Hang On, Haven't We Been Here Before..?

Why, yes. I think we have:

Returning after the half-term break, the boys and girls at Foxhill Primary were shocked to find their school had been the subject of a violent break-in.

Children as young as five were greeted with a distressing scene: 'blood' was on the floor and police tape had been erected to protect potential evidence.

Worst of all a female teacher had a plaster on her head after apparently being attacked by an intruder.

Yup, you guessed it. This was all a hoax by the school again.

But this time, they decided they would nip those inevitable parental complaints in the bud by...not admitting it to them:

Unbeknownst to them, the whole thing was fake which had been staged by teachers at the Sheffield school as part of an educational exercise.

Even worse, the headteacher had decided not to reveal the truth to parents either.

Well, I'm sure that worked.

Mother-of-three Emma Whitehead, 28, said: 'The children didn't know anything about it. Some of them are just babies. They walked into the school hall and saw the blood and tapes.

'I have spoken to a number of parents and they are disgusted. A lot of children were frightened by the blood and the story they were told.

'I cannot see what the kids have learned from this. I can understand it if this had been done at a comprehensive school, but these children are too young to really understand what was going on.

Actually, I think you are a bit optimistic about the comprehensive schoolchildren's abilities there, Emma...

Mrs Shipman, the executive headteacher, said the youngsters were asked to help police solve the crime and a real-life forensic expert worked with the children on tracing fingerprints, mapping out the scene and analysing handwriting.

And that's what part of the curriculum?

'The problem-solving week was held to cover key skills in the school curriculum from creative writing through to science, numeracy and analysis.'

Remember when teachers used to be able to do all this stuff without becoming mini-Spielbergs and indulging their inner drama queens?

Yeah, me too. Still, the results are so much better now, aren't they?

Aren't they..?