Sunday 21 September 2014

I Think The ‘Telegraph’ Is Hiring Ex-‘Mail’ Staff Again…

A man-eating leopard has claimed its latest victim, following a string of attacks on mainly drunken villagers as they attempt to make their way home.
We could do with a couple roaming most British high streets after pub chucking out time…
Belinda Wright, the leading conservationist and head of the Wildlife Protection Society of India, told the newspaper she doubts that leopards are targeting drunks, but rather that their behaviour made them vulnerable.
"Quite frankly when people are drunk and weave their way back home to the village they are easy prey. I don't think the leopard is targeting drunk people, just people stumbling along the path at night.
"I'm sure you won't taste any better because you've consumed liquor," she said.
Oh, I don’t know. We love coq au vin, don’t we?
Leopards and tigers usually turn to attacking humans when they are injured or old and can no longer catch dogs - their favoured prey.
Errr, no. Leopards yes, but tigers, definitely not!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is that too old or injured HUMANS that can,t catch they,re favoured prey?!!

Lord T said...

If they are choosing them because of their behaviour surely that is targeting them? But they are not just targeting them as they will take anything else that looks like easy prey.

Still sound like targeting to me.

Flaxen Saxon said...

Discerning leopards prefer drunks because their livers are marinated to perfection. But where are the leopards going to obtain the obligatory fava beans and Chianti?

Anonymous said...

Regular drunks have fatty livers, so fois gras for the discerning feline.

Anonymous said...

Ffffffffffffffffff!

JuliaM said...

"If they are choosing them because of their behaviour surely that is targeting them?"

Well, yes. But I suspect those with any physical disability would be so 'targeted', drink or sober.

"But where are the leopards going to obtain the obligatory fava beans and Chianti?"

LOL!

"Regular drunks have fatty livers, so fois gras for the discerning feline."

Good point!