Labour: Now Actively Encouraging BNP Votes

Labour have decided that their humiliation in the local and EU elections last week wasn't quite embarrassing enough. So, they've decided to:

1) Bring in new policies that will encourage future BNP votes:

Migrants will win fast-track passports if they stand on picket lines or knock on doors asking people to vote Labour, it emerged last night.

The Home Office says trade union activism and political canvassing should count towards the planned new system of 'earned citizenship'.

Migrants who complete 50 hours of voluntary work will be entitled to receive British citizenship after six years - two years earlier than if they do nothing.

2) Allow the Minister for Foot In Mouth to give the BNP further 'Look! They aren't playing fair!' ammunition:

The upcoming equality bill will make the British National party's (BNP) membership criteria illegal, Harriet Harman has confirmed.

Speaking during business questions opposite Alan Duncan, Ms Harman responded to concerns about the election of two BNP MEPs last week in the European elections.

Ms Harman said she was "shocked and horrified" by their success but went on to say its constitution - which bars non-whites from membership – would become illegal once the equality bill was passed.

"There is no place for a political party in this country to have an apartheid constitution and the equality bill will prevent this from being the case," she said.

3) Bungle the handling of Muslim terrorists to the point they have to be paid compensation thanks to their slavish adoption of EU rulings:

EU judges overruled the Government and the United Nations yesterday by unfreezing the assets of Al Qaeda 'ambassador' Abu Qatada.

The verdict, reached on human rights grounds by the EU's Court of First Instance, paves the way for the fanatic to receive a compensation payout controversially awarded against the British Government earlier this year.

Now, no doubt the left will scream 'foul' and say that these are not intended in any way to encourage more votes for the BNP.

So, one question, then. If they really were trying to get more people to vote BNP, what could they possibly do that's different...?