Friday, 7 November 2008

Market Forces – I Love ‘em

Oh, I’m so glad my local cinema is a ‘Vue’….
Children will be banned by one cinema group from seeing the new James Bond film so that adults can watch it in peace.
Legally, because Quantum of Solace has a 12A certificate, children can watch it - although those under 12 need to be accompanied.

However, Vue cinema group found many adults resent children talking, texting and noisily eating in cinemas.
Great! Now we just need someone to stop the adults from doing that too…
Research and trials by Vue have prompted the ban on the young from selected screenings.

Mark de Quervain, Vue's sales and marketing director, said significant numbers of adults wanted to 'avoid disruptions that can be caused by audiences under the age of 18'.

Other films scheduled for over-18 audiences are The Day the Earth Stood Still, starring Keanu Reeves; Australia, a Second World War epic featuring Nicole Kidman; and Yes Man, a Jim Carrey comedy.
Hmm, can’t say I want to see any of those! Oh, well…
Industry body the UK Film Council has received many complaints from customers in its focus groups about people talking during showings and using mobiles, misdemeanours also sometimes committed by adults.
Aha! Still, I’m sure they have a useful and practical solution:
The Film Council, a government-backed body, proposed that greater vigilance by ushers and usherettes would rectify the problem - perhaps by shining a torch in the offenders face as in days gone by.
Hmmm, I think that only worked ‘in days gone by’ when thugs didn’t feel free to assault whomever they pleased. You’d have to pay usherettes danger money to do that now...


Anonymous said...

Apart from the general drop in the quality of films made in the '80s and '90s which put me off going to the cinema, it was the dire knowledge that I was almost certainly going to be involved in a ruck with people making a noise during the showing. In the end my wife refused to go with me, so we both stopped.

Happily, now in retirement, I have found that on the whole the quality of films has risen and we now go to the 2.00 pm showings when frequently we are alone in the cinema - and even if we are not, the only disturbance comes from the gentle snores of pensioners like us. Bliss!

Anonymous said...

It helps if you avoid half-term, too... ;)