Wednesday 18 December 2013

Make….It….STOP!!! Part 258796874589

If you see a seven-ft yellow man outside Croydon Council's headquarters - don't worry - he's there to help you.
I… What?
Visitors to the council’s customer service centre will notice a whole family of the bizarre statues at Bernard Weatherill House from 8.30am to 11am.
The giant statues are part of an NHS campaign to stop people going to A&E when it is not necessary and there are better alternatives.
GAH!!! *hurls PC across room*
Croydon’s Clinical Commissioning Group is launching the campaign. It will highlight other options in Croydon where patients can get treatment from including the GP walk-in service at Edridge Road, minor injury services at Purley War Memorial Hospital and Parkway Health Centre in New Addington.
Later in the day, the Yellow Men will be in North End between the main entrances to the Whitgift and Centrale shopping centres, from noon until 5pm.
And a simple sign won't do? A leaflet? No, of course not...
Councillor Margaret Mead, cabinet member for adult services and health, said: “This is a fun and quirky idea which will drive home the all-important messages around when to go to A&E.
“Many trips to A&E are unnecessary, and people can be treated much more quickly and closer to home.
“With winter a busy time for A&E departments, the council wants to support our partners at Croydon CCG to help residents find out about the alternatives available.”
And enrich whichever consultancy team you hired at vast expense to come up with this, I suppose...


Fidel Cuntstruck said...

Okay, I'm missing something here?

How does a yellow statue tell me that I should explore other alternatives to A&E?

Unless, of course, the statues are to be fitted with a sign saying "HALT Citizen!"

The mind boggles ...

Furor Teutonicus said...

XX cabinet member for adult services,XX

Then why does she not fucking ACT like one!

Anonymous said...

86265624863 * 3 equals 258796874589

So your part number is not prime.

Neither is their idea.

The Blocked Dwarf said...

I expect the Chinese Community will have something to say about the giant and therefore 'threatening' yellow men....

And on the subject of giant inflatable male dolls- is that what the remit 'adult services' covers ?

Joe Public said...

"And a simple sign won't do? A leaflet? No, of course not..."

The irony is ............... the extra publicity generated by bloggers such as your good self, Julia.

Woman on a Raft said...

Croydon...surely I should be able to get a decent shamanism clinic and some voodoo poultice which causes my boils to leave and manifest instead on Jeremy Hunt's backside?

Bucko said...

Can't the staff on reception just say, "Look, it's a nose bleed. Bugger off!"

Antisthenes said...

You do not persuade people not many at least to do what you want by gestures unless you are holding a gun to their head. The problem in this case is not so much about education (some of which is indeed helpful but the benefit of doing it is outweighed by the cost of doing it) but incentive. Whilst the provision and funding of the healthcare continues the way it is then those using the the NHS's A&E units will continue as before and even rise in volume. Humans are responsive to environments and the NHS environment encourages misuse, waste, inefficiency and incompetence.

The Blocked Dwarf said...

Thrice now, the last few years, i have had to use the NHS 'Dial A Friend' thingy and have had to speak to a 'health care professional' ie the Girl-Who-worked-Lidl's-Checkout-Until-Last-Week.

Thrice I have been directed to A&E. INcorrectly.

I might have gotten better more accurate responses from the YELLOW PERIL...

The Blocked Dwarf said...

"Can't the staff on reception just say, "Look, it's a nose bleed. Bugger off!" "

Only if they want to lose their job for using homophobic language!

We don't talk of buggery nor sodomites these enlightened days.

Anyways, seriously, the reception staff at A&E have a job I wouldn't do without a stab vest and danger money. When I first visited an A&E in this country I wondered why the receptionists sat behind bullet proof glass ( the sort that will take a direct mpg burst).

I soon found out why. The whole night was an unbroken stream of the police bringing in drunks and I don't mean the sort of 'giving lectures in ancient Irish history' sorts of drunks.

It was men and women, often old enough to know better, in handcuffs and who were so far out of their tree they were sitting on Newton's head.

Abusive and violent doesn't describe how they were towards the staff. More than once I felt forced, despite being in great pain myself, to intervene -as the coppers each side weren't going to (probably weren't allowed to, actually).

blueknight said...

The yellow man is crying because he cannot get his man boobs done on the NHS. The message here is,you cannot get man boobs done on the NHS.
The one for piles sits on a cushion...

JuliaM said...

"So your part number is not prime.

Neither is their idea."


"I expect the Chinese Community will have something to say about the giant and therefore 'threatening' yellow men...."

What a splendid idea!

"Can't the staff on reception just say, "Look, it's a nose bleed. Bugger off!""

I bet they'd love to..

Carol said...

There is little hope of a simple and cheap leaflet helping the hapless folk of Croydon. On the same page as the article is a link to a man who, instead of first checking his McDonald's milkshake by taking the lid off, sucked mighty and hard on the straw and got a large mouthful of salt, which he swallowed and then vomited back up.

His account of his complaint to the store manager contains the inevitable legend....

"but what if this had happened to a child? This could have killed a kid."

There is thick, then there is Croydon.

JuliaM said...

"There is thick, then there is Croydon"

Ought to make that the town motto!