...here I was, arguing with friends about language: the example was raised of a training course for doulas (freelance, new age birth partners). A trans woman wanted to join the class, and while the teaching doula had reservations, she assented.
I didn’t get what the reservations were, to be honest: a doula is privately engaged – if you had a problem with a trans woman, you simply wouldn’t hire one.
Or bake that cake..?
The only objection I could divine was if you thought anyone who wasn’t a cis woman didn’t belong around childbirth; but that space has been unisex for years.
Yes, but the men there aren't pretending to be women, are they?
But back to the language problem: my friends told me the trans novice doula had gone on to object to the word “mother”, and this made the class impossible.
Of course he did. What did anyone think would happen as soon as he got a foot in the door?
I disagree.
Well, of course you do, because you're not very bright, are you?
It’s true that, in a medical context, trans men don’t want to be addressed as mothers, since it forces them to choose between their identity as an individual and as a parent, but it doesn’t follow that they want to police all of us into never again mentioning our mothers.
You've just been shown how a desire to be inclusive has backfired, with the inch-taker now demanding their mile. You've seen how language is policed, by first protest and then violence. You'd have to be wilfully blind or stupid not to see the direction of travel here...
Sometimes language does have to change.
And sometimes it doesn't. This is once such time.
The important thing, always, is to operate in good faith.
The important thing is to realise when your opponent has no such qualms, Zoe.
5 comments:
This is something that is getting worryingly common. It's a very similar scenario where a trans type joins either a woman centred group or a mixed sex group then starts making everything all about them or all about trans and because people have been frightened into not resisting the excessive demands of the trans types the group is either changed or destroyed from within.
It's happened I've been told in a mixed pub based knitting group after a transwoman joined then kicked off demanding that men be banned from the group. This TW has all but destroyed what was a friendly group.
Trans activists have also destroyed may groups that were mostly gay lesbian and bisexual but which included trans people. Over time the lesbians have been pushed out and the trans types have taken over and have turned a once inclusive environment to one that is hostile to LBG people.
Trans types have colonised and I mean tht in the worst sense of the word, Lesbian dating apps to such an extent that women who want to pair with a genetic woman are having to put in height restrictions on profiles so as to have a lesser chance of being matched with often abusive and aggressive trans types.
There's a good article on substack about how a lesbian student woke up to the dangers posed by trans activists and trans activism. This is well worth reading but shocking as it makes one realise just how much trans activists have hollowed out so much of our culture whether that it is straight general culture or LGB culture. See https://suedonym.substack.com/p/played-the-fool
if the trans wotsit objects to bring called a mother, so what? That doesn't stop the others being called mothers. If I was really bothered about this, and I'm not but have to do something while I'm waiting for my pizza to cook, ask the trans wotsit what he/she/they/etc, would like to be called and call them that. Simple. Pizza's done.
Penseivat
I think the largest part of the 'trans' problem is because there are the real trans women, ie. those that have gone down the route of a full transformation and fake trans women, ie. those that are in fact men dresses up and trying to act as women.
I know one of the real trans women ans she is indistinguishable from a real woman. She acts and sounds to be a real woman and is taken as such by all people she meets.
The fake trans women can be picked out at a glance and usually let everyone know they are, something that is totally stupid.
Ivan,
Your comment reminds me of a Sunday lunch in a pub near Crawley quite a few years ago - the Fountain reckoned that it was the northern outpost for Brighton. Saying that, there was a very strong trade from villagers who regarded it as their Local.
Anyhow, on this particular Sunday there were two or three people dressed in US Navy Whites playing the slots and there were two just leaving the dining room. Expensively dressed, well made up but they had very prominent Adam's Apples and one just could not walk on high heels.
Sadly the pub is no more - the land has been covered with Barrett homes or similar.
"This is something that is getting worryingly common. "
1. Identify a respected institution. 2. kill it. 3. gut it. 4. wear its carcass as a skin suit, while demanding respect.
"...ask the trans wotsit what he/she/they/etc, would like to be called and call them that. "
Humouring mad people doesn't really work as a tactic, does it?
"I think the largest part of the 'trans' problem is because there are the real trans women, ie. those that have gone down the route of a full transformation and fake trans women, ie. those that are in fact men dresses up and trying to act as women."
Spot on!
"Sadly the pub is no more - the land has been covered with Barrett homes or similar."
That IS a shame, sounds like a fun place.
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