There Can Be Few More Obvious Warning Signs...

...than this sort of headline:

You know you're in for a chavtastic article!

The Hammers fan was carried in by eight loved ones, some of who wore football shirts with “Voycey” written across the back, to the tune of I’m Forever Blowing Bubbles.

Leading the service, Jay Belshaw described how mourners felt “robbed and angry” about the 23-year-old’s untimely death following a collision in Gidea Park earlier this month.

 Hmmmm....

“He touched the lives of so many people,” he said. “To have so many people here to pay their respects is a wonderful tribute.

“We will find the world a poorer place without him.”

Well, he did indeed 'touch the lives' of many people. I somehow think they weren't all happy about this, though.  They may even believe the world was a poorer place with him in it...

Jay raised a laugh when he recalled how as a teenager Craig had started a new school only to be expelled after one day for punching the deputy headteacher.

 I...

I just...

Is that really appropriate at a funeral?

Or was he planning to use it at the stag do, should the 'cheeky chappie' ever get around to marrying the woman he knocked up, and didn't want it to go to waste?

He also described how the “cheeky chappy” had set fire to a van in order to get the attention of Danielle Eyles, who went on to become his fiancée and the mother of his children.

Oh, Christ, stop! My sides! It's like something from 'The Daily Mash'!

In a heartfelt speech written by Danielle and read by a family friend on her behalf, she described how many saw Craig as “a loveable rogue”, but noted that the man who came home to her at night “had a soft side” and emjoyed sharing sweets with Rocky-Lee, five, Craig Junior, two, and Summer-Rose, one, while watching TV.

The gap between Rocky-Lee and Craig Junior must have been while he was behind bars!

Given the 'celebrity' connection in this hit & run, I suspect the trial might prove even more interesting...