Saturday 26 September 2020

A Dangerous Felon Is Apprehended!

The court heard that the 25-year-old Mark D'arcy-Smith was having an after work drink with a friend at the Richmal Crompton in Westmoreland Place, Bromley, on November 8, 2019, when staff brought over a plate with a single banana on it and an accompanying receipt.
When the shocked communications professional told them neither he nor his friend had ordered the item, it was explained that they had received an order via the pub's app for a single banana costing 30p to go to table number 102 - the one they were sitting at. Mr D'arcy-Smith explained he felt humiliated by the incident, which he firmly believed was racially motivated. He said: "We both looked at each other then looked at the banana. It clicked that it wasn't ours. It was clearly sent by someone who was trying to be racist."
When he next walked past the pub even the memory of what had happened left him trembling and his hands feeling shaky, he said.

Oh, harden up, Princess! 

Kincella was arrested on 17 January at his home address.While he did not deny being in the pub and admitted to ordering the banana, he insisted it was done 'for a joke' and that he did not intend for it to go anywhere other than his own table.
He was charged on April 3.

Whew! That's a long investigation.  

After the result, the victim paid tribute to the investigating officer for her efforts. He said: "Hearing the verdict felt like a massive weight was lifted from my shoulders.
“I can't thank DC Heywood and the Met enough for their support and guidance throughout."

Well, there's one satisfied customer, anyway. 

Detective Inspector Stuart Hart, head of the Safeguarding Team, added: "There was no CCTV available, and it was not a straightforward matter to identify the suspect.
“This required a painstaking investigation by my lead officer, who paid meticulous attention to minor details in order to gather the vital evidence that led to this successful result."

How difficult could it have really been to trace an order from an app on a mobile phone, FFS!? One that required bank details..?

He was fined a total of £600 and has to pay costs of £620 in addition.

I bet the investigation and trial itself cost multiple thousands more. Is this really a good way to spend public funds? 

10 comments:

Michael said...

But if you are mugged, robbed or burgled particularly if the perpetrator is from the correct ethnic group you can be assured that you will be more likely to see aliens from their UFO dancing with the Fairies long before you experience a "Close Encounter of the Third Kind" and actually meet anybody from the Police. Be honest, how many have you actually seen loose in the Wild recently? In fairness, PCSO's do not count as such when observing, or "Twitching" for these poor lost Sheep.

Anonymous said...

With the police so busy with such heinous crimes it's no wonder they haven't been able to catch anyone for the stabbing to death of my neighbor. After all he was one of a group of 3 men at the time he was stabbed so it's really hard for the police to investigate. Maybe no revenue to be gathered catching murderers, that might explain it.

Anonymous said...

Michael, try being a motorist you will see plenty of them then busy taking in the easy fines. Failing that don't buy a TV licence, nothing attracts today's police more than easy pickings from the none violent normally law abiding citizens.

MTG 1 said...

Here's proof that intellectual disability was never an entry barrier into the police 'profession'.

Before attempting to crack some of the more challenging offences, the modern plod recruit can be found practising basic skills...like creating paper mache or crafting clay. In some stations, the recruit's motor skills are finely honed with the aid of traditional percussion instruments, such as hand drums. Singing can be used to help the novice plod identify feelings and utilize coping strategies anytime they feel overwhelmed. But it must be tough on these individuals when the time comes to be 'out there alone' and suddenly face mysterious crimes such as the Case Of The Solitary Banana Order.

Anonymous said...

A monkey that doesn't like bananas. Well, feck me.

I suspect that if DC Heywood or DI Stuart Hart finds himself being assaulted by a person of no particular description, and Mr Kincella is somewhere in the vicinity, DC Heywood and DI Stuart Hart might as well save their breath, as calling for help will be of little avail. Once again, plod makes an enemy to take the knee.

At least we know that D'arcy Smith is black, as well as possibly being the bastard that a double-barrelled name implies.

Penseivat said...

I trust that no banana, or other fruit, was harmed in the investigation of this offence.

ivan said...

Good grief, I am surprised the little snowflake didn't melt on the spot and disappear down the drain.

If that is the spineless idiots the country is producing now it is little wonder the government thinks it can walk all over the population - just wait until all the illegals stand up and say BOO.

Scrobs said...

My apologies for a lazy reply, but this was a recall I had from several years ago. Nobody took offence.

http://scroblene-webley-bullock.blogspot.com/2011/03/act-of-kindness.html

On the other hand the banana could have come from that great US Charity God, David Miliband!

Anonymous said...

@Scrobs,

Not the Dobbie who is a house elf!

JuliaM said...

"Be honest, how many have you actually seen loose in the Wild recently? "

In cars, quite a few. Walking? Hardly any.

"Maybe no revenue to be gathered catching murderers, that might explain it."

Surely there are other rewards? Fast-track to promotion, and all that?

"Here's proof that intellectual disability was never an entry barrier into the police 'profession'."

Don't think we can single out the police as unique in that regard. It seems widespread.

"On the other hand the banana could have come from that great US Charity God, David Miliband!"

😂

"Not the Dobbie who is a house elf!"

Perish the thought!