- If a four year old wakes hungry at midnight, the thing to do is offer them a packet of crisps.
- It's quite normal to have two of your three dogs turn on a third and kill it. No action need be taken.
- If you have a heavily-pregnant bitch as one of those three (Ooops! Two!) dogs, it's best to
keep her confined so she delivers safely let her run around loose to be killed by a car.
- If one of your absolutely-not-bred-for-fighting-dogs goes nuts and mauls to death your four year old nephew (he of the nightly gourmet meal of crisps), no-one will think it odd that you pen the sort of mawkish sentimental tripe that would have a seasoned Hallmark Card buyer vomiting uncontrollably as a 'tribute' at the funeral.
* Disclaimer: May only apply to Liverpool
I thought Wayne Rooney would have been too busy to keep all them dogs...
And what we've learned about Rural Life and Dog Ownership is:
Rambler + dogs + cow + calves = risk of serious injury or death.
Dey doo do don' dey dey doo
'Rambler + dogs + cow + calves = risk of serious injury or death.'
You have a cow and a dog: Something should be done, there should be a law against it...
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
Every day my dog and I go for a tramp in the woods.
Oh and AP,
First cows, giraffes, dogs, the trees are getting into the act now -
The picture, oh the picture. Satire is dead. Sometimes they eat their young, you know.
Youre shittin me , a green tree hugger had a tree maliciously attack and kill him, was it in some sort of protest at being hugged???
Yup standard dog and kid care but you did forget that you need to be able to set your one of your absolutely-not-bred-for-fighting-dogs onto the police for fun so it can spend 5 months in a secure often s**t kennel before being put down.
5 months..? Good grief!
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