You Vil OBEY ZE RULES!

Householders have been warned they have one more chance to start recycling, then they’ll risk a fine.

This is, of course, the food waste recycling scheme.

At present, Colchester’s recycling rate is below the Essex average and Martin Hunt, the councillor responsible for waste collection, hopes the move lead to at least half of waste being recycled.

He said further progress depended on a change of heart by the many residents who currently recycled very little or nothing.

And if they don’t plan on a change of heart, they’ll have it changed for them, by force:

The council is considering tough action to force such people to change.

After warning letters and visits by officials, those who stubbornly refused to join in could be fined as a last resort, he said.

I love the ‘stubborn refusal’ bit, as if it’s suddenly the done thing, the chic thing, to have rotting food waste outside your front door for a week! Who could possibly object to that?

Mr Hunt added: “We can’t go a lot further with people who refuse to do it without showing more of the stick than the carrot. We might seriously have to think about using the stick. ”

I must have missed something, because I didn’t actually see any carrot.

Where is it, Marty? Is it underneath the piles of rotting cabbage and baked beans in the food waste bin?

“We haven’t done it yet, but we have the right to issue orders to people if we find stuff in their black bags which shouldn’t be there, forcing them to recycle.

“I have never done that and I don’t want to do that, because I prefer to do it the other way.”

And what ‘other way’ would that be, then?

Repeatedly telling people that it’s for their own good, when they – not unreasonably – think they pay enough in council tax to bloated Town Hall bureaucrats already, and the least you could do in return is take away the rubbish quickly and efficiently?

But he warned: “This will be the last time we ask people nicely to recycle.”

And I can see how much of an effect you’re having in the comments…

Mr Hunt said: “Now we have the zones in place we will try to nudge more than a few people who don’t recycle at all to start doing some recycling. We will be going round, looking at doorsteps and finding out who is recycling and who is not. There are a lot of people who don’t recycle at all and I’m hoping to encourage them to start.”

If you’ve got the time and the manpower to doorstep people, you’re obviously overpaid and underworked.

Mr Hunt said 35 residents in the food waste trial areas – Mile End, Tiptree, Stanway, Greenstead, Fingringhoe and Abberton had refused to take part in the scheme.

Hurrah! Mind you, I think they’ve all commented so far…

In contrast, some Stanway residents had shown their enthusiasm by putting out their food waste caddies a week early.

Ah, there are always some, aren’t there?

Martin, I think you might find your name and reputation stinks as badly as those food waste containers by the time this is over…