Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Blimey, Yaz, Want Some Cheese To Go With That Whine?

Every time I think Yaz has outdone herself, she goes one better:
Pictures of Kate Middleton appear daily on the front pages. Last week, she showcased clothes costing £12,000. Didn't she look lovely? She smiled and waved too – such an exhausting job, who would want it?
Listen to her pour bile into her syndicated newspaper column. Such an exhausting job, who’d want it?
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (what do these titles mean? Is a duke higher than a prince? Who bloody cares?) are preparing to visit Canada and the US for their first official overseas tour starting 30 June. Expect a flood of images, nauseating sycophancy, endless smiles and airhead fashionista commentaries.
Sounds rather like Obama’s inauguration, or his recent visit to the UK. Did you rail against those at the time, Yaz?
And the people are lapping it all up, like hungry cats round a cream bowl. The downturn? Economic hard times? Cuts and public sector strikes? All the people need are the diverting accounts of the undeserving rich to get by. Only the really curmudgeonly or perfidious Commies would say otherwise.
Errr, well, you said it, love!
Those of us who can't stand the circus are made to feel treacherous outsiders – a cold place to be.
Another thing that makes you feel like an outsider, Yaz? Is there anything, at this point, that doesn’t?
After the euphoria of the wedding, the phenomenal success of The King's Speech, the honeyed tributes to rude Prince Philip on his 90th birthday, I feel almost defeated. We republicans are losing the battle.
Awwww, shame. The majority ignores you on something else
In our flawed democracy, some are born to lord it over us, even if they are stupid, unattractive (in all senses), immoral, badly behaved, drunk, spoilt, adulterous, callous and irresponsible. Examples can be provided for all of these within the present lot of royals.
And the present (and past) crop of MPs too. What’s your point?
The point though is that even if they are perfect, they were handed status and wealth at birth and that is wrong.
The eternal socialist belief; ‘If I can’t be wealthy, then no-one else can!’
But, alas this country's not for turning. A cunningly managed restoration of popularity has ensured the future of the monarchy.
Ooooh, how that grates, eh, Yaz?
Charles will be King; then William. Kate, the millionaires' daughter, will beget an heir and they will live happily ever after. And the people will happily pay for them. There is never going to be a royals expenses row.
Well, no. And for a damned good reason...
Britain is barely recovering from economic depths it reached last year. More than 100,000 disabled children will no longer receive extra money to help them cope; many families are already living below the poverty line and more will join them as new rules are passed. Kate, meanwhile, wears a gown costing nearly £5,000 to raise money for charity. A fat donation without the costly extravaganza would have done more good and appeared less self-serving.
It doesn’t matter, you see, to the progressives, how something actually affects things, only how it appears.
Why aren't people more angry? They were with expense-claiming MPs who do long hours and put themselves up for tortuous elections.
Ah, well, you see, Yaz, thousands of tourists don’t flock to the UK each year to look at the private houses of MPs, or to witness Parliament passing laws.

They do, however, come for the pomp and pageantry of the Royal family. The monarchy brings in more money than it consumes, and so is a benefit, not a drag on the economy.
The furious brigade will send off missives about how I have no right to criticise "their" Queen. Let them remember she was my Queen when I was born under the imperial sun.
Here, though, most of the people consent to the most blatant symbol of inequality and celebrate it. Kate has given them more reason and the jubilee next year gives them another boost.
I wonder if she was in actual tears of disappointed rage when she wrote this, or if it’s just how it reads..?


AndrewWS said...

Yaz is mad, warped and wrong. We are not paying for the Royals (and even if we were, I'd rather pay for them than subsidize the Greeks and the EU). Their income comes from the Crown Estates, which were surrendered to Parliament by George III in return for the 'Civil List' which is adjusted annually by agreement between Parliament and the Monarch.

They don't cost the poor bloody taxpayer a penny and never have done.

Lynne said...

I wonder if the vindictive old bat would be so embittered if she found herself standing in Kate's glass slippers?

staybryte said...

Yazza's bitterness towards Kate Windsor nee Middleton is Steve Sailer's law of radical female journalism writ large.

English Viking said...

If the fat, ugly hag hates life in GB so much, why doesn't she piss off back to Uganda?

The truth about Royal expenses

Jim said...

To be perfectly honest I'd prefer to be ruled by a monarch and have to do as he or she says, because at least it honest. Do as I say or have your head chopped off. No messing around.

