England Are Never Going To Win The World Cup…

…not at the rate all our ‘talented young footballers’ are being relegated by the Grim Reaper!

Talented young footballer Lewis Johnson, 18, hit a van at a busy junction near Clapton Common shortly before noon yesterday.

Scotland Yard said they launched a pursuit after the teenager failed to stop for officers investigating reports of a theft in Dalston 30 minutes earlier.

At least no innocent bystanders were mown down. My sympathies are with the van driver and the police, who’ll now face a grilling from the IPCC.

For those who regard this as heartless, because ‘he couldn’t be expected to know the dangers of police evasion on a moped, well…

His death sparked an outpouring of grief among friends and family, many of whom last night gathered at an event to mark what would have been the 20th birthday of Henry Hicks, 18.

Henry, from Islington, died when he crashed his moped into a parked car while being pursued by two unmarked police cars in December 2014.

I guess some people are just incapable of learning…

Other friends flooded social media with tributes the popular teenager, one wrote: “Feels weird to know I’ll never bump into him again on the late-night shop runs or catch him riding through the end on pedals.”

Two wheels weren’t his forte, obviously!

Another said: “So many people from my area dying from either stabbings or moped crashes, RIP Lighty.”

They seem to regard these hazards as unavoidable acts of nature, like lightning strikes or meteorites. In fact, they are simple consequences of their lifestyle.