Thursday 14 May 2009

"You crazy fools!"

Watching a tight T-shirt-wearing, cocksure man wearing a gaudy gold chain round his neck strutting down the street is often worth a phone-call to the fashion police.

But one force is taking the idea a step further and encouraging people to shop Mr T-wannabes to Crimestoppers in a novel - some might say barmy - plan to bring down the crime rate*.

In the latest example of innovative policing in Britain, the Gloucestershire force is encouraging members of the public to report people wearing too much 'bling' during the recession.
/facepalm
They are also urging people to shop anyone who drives flash cars or buys expensive items without the apparent means to afford them during the credit crunch.
What a fantastic scheme for nosy parkers, jealous neighbours and crusading busybodies everywhere!

Surely, this must have been inspired by the success of that other awful ‘initiative’, the ‘OMG! Are ur neighbours terrorists!?’ poster campaign so mercilessly lampooned all over the web.

I mean, that has been a success. Hasn’t it…?
The campaign, run with Crimestoppers, was launched by the force today under the title 'Too Much Bling? Give Us a Ring' with the aim of cracking down on those who live a lavish lifestyle on the profits of crime.
I’m guessing that doesn’t include MPs….?
Gloucestershire's Chief constable Dr Timothy Brain (Ed: How inappropriately named…) said: 'In the current time of financial uncertainty, those who live a lavish lifestyle with no discernable, legitimate income become even more apparent.'
And if it turns out they do, indeed, possess legitimate income not obvious to the informant, well, no harm, no foul, right? If you’ve got nothing to hide, why should you have anything to fear from a police investigation, after all?

Oh. Right. That whole ‘innocent until proven guilty’ thing.

Well, that’s just so last decade. Suspicion and paranoia is where it’s at in the Noughties, baby!
…Tory MP and former Home Secretary Ann Widdecombe expressed disbelief at the move.

She said: 'Is this a joke? If the police spent half as much time tackling crime and getting out on the beat as they do coming out with this ridiculous stuff, we'd all be better off.
Hard to argue with that…

* - just a small quibble here with the Mail’s terminology, but if this does indeed result in more detectable offences isn’t the crime rate going to rise, not fall…?

4 comments:

Rob said...

Given that large amounts of bling are usually worn by persons of a certain sensitive minority, the Fuzz are heading for a legal arse-kicking here.

I am looking forward to it. They are such a joke that I have lost all respect for them.

Dr Melvin T Gray said...

Were it not for high probability of being recognized as legitimate expenses, I would give consideration to reporting my MP for blinging a migraine inducing silver blue mohair suit with gold Rolex accessory.

JuliaM said...

"Given that large amounts of bling are usually worn by persons of a certain sensitive minority, the Fuzz are heading for a legal arse-kicking here."

Oh, absolutely! It's a plan that can't fail...

"Were it not for high probability of being recognized as legitimate expenses..."

That bar seems to be set so high, practically antything qualifies.

Von Spreuth said...

If the police spent half as much time tackling crime and getting out on the beat as they do coming out with this ridiculous stuff, If it was the police on the beat instead of the arseholes that infest the political ranks, ie above Chief inspector, then I would agree.

But the copper on the beat gets the shit every time, for the arseholes whose only interest is to laugh their arses off at the bog standard plod as he tries to do his job while being dressed in the clown suit of these ideas.

You know I reckon these pricks with scrambled egg on their hats are so up their own arses these days, that they have themselves a real good laugh at every copper that is injured or killed.

May be they even swap the CCTV pictures to wank over.

Because the ideas they come out with are JUST as destructive to the credibility of the beat man, and his ability to do the job PROPERLY.

Von Brandenburg-Preußen.