Saturday 23 July 2011

What I Want To Know Is, Was It Human DNA..?

A woman was caught out by DNA on her lipstick after staging a hate campaign against herself and trying to frame her husband’s lover.
And if you’re trying to imagine why her husband took a lover, well…


My eyes! MY EYES!!
Lyn Kitching went to extraordinary lengths to gain revenge on her former friend Andrea Pearce, who had told her she was having an affair with her husband Jason, 39.

Kitching, 27, threw bleach in her own face, stabbed herself with a screwdriver, sent herself death threats and started a fire in her house during a nine-month campaign against her love rival.
Luckily, the police didn’t tyake her seriously and..

Oh. Wait.
The incidents were blamed on Mrs Pearce, a married mother, and reported to the police.

As a result Mrs Pearce was arrested four times and spent 20 hours in custody over incidents she had nothing to do with.
*sigh*
Eventually police discovered the truth by forensic detective work.
‘Eventually’..?

Well, that’s OK then.

19 comments:

Shinar's Basket Case said...

Her 12 year old great grandson was also arrested this week for headbutting...

AndrewWS said...

Why is it that all three of the people pictured are so utterly repulsive?

Ranter said...

This story and the previous one about the 12 year old psychopath really do validate a case for compulsory sterilisation and eugenics generally in the UK. People like this should simply be removed from the gene pool by a bullet to the back of the head and the residue family charged (by deductions from their benefits obviously) for the bullet! Further offences within the same 'family' grouping should mean removal to a forced labour camp. I'm not sure if I am joking or not!

Anonymous said...

Coming soon to the Jeremy Kyle show.
Jaded

Anonymous said...

I think P J O'Rouke had the best idea. No abortions but give them a test at 18 if they are "Bums" then they discover abortion will be retroactive.

Captain Haddock said...

"Kitching, 27, threw bleach in her own face, stabbed herself with a screwdriver .... "

I'm assuming that the stab to the stomach with a screwdriver was a botched attempt to deflate herself ? ..

And that the accompanying photo was taken after the self-inflicted bleach attack ?

@ AndreWS ..

"Why is it that all three of the people pictured are so utterly repulsive" ?

Because that's the norm for residents of Hull ..

staybryte said...

I love the way the "Fail" story describes her as a "love rival." Quite Shakespearean.

Captain H. As regards Hull, I hesitate to say this...*hesitates* but I went there last year for the first time to visit some new acquaintances and I actually thought it was quite nice. The buildings in the city centre were quite handsome, found a couple of nice pubs near the waterfront, and the hotel was friendly and welcoming.

I know the place gets a terrible name, but from the little I saw I've seen worse.

Robert Edwards said...

The most tragic thing about all this is that these hopeless idiots actually have a vote, which I'm sure cancels out mine.

Eddie Willers said...

That man looks like what he is - a weaselly-faced chubby-chaser of simian intellect...some folk just have no self-respect.

JuliaM said...

"Her 12 year old great grandson was also arrested this week for headbutting..."

SNORK!

"Why is it that all three of the people pictured are so utterly repulsive?"

I did wonder if the skinny little rat-faced man on the left was the husband...

" I'm not sure if I am joking or not!"

I hope not. You make a lot of sense!

"I love the way the "Fail" story describes her as a "love rival." Quite Shakespearean."

"Something is rotten in the state of Denmark." And Hull.

Twenty_Rothmans said...

I always wondered what John Prescott's mother must have looked like.

"I'm assuming that the stab to the stomach with a screwdriver was a botched attempt to deflate herself"
Quality.

Anonymous said...

I'd like to see a picture of the woman he was cheating with? I bet she was too busy to go to court as she was probably doing a Vogue cover shoot.
Let's hope these salad dodgers aren't breeding.
Jaded

Anonymous said...

@ Jaded.

The subject picture irritated you more than anyone else because it reminds you of someone you cannot control.

Is it a lover or a complainant?

Anonymous said...

This story and the previous one about the 12 year old psychopath really do validate a case for compulsory sterilisation and eugenics generally in the UK. People like this should simply be removed from the gene pool by a bullet to the back of the head and the residue family charged (by deductions from their benefits obviously) for the bullet! Further offences within the same 'family' grouping should mean removal to a forced labour camp. I'm not sure if I am joking or not!

Ranter this is one of the funniest things I have read in a long while, Im still laughing now trouble is are you my evil twin because I said the same sort of thing only a few days ago.
Brilliant!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous at 1245 (or MTG?).Not sure what your point is.
I can guarantee I have met 100's of people like them.They will be unemployed,their house will be a shit-hole with sticky carpets,their TV will be a 50" plasma and on loudly all the time,the police will have been called to their house numerous times.
Police stereo-type because it's usually true.
By the way folks-you (we) are paying for their life-style.
Jaded

Anonymous said...

Good plod material here.

The Met have plenty of balloon size uniforms. Lyne can always get a few lesbian tattoos and she is a great liar. She must have other vices and could seriously intimidate a doughnut loitering in a Baker's window.

JuliaM said...

"I can guarantee I have met 100's of people like them.They will be unemployed,their house will be a shit-hole with sticky carpets..."

The sort where you wipe your feet AFTER LEAVING..? ;)

Anonymous said...

I happen to know Jason personally and have done for over 20 years. Looks are decieving, he is a very decent honest guy and was a great friend. He is one of those people you either love or hate and people make that decision before they get to know the real him sadly.

Anonymous said...

i do believe shes a fruit cake im ashamed to class him as family maybe he should leave the fat umpa lumpa im breaded balloon and the ferribys are just twoc'ers and think there big and hard yea rite lol