A cross-party Parliamentary panel on social integration (APPG)...is chaired by Change UK MP Chuka Umunna.Gosh! What amazing ideas is it - formed to 'bring together people from different generations' - going to come up with, with this intellectual powerhouse at the helm?
Supermarkets are being urged to introduce a new 1p charge to use self-service machines...
The panel... claims £30million could be raised by the scheme to help fund community projects.The report is called 'Heal the Generational Divide', apparently. Hmm...
The report suggests divisions exist between older and younger people, particularly around Brexit, with research claiming that both the younger and older generations would be happy for the other to suffer if it meant getting their own way.
It also proposed schemes including a 'Take Your Headphones Off Day', tax breaks for care home volunteers and a national post-retirement volunteering scheme to bring together more people of different ages.
It is unclear whether or not Change UK will adopt the proposals as official policy...Hmm, well. Let''s see what people think.
The corner shop worker, who lives in Dartford, Kent, said: 'On the face of it then it doesn't sound a bad idea. Nobody is going to say they don't want to help the elderly –it's a win-win.
'But I don't think it will go down well with the younger generations. And the idea that could bring people together to help solve Brexit is just ludicrous.
'I don't think that could be done by anybody if I'm honest. I'm not sure charging people for doing something that has become such an ordinary part of everyday life will work.'
Mick Potter, 72, said it was a 'crazy idea' to think it could help bring people together over Brexit.
The pensioner, of Eltham, said: 'The young ones won't like it at all. If you see young people in this day and age they wouldn't give up a seat for an elderly person or help us out – so I don't think they'd support this.
'The idea it could help Brexit as well and bring people together is a farce. We have become the laughing stock of the world.
'I'm not sure I want to vote at the European elections because of what a joke it all is. The idea that charging people to use a self-service checkout is funding projects which in turn brings young and old together over Brexit is madness.
'Nobody can do that. I think the divide is too wide. We had the vote and that's it. People say well it's the younger people that will be the next generation but the vote was carried out three years ago.
'Some people find those machines confusing enough without people having to pay to use them. How would that work? '
People are taxed enough. 'What if the supermarkets wanted to take a cut?'
Luke Pollard, 25, of Gravesend, Kent, was also using the Eltham Sainsbury's and was not impressed with the idea. The student said: 'Isn't that why people pay the government taxes?
'I don't see how that's right. I know it's only 1p but it's more the principle behind it and the logic. Why should Parliament be getting people to pay more all the time?'
Full-time mother Cheryl Toon, 35, said she did not see how the proposals would work. Cheryl, of Dartford, Kent, said: 'I know it's not a lot of money but I don't think it's a good idea. 'It seems like a supermarket tax. I can't imagine the supermarket companies are happy about it.
'Isn't there more important things to be thinking about? Why isn't more focus being put it on actually sorting out Brexit? Rather than charging people because it's not been sorted.
'It's going to be normal members of the public paying for this and it's not normal members of the public who have made a complete mess out of Brexit – it's the politicians.'Well done, Chuka! You've actually brought the generations together after all!
They are united. In thinking you're a useless waste of oxygen, just like all the rest of the shower of shits in Parliament...