...before 2020 bows out for good (riddance):
An exotic plant that fell out of favour when it was linked to suburban wife-swapping is now so popular that it has become the latest target for garden thieves.
Police are investigating a string of pampas grass thefts across Sussex amid reports that stolen bunches of the white feathery plumes can fetch up to £150 online.How on earth does one 'investigate' this?
Oh, silly me, it's not like that phrase means the modern police are actually doing anything except recording a crime number, I suppose...
One homeowner in Horsham, West Sussex, described how thieves armed with secateurs broke down her garden fence one night last month to strip every stem of her massive plant.So they aren't digging them up (confession time: I love pampas grass, all grasses in fact, and a well mature one has roots you'd need a mini-digger to shift) but cutting the heads off?
The exotic plant features in the designs of several upmarket home decorators. Celebrities such as Dani Dyer and Stacey Solomon have also displayed tasteful arrangements of dyed stems in vases on their social media sites.
Ah. Who could have suspected this was being driven by vacuous 'celebrities'?
Sahar Kasiri, co-founder and creative director of Elari Events, uses pampas grass in many of her designs, including a 9ft Christmas tree that gained 30,000 likes on Instagram.
She said a single stem of pampas grass can cost £25...
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!