We just have the illusion of democracy, where we are ruled by the same people whoever you vote for and nothing ever changes, and the threat from our rulers is the same (perhaps less of the head chopping and more of the fines and imprisonment nowadays) - do as we say or else. But they pretend we have some say in the matter when we have none.

If democracy meant anything we would still have the death penalty, we wouldn't have allowed so much uncontrolled immigration and we could very well have left the EU by now. But our rulers will never allow us to have these things, because they don't want them. And there's not much we can do short of a bloody mass revolution to change it.

blindcyclists said...

I'm basically republican in outlook, but the most delicious irony of all is that if we had a referendum tomorrow on whether to keep the monarchy, I have no doubt the yes vote would win by a landslide.

And let us not forget that Yaz was just fine about being awarded an OBE in 2001 and only decided to get shirty about it in 2003 when Benjamin Zephaniah one upped her in victimhood top trumps by refusing his.

Dave H. said...

Just think how Yasmin missed a golden opportunity to make the world a better place: she could have stayed at home and, as she did here, spent all her time slagging off the ethnic majority, especially those at the top.

I would feel a bit sorry for the crocodile, however.

We are not worthy said...

"I feel almost defeated. We republicans are losing the battle."

Oh dear. Never mind; I expect you will rally round Yaz and continue to feel new, improved outrages on our behalf on other equally pressing matters. After all, sweetie... you leftards *think* about life properly while we less gifted workers don't, or can't. We need people like you to 'inform' us so we don't err from the path of correct thoughts.

Anonymous said...

Yaz is the worst sort of "liberal"

Utterly self loathing and a professional racist to boot.

I simply wouldn't give her the steam off my piss.

Ranter said...

I will raise several glasses when I hear Of this ghastly creatures death. The world will be a much better place without YAB.

Budvar said...

"I simply wouldn't give her the steam off my piss".

Oh come now you know you would, especially if she said "Pretty please".

Now me personally, I'd definitely piss on her if she was on fire (well ok she'd have to be engulfed in flames) but then I'm not a complete heartless bastard like some people...

David Gillies said...

Even if I had been the staunchest Republican in the land, the knowledge that Yazza hates Kate Middleton would turn me into a royalist on the spot. She is so full of vitriol that her spittle must be able to eat through sheet steel.

Zaphod said...

There's nothing here I can disagree with! :-)

AndrewWS's point is one that is not made often enough. I'm pretty sure we gain far more from the Crown Estates than we put into the Civil List.

I don't love the royals, but they serve a purpose and cost us nothing. I wouldn't trade places with any of them.

Woman on a Raft said...

I had one of those terrible urges in the supermarket which make Old Holborn blow a fuse about consumerism. Mindful of his wisdom, I just about resisted buying a copy of Hello! with Kate on the cover and a freebie beauty magazine.

Then I got to the end of the car park and thought "But it would annoy Yazzer treeeemendously to know that a mere picture of the Duchess of Cambridge can change my consumption patterns and when she finds out I intend to stick the picture up on the fridge, she'll absolute freak. That alone is worth £2.50. Bargain.

I must make sure to tell her.

Greencoat said...

She grew up in comfort in Africa while her racist snob of a father sneered at the 'natives'.

This woman is an ungrateful snake with no right to be in this country.

Ancient+Tattered Airman said...

I can't really decide. Yaz or Polly? One of them is the most disagreeable columnist (communist?)in the world and the other is the runner up.

Anonymous said...

May God grant her the mercy of seeing out the last of her hopefully short days in the comfort of her birth country.

JuliaM said...

"Yazza's bitterness towards Kate Windsor nee Middleton is Steve Sailer's law of radical female journalism writ large."

Spot on!

"... when Benjamin Zephaniah one upped her in victimhood top trumps by refusing his."

Oh, indeed. I'd forgotten that.

"Even if I had been the staunchest Republican in the land, the knowledge that Yazza hates Kate Middleton would turn me into a royalist on the spot. "

She is at least a pretty reliable weathervane - whatever she thinks of a topic, the sensible answer is the opposite.

"That alone is worth £2.50. Bargain.

I must make sure to tell her."


Anonymous said...

The royals are the ultimate in show biz. Long may they gaudy.

Rob said...

Could this embittered, very wealthy class warrior really be the same Yazza who sent her son to the egalitarian socialist school known as...Eton?

Why yes, it is!