Texts on Liam Clarke's phone revealed he had sent a Valentine's Day special offer text for discounted cocaine to his customers, as well as other drug dealing messages.
The 24-year-old was caught with up to £2,500 of cocaine, but he walked free from court after a judge heard he is expecting his sixth child to be born in two months' time.
At least he's working hard at something...
Peter White, defending, said Clarke pleaded guilty at the first opportunity and was entitled to a third reduction of any sentence as a result.
Mr White said: "He was using cocaine at the time and fell out of employment."
It was just an accident, see? Like he tripped, or something.
He told the court Clarke was 23 at the time and had two step children and two biological children, while shortly after the offence his third biological child was born.
Mr White explained that his partner is due to give birth to Clarke's fourth biological child in June.
Breeding his own criminal empire?
He told the court Clarke has "taken on a great deal of responsibility".
Really..? Sounds a lot more like it's the taxpayer who pays into the benefit systems that's taking all the responsibility to me...
The judge, Recorder David O'Mahony, said: "The strongest reason for suspending it is the effect your immediate custody would have on others. I have particular regard to the reference I have read from your partner."
Speaking about the offence, the judge said: "You were selling drugs for income to support your family.
"You did have a cocaine habit yourself and some was for personal use but the majority was to sell."
"The author of the pre-sentence report says you have not used drugs since then.
"You appear to have taken some steps to deal with your addiction."
The judge said he had read references from family members who "spoke highly" of Clarke.
Well, yes, I suppose they did. So what?
"I have taken an exceptional course. Many judges would have felt they were unable by sentencing guidelines to do it.
"What it does mean is if you commit any offence at all in the next two years you can be pretty certain you will go to prison."
Can he? I'm not so certain.