Tuesday, 15 October 2013

That Dictionary's Getting Bigger Everyday...

Mr Jackson said Johnstone had a 'reasonable income' from benefit payments and could afford to make restitution.
Sheriff John Rafferty criticised Johnstone for not contacting Mr Jackson.
He said: 'It seems to me he’s not beyond communicating with if he wants to get in touch with you.
'A soul and conscience certificate should have been available for today because this has not come as any great surprise to him.
'It’s only because I can see huge practical difficulties with him being apprehended by the police that I’ll not grant a warrant in this case.'
Sentencing was deferred for a further two weeks.
Well, we could get the experts in, I suppose...


Joe Public said...

"ordering takeaway ................ paid for using somebody else's credit card ........... delivered to his home."

Not just a fat c@nt, a thick c@nt, too.

And unless he's about 7'6" tall, he ain't "40 stone".

Anonymous said...


He can give up his benefits for a couple of months, its not like he's going to starve is it. If he loses a few stone he could get a job and pay for his own pizza.

Anonymous said...

Well how did he get hold of a "stolen" Credit Card? Was it pulled inexorably towards him by the massive gravitational field generated by this porker? Assuming the picture is of him, let him go swimming near a Japanese Whaling Fleet... Problem solved!

JuliaM said...

"Not just a fat c@nt, a thick c@nt, too."

It's worrying that it always seems to be the dim ones that are caught...

"Well how did he get hold of a "stolen" Credit Card? Was it pulled inexorably towards him by the massive gravitational field generated by this porker?"


Anonymous said...

The stupid ones are easy to catch!

A few years ago I reported the theft of a woman's handbag in a pub.She cancelled her cards but one had already been used by the thief in a nearby Sainsburys to buy fags worth about £200 (before chip and pin-the crim forged her signature).
I went to the shop and got good pictures from the CCTV of the woman who stole the bag and used her credit card.
A few days later the victim called me to say that she had received an itemised phone bill for her mobile and that there was a phone number on the list she didn't recognise, timed after the theft of her bag and phone.It was a landline number fairly local to the area.
I reviewed the CCTV and saw that the crim was on a mobile phone immediately before she used the stolen credit card.
It turned out that she had called her own house phone to ask her husband what fags she should buy with the stolen credit card!!
Anyway this was before reverse 192 and a subscriber check would have taken ages due to more important cases getting priority.So I decided "what the hell" and I phoned the number and told the woman that she had won a prize and could I have her name and address so I could deliver it to her.She told me her details and said she would be home all evening.
Imagine the look on her face when I turned up to nick her.

Anonymous said...

It's nice to know what my taxes are going on.