Sir Andrew Motion, the new president of the Campaign to Protect Rural England, says Londoners should venture out into the shires and ‘hug an animal’.Kiddies! Should you be venturing out into the country, that place of mystery and strange creatures, remember this important advice:
Hug this (but only if its mum isn’t around)
Don’t try to hug this!
And please remember to wash your hands!
Sir Andrew, who lives in North London for his work but travels to the countryside almost every week, also urged the preservation of libraries and post offices to give rural people a sense of community.
He said: ‘People need communities and to chat. The internet, for all the good that it does, does not do that.’Yes, indeed. No-one chats on the Internet, no-one!
We in the countryside do have a community spirit. It is fostered in our local pubs. Any townie trying to hug an animal will get bitten, butted, kicked or gored. Or possibly eaten if it's a crocodile at one of our more entertaining farms.
I could introduce him to some lovely pigs of my acquaintance. Would he prefer to hug them before or after they have had a good roll in the mud?
Hug a potato - you know it make sense.
"Londoners should venture out into the shires and ‘hug an animal’."
I fear that having not passed a McDonalds, Gap or JD Sports for 20 minutes would cause many to give up and turn around. Others, perhaps getting as far as Heathrow before discovering you cannot book a direct flight to Dingle's Farm, Suffolk.
Ugh, it smells horrible. Don't you teach your animals how to flush their toilets?
I've got a better idea - why not get them to seek out (and hug) a badger, THEN go and hug a cow...
I took some Londoners to Dartmoor once, their complaint (apart from the wind) was that there was "nothing here" ie no buildings.
When confronted with an Ancient Monument one commented "Why is there all this rubble, why don't they take it away?"
Microdave is right - let's promote 'hug a badger day'.
Just think how much we'd make from selling tickets to watch. in Scotland we could have 'cuddle a wildcat week' too.
Oh, my aching sides, and my overflowing camera memory...
"Or possibly eaten if it's a crocodile at one of our more entertaining farms."
"Others, perhaps getting as far as Heathrow before discovering you cannot book a direct flight to Dingle's Farm, Suffolk."
Heh! The countryside is a far tamer place than that depicted therein...
"... their complaint (apart from the wind) was that there was "nothing here" ie no buildings. "
"...in Scotland we could have 'cuddle a wildcat week' too."
Splendid idea! I nominate the buskers that gather under the railway bridge in Southend high street.
I'd like to see them murder 'Champagne Supernova' after that...
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