Sunday, 16 November 2014

Local Newspaper Comment Of The Year!

Alison Warburton, prosecuting, said: "During the course of a search, police found a lock knife in a draw (sic) with money.
"Nunchuks were in the glovebox and knives in a sink behind the driver.
"The defendant was arrested and interviewed.
"Regarding the nunchuks, he said I wouldn't know what to call them but I know what they are.
"They are homemade, not ones you can train with.
"He said they belonged to someone else - an 18-year-old male - and the other male had brought them into the van in April because he was being bullied.
"He said I intended to give them back but it slipped my mind because I was busy with work.
"The throwing knife he said was used to cut open boxes and had been given by a kid on his round."
Freeborn John says...
If that feller asked me if I wanted topping, I'd be very careful what I said...
I am open-mouthed in admiration, sir!


Lord T said...

Cache of weapons my bum part.

A Stanley knife. Shit every handyman is in big trouble.

What a mickey mouse society we are.

Anonymous said...

You would find guns, knives, "clubs" (cricket and baseball bat)and a machete in my house. If you spread them all out on a police blanket doubtless I would appear a complete psycho.
Better post as anonymous, eh?

Ancient+Tattered Airman said...

We must all be guilty! What kitchen is without knives?

Jim said...

This makes me think of Peter Kay's comic creation, Mr Softy Top:

Anonymous said...

"The defendant no longer has the ice cream van and is now on benefits."

Well done. Got to keep the plebs down where they belong,

JuliaM said...

"A Stanley knife. Shit every handyman is in big trouble."

If it had been just that, I might have agreed. I'd hope if it had been, they wouldn't have pursued it, but who knows?

"Well done. Got to keep the plebs down where they belong,"

Well, yes, but then, he does seem to have been the architect of his own misfortune...