”Just Give Us The Money And Shut Up…”

Badly behaved schoolchildren are set to face alternative punishment in the form of foot and head messages as a means of controlling bad behaviour.

Hmm, could work, depending on how hard you massage the little sods’ feet…

Sadly, that’s not what they have planned:

Lambeth Council in south London is to reportedly spend £90,000 next year sending the reflexologists into the schools - despite the fact there is little evidence such treatment improves behaviour.

Why should they care? It’s not their money, after all…

And they aren’t shy about their complete lack of concern over the image this presents to hard-pressed taxpayers, either:

Lambeth Labour councillor Paul McGlone said: "It's incredibly important that we address young people's behavioural problems and we make no apologies for using different and innovative methods but this obviously won't replace more traditional ways of dealing with anti-social behaviour.

"We need to deal with the root causes of young people's behavioural problems and nip them in the bud - prevention is better than cure."

There you go – no apology. You peasants shut up and pay up as you’re told to. What, you thought they worked for you? Boy, how wrong you were….

And are there any ‘more traditional ways of dealing with anti-social behaviour’ that haven’t been rejected by the clueless liberal elite that run the schools now?

Tory MP John Penrose dismissed the alternative therapy, saying: "Experienced teachers have a range of ways of dealing with badly behaved pupils and stroking their feet is not one of them."

Wrong tense, Mr Penrose – they had a range of ways. Today, not so much…

Mark Wallace, from the TaxPayers' Alliance, said: "How on earth is the education system going to succeed if there are luxuries given out for naughty children and nothing at all given to those who work hard and do well?

"With everyone struggling in the financial crisis, this is crazy money being paid out on a crazy scheme."

Are, I see where you’ve gone wrong, there, Mr Wallace. Firstly you need to define ‘success’. The system is a success because it allows the useless, bloated teacher’s union to increase their ranks – not because it teaches kids to read, write and behave themselves, because it clearly doesn’t do that.

And not everyone is struggling in the financial crisis – as pointed out frequently on blogs and newspapers, public sector workers like the teachers are sitting pretty, guaranteed a fat state pension that everyone else is paying for.

So you see, to them, it’s not ‘crazy money’ at all – it’s just business as usual…