet, You Look Like You Can Handle Yourself...

“It held me prisoner in my own property.“
Frankly, that's the sort of hysteria you expect from a 'Guardian' reading New Man, not a 53 year old dock worker from Canvey Island!
“My wife, Christine, even threw a pan of water at it. She is terrified.
“I couldn’t get any closer than four feet to it. What happens if it bites me?“
What, from four feet away?
Mr Tappin, who works at Tilbury Docks, was unable to go to work while he tried to sort the problem.
/facepalm

11 comments:

MTG said...

A large house spider once kept me prisoner in the bathroom. There was just no reasoning with it, but fortunately I recalled that scene from Dr No and gave it a good heeling.

Anonymous said...

The ivy 'round my front door is growing really quickly and the police just don't seem interested! It's terrifying!

FFS, what a mardarse!

wiggia said...

I was waiting for the punchline that he felt the fox wasn't offering enough in compo for the trauma and day off work.

Demetrius said...

He should have gone outside and either marked his territory by natural means or shouted "Boo" loudly.

Ted Treen said...

I should imagine for the next 12 months or so, his kind compassionate workmates will be leaving Basil Brush figures & pictures in his locker...

And if not, why not?

Ian Hills said...

Surely they can be shot as vermin? People who read the Guardian, I mean.

Anonymous said...

Because Basil Brush is a RACIST!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1581817/Basil-Brush-racist-towards-gypsies-Complaint.html

Ha Ha Ha! Boom! Boom!

Ed P said...

For fox sake!

He's probably the sort of idiot who waits for crossing lights to go green, even though the road's clear in both directions.

Brightside Bob said...

Ian Hills: "Surely they can be shot as vermin? People who read the Guardian, I mean."

Thank you. Made my day!!! :)

Flaxen Saxon said...

Clearly this pussie has never owned a ferret. I have. Me and gramps used to go 'rabbiting' with old 'Shagger' in Tipton when I WERE a lad. Never worked out why my granddad called him shagger as he had his bollocks removed. Probably explains why the nasty old bastard used to bite me a lot (Shagger that is, not gramps). Would make me bad tempered as well. Interestingly, forty five years latter, and when I get a tan, my hands are full of white tracery scars left by old 'Shagger'. I loved that ferret. My granddad, not so much.

JuliaM said...

"A large house spider once kept me prisoner in the bathroom. "

They are ubiquitous this year!

"I was waiting for the punchline that he felt the fox wasn't offering enough in compo for the trauma and day off work."

:D

"He should have gone outside and either marked his territory by natural means..."

And he wouldn't have stood out in Canvey, either!

"Surely they can be shot as vermin? People who read the Guardian, I mean."

*wipes tea off monitor*