Saturday was a sad day for the ranks of Florida's zooists – people who have sex with other members of the animal kingdom.Oh. Perverts, you mean? Well, why didn’t you say so?
On 1 October, a state law went into effect that bars erotic contact between people and non-human animals, "however slight". The misdemeanor carries a jail sentence of up to one year.So, no feeling a little hoarse* when in Florida…
Mention of bestiality typically elicits comedic cracks on hillbillies, polemics, as well as a resurgent intellectual interest in the topic.So if, as a result of this blogpost, you’re finding yourself Googling ‘Puppy Love’ and not meaning the Jimmy Osmond song, well, my commiserations.
If you do mean the Jimmy Osmond song, there’s no hope for you…
Turns out, there is a vocal contingent of bestiality enthusiasts. They think that human-animal eroticism is misunderstood, and decry both social and legal opposition to bestiality as a limitation of sexual freedom – unfair government intrusion into their bedroom (or barn) activities.Slippery slope, anyone?
A handful of made-for-tabloid bestiality arrests easily supports this thesis: people rallied against a north Florida man who asphyxiated a pregnant goat during intercourse, even screen-printing "Baaa Means No!" T-shirts.SNORK!
Floridians were just as outraged by a blind man who routinely had sex with his guide dog, "Lucky".…
…
No, not touching that one!
Discussion of the mandate has tended to veer toward cheeky jokes…Oh. I guess I better stop here, then?
* With thanks to Edwin for reminding me of that one...
21 comments:
Bestiality? Isn't that when you sleep with a ginger?
"So, no feeling a little hoarse* when in Florida…"
That's another keyboard ruined by a mouthfull of spat out coffee.
Actually it was Donny Osmond.
I can't believe I just said that.
Damn!
I'm going outside. I may be some time...
Imagine the consternation if this legislation was enacted in Wales
oh wait
bars erotic contact between people and non-human animals,
As you were, wouldn't apply
I think I should be left alone.... er I mean they should be left alone to do what they want.
Before I leave I perhaps someone ought to tell this young lady that next month's Turkish cultural dance gig in Miami has been cancelled.
And no, wooing doesn't make a difference.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3872060/Pet-sex-man-wooed-dog.html
I remember a programme on channel 4 some years ago all about those who 'loved' their animal partners.
One even married his horse. Pixel, I think her name was.
I've been mentally scarred ever since.
If you're brave enough, the documentary is on you tube. Search for 'animal passions'.
Enjoy. *Boak*
*rrrreeeeeeetch*
'Nuff said.
You forgot to add the classic song for this theme Julia :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCRE9qOgbug
It contains the best line ever (also applicable to many other situations): "Someone should tell him 'NO'"
Lynne beat me to it - it was Donny, not Jimmy. Jimmy was the long haired lover from Liverpool.
Likewise, how did I remember that?
One even married his horse. Pixel, I think her name was.
And think I already did the joke about it being a stable relationship.
So... was the horse groomed?
Can I just mention that Derby County are known as the mutton molesters?
Yes, yes, all very amusing, until you find you might be related to someone with an unnatural interest in four-footed folk. My distant ancestor would have been executed if he'd been found guilty at his trial for bestiality in 1834. He was acquitted.
His brother, convicted of sheep stealing, was less fortunate and was sent to Tasmania for 10 years.
It's all true, btw, but the trial must have been extraordinary :)
I'm amazed that Roy Rogers got away with singing about his "Four-legged Friend" for so long .. ;)
"Yes, yes, all very amusing, until you find you might be related to someone with an unnatural interest in four-footed folk"
My Mom's family are from Norfolk. In the norfolk dialect the word for someone who is into bestiality is an "Only Child" (ie doesn't have a sister).
*Hums the hit folk song "I've been banned from Banham Zoo...and the Dinosaur Adventure Park too"
Here the Norfolk Anthem: "I lost my virginity at Banham Zoo"
http://tinyurl.com/6j9jfjx
...don't blame me if you are damaged for life after listening
Longrider: you have summoned Osmond singing "Long-haired Lover from Liverpool" from the shadows into my cerebral cortex once again. I do not thank you for this. As a counter-move, I ask you to cast your mind back and contemplate the mysteries of a universe that permitted there to be such a thing as the Bay City Rollers.
You're welcome.
" Isn't that when you sleep with a ginger?"
Only a ginger seal...
"I can't believe I just said that.
Damn! "
Bwahaha!
"As you were, wouldn't apply"
:D
"And no, wooing doesn't make a difference."
*boggle*
"I remember a programme on channel 4 some years ago all about those who 'loved' their animal partners."
Ahhh, good ol' Channel 4 - the Freakshow Channel!
"You forgot to add the classic song for this theme Julia "
SNORK! There's also that famous rugby song, 'Bestiality's Best, Boys!'.
"..but the trial must have been extraordinary :)"
But probably not what Clarke has in mind when pondering whether to televise trials!
"Show me on the figure where the naughty man touched you..."
"As a counter-move, I ask you to cast your mind back and contemplate the mysteries of a universe that permitted there to be such a thing as the Bay City Rollers."
Checkmate!
